tips on how to make youyr landy look 'hard'

thats OK , any good recommendations for some good porno?

No. But do you remember the advert for one of those pretentious dickhead vans the Nissan Navaro or summat, any how the music was from Lee Van Cleefes pocket watch in "The Good The Bad And The Ugly". And mothers took there kids inside and people drew there curtains and the nob head driver went to get a poncey kids burger from McDonalds, and the slogan said it demands respect!! Well wot a load of ****e.

Any how if you want your landy to look hard drive into one of those vehicles kick the blokes head in, shag his wife, nick the kids burger to feed to your pig and **** in the ashtray!

GRUNT said:

...shag his wife...

Click to expand...

Or if you want to look seriously 'ard... shag his rotweiller...

Seeing as how most of the owners are saddo loser types it follows that the wife will also be a degenerate chavvy type and you would therefore be harder if you shagged the wife and made the rottwieler into a vindaloo after impaling it on your roofrack.

Sod all that, that sounds like alot of hard work. Get your landy gold plated, everyone will notice you and you'll have to arm your self, therefore not only making your landy hard but yourself as well! All you'll need to do is polish it occassionly (you could put a pinny on for that!) and avoid swimming for a while!

S'anuvver day now, maybe nobber's woken up & realised he was actually talikng shiite & his Landy, simply because it's a Landy doesn't need to look hard...................or maybe it's up fer sale this morning & he's buying a Navarra?

Actually, seen that Nissan advert? One where each Nissan 4x4 morphes into a different animal & covers all this 'challenging' terrain, then turns back into a car again? Cracks me up, they have to use CGI & can't actually show any of the real slittys covering any of the terrain they show on account of A/ the feckers would get stuck & B/It wouldn't actually look that exciting & C/Vitrually none of the vehicles they produce will EVER see anything other then tarmac anyways, so whodda**** cares?

Aaaaaah, feel better for that.

Treworgey 90 said:

the number and size of lights that you've got on yer truck is inversely proportional to the size of yer dick.

Click to expand...

both my side lights dont work

but to make it look harder tie some road kill to the front a badger should do it

i now know its the wheels and tyres. rangie 3 spoke and general grabbers DONT ooze hardness.
any tyre recommendations? I'm after ardness , off road ability and a 60 mile round trip too and from work everyday on motorways without deafening myself.
wheels will hopefully be 7.5.

as for nivarnas , who gives a ****? if they are anything like L200 'warriors' or those ****ing poncy 'animals' then id rather shove an oak tree up my arse than even slightly resemble the 'marlbourogh men' that drive them balls of ****e.

nobber u like shoveing things in holes ???

None of my lights work at the moment and I've got a humungous cock.

And I'm not shoving it in any holes that nobber has owt to do with

i bet ya hens are happy then

The Mad Hat Man said:

i bet ya hens are happy then

Click to expand...

might have to wrap em in gaffer tape first to stop em from splitting.

thats just soo wrong but i bet it feels soo right

sharp bones in hens , squirrels tend to get too wet too quictly , cant get a good enough grip on a hedge hog , mmmm , gerbils aint too bad but again they split easily.

yu heard about the gay in merka - had to go to hospital to have a hamster removed?

mark almond and mel gibson to name a few.

i suppose mine being purple and hard ( ooh err) is why everyone calls me a Fooking hairdresser !!!!!

Nah... it's 'cos it's a gaylander

EbonynIvory said:

Well too late now, I still can't get that pitchure out of my head!!

Click to expand...

There are a few people still recieving therapy because of that picture! That rangie could of never run right with such a small exhaust pipe