Justice for all !!!.....................

I think we should put in a bid for the world cup I fly to Africa and Mid East so can take care of all the bribes there

sandyt said:

I think we should put in a bid for the world cup I fly to Africa and Mid East so can take care of all the bribes there

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Naah don't bother i am sure the payments from the Russian mafia will keep the FIFA officials in cash for years to come. In Preston we have the oldest football ground in the world, were the first professional football club in the world. Yet the national football museum is being moved to Manchester because they offered the biggest bribe. Sorry incentive, to move it there. It's all about money. FIFA is even more corrupt than the house of commons, now there's a sweeping statement.

Just heard that the yanks have produced a land-mine that resembles a prayer-mat for the terrorists, they recon it'll go down like a bomb & that they'll be blown away with them!!
(hopefully)

Here's another idea for you Fett me boy.
You will need to get hold of a oxy/acetyline welding kit and a small metal rod of some description.

Usage. Heat up metal rod using welding kit until it glows red (but before it starts to droop) then insert rod under toe/finger nail of your victim.... sorry, I mean applicant.


Or you could just stick them in a room with my missus for a while. Either way it's highly painful.


On a different note the green badge fell off my Classic. does it still count towards entry into your country

Fromn the home office perspective it may well invalidate your ability to use the vehicle tax free I shall look into and revert

Khryztal said:

Here's another idea for you Fett me boy.
You will need to get hold of a oxy/acetyline welding kit and a small metal rod of some description.

Usage. Heat up metal rod using welding kit until it glows red (but before it starts to droop) then insert rod under toe/finger nail of your victim.... sorry, I mean applicant.


Or you could just stick them in a room with my missus for a while. Either way it's highly painful.


On a different note the green badge fell off my Classic. does it still count towards entry into your country

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:hysterically_laughi:hysterically_laughi Gold!



Very effective and I will probably use that method


Yes but you have to figure out how to fix both mine and your heaters

sandyt said:

Fromn the home office perspective it may well invalidate your ability to use the vehicle tax free I shall look into and revert

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I think classics should be banned, unless they are driven by good looking young ladies wearing extremely short skirts and thongs, or even no underwear, who get in and out of their car in extreme slow motion. Can we have a vote on this proposal?

no and your visa is revoked , get off the island

fett said:

no and your visa is revoked , get off the island

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Seems a tad harsh may I suggest a compromise that All Range Rover owners are supplied with a nubile young female serf to drive them around and do the servicing

fett said:

no and your visa is revoked , get off the island

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How dare you speak to your chancellor in that manner. In my unreproachable position unfortunaly i am not allowed to take bribes. But a Mars bar every week sent to my office in a plain envelope may help your cause if you promise to stick your green oval back on ASAP.

sandyt said:

Seems a tad harsh may I suggest a compromise that All Range Rover owners are supplied with a nubile young female serf to drive them around and do the servicing

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As Witch Finder General May I suggest a counter proposal .......

Following on from our chancellor's proposal & I quote

unless they are driven by good looking young ladies wearing extremely short skirts and thongs, or even no underwear, who get in and out of their car in extreme slow motion.

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To further this aspect I would propose that ALL Vehicles within our Counrty have their doors Hinged at the rear (rather than at present) at the front..

This wouldd allow ample time for viewing said "good looking young ladies wearing short skirts & thongs or even no underwear" alighting from said vehicles "in Extreme slow motion"....

This I feel would take the "Inference" off the actual type of vehicle they are alighting from.....


All those in favour please say "AYE" ......

And NOBODY say they aint ever done that ..its the all time No1 favourite trick of the paparatzi (Run to the "Hinged" side of the car door & get a shot up the Celebs kilt!!!!) as they set one leg out of the car!!!

Cat Deely was caught with no drawers on last month in this exact position .......... (Not that I looked on T'internet for it when I was told about it !!!)

Free beer and slappers. My place 10pm. No dress code.

King.

Are the "Slappers" Female or Male (Coz as J The Range is comin over we'll need some "Shirt Lifters" to keep him happy ......)

I shall order a gimp. This must be destroyed afterwards. No cameras, no press.

storm99 said:

I shall order a gimp. This must be destroyed afterwards. No cameras, no press.

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If you could arrange for Anthony Cotton (Sean, from Corrie) J would be "Made up like"

I know not what this 'corrie' is...but i do know that Sean isn't a fudgepacker..my mum told me.

storm99 said:

I know not what this 'corrie' is...but i do know that Sean isn't a fudgepacker..my mum told me.

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BUGGER I forgot (yer still in negotiations with Virgin & Sky to get us "Gimp channels"

Corrie = Cornation Street ... ( My Wife says its a programme on the Telly) Never heard of it myself mind !!!!

I watched about 2 minutes of corrie last night as the mrs had it on....that rosie has fantastic titties

Series71 said:

I watched about 2 minutes of corrie last night as the mrs had it on....that rosie has fantastic titties

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Ahhh..that Corrie..and yes, you'd have to gnaw my legs off to get me off her.

You mean THIS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> HELEN FLANAGAN I presume !!!!







MMMMmmmmmm I take your point there Ma Man ...TASTIE!!!!!!!!!!