The end is near-incomming

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The Mad Hat Man said:
Be sure your previous comments will come back to haunt you :rolleyes:

how do reconcile your "I take no ****" attitude with trying to impose your attitudes on her? :behindsofa:
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Bite me- we are talking woman hormonal moments V the prolonged suffering of a family loved one- I personally see the comment by MHM as poorly chosen.

Prior experience says she will be full of regrets and I hoped a letter would be a nice way of saying to her granddad that she cares about him and also closure of what if's.

If you wish to paint me as a heartless bastard on life and death matters- it could back fire spectacularly.

Do you not remember a certain person who some of us never met lost his wallet- we had a whip round so the kids birthday wasn't a disaster- but you forgot to mention that.

Personally slow painful death of someone I like isn't something I find humorous.

Mind when I die they will bury me 15 ft to make sure I don't come back.
 
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I aint saying that at all - it just seemed at odds with some of yo previous posts.
I do understand where yo are coming from. There is no need for threats :(.
 
The Mad Hat Man said:
I aint saying that at all - it just seemed at odds with some of yo previous posts.
I do understand where yo are coming from. There is no need for threats :(.
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No threats, just a suggestion that every day banter v trying to help someone cope with a dying loved one- A marked difference.

In the past she has found it easier to put her feelings in a letter-hopefully if she is quick she will have time. My hope was to help her come to terms with the situation in a compassionate manner with any sensible suggestions

Sirus said:
Best make it 20ft:D:D:D
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You can **** of anorl:p
 
fanatic said:
In the past she has found it easier to put her feelings in a letter-hopefully if she is quick she will have time. My hope was to help her come to terms with the situation in a compassionate manner with any sensible suggestions
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I get the impression she int ready to come to terms with this yet though Fanny :(
 
Unfortunately Ivor died yesterday morning, my partner is best described as unsettled and I've tried to comfort her as best as possible while keeping my opinions to myself.

At the end of the day turning black through organ failure and in constant pain, unkind as it may seem- there is no quality of life in that situation.

Thank you to all for your replies.
 
Karlos28 said:
did she ever make contact with him? sorry to hear that story..
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Sadly not, but then again he was in a hell of a state near the end, I'd hoped she could say goodbye with a letter-closure.

She is behaving slightly odd and I think that maybe the service will hopefully settle her and say her goodbyes.

I'm an atheist, but she is a bit more belief type
 
Sorry to hear the news, I guess it now becomes all about helping her cope with it better in her own space and time.
If the moment presents itself it might be worth revisiting the letter idea ? She can say in it anything she wishes she had said whilst he was alive. If necessary it could even be buried/cremated with him if that is what she wants and other family members agree. Its an indaequate and slightly clumsy term but it is about closure and moving on.
 
Maybe something at the service but from what you`ve said previously if she couldn`t come to terms with saying what she wanted to say to him in private I doubt she`s going to want to do it in public, at an emotionally charged occasion.
When I don`t know what to do faced with a number of equally attractive options I tend to choose the option which is easiest to fix if it turns out to be wrong - the letter might pass that test (particularly since once she has written it she can decide what she wants to do with it, it might live in a drawer thereafter but writing it might have been cathartic), something public doesn`t ?
Best of luck whatever she decides to do.
 
The one thing that I have found with my job is that there are numerous ways to cope or deal with things - some of them are constructive and effective, some are clumsy, some are distructive, some are poorly thought through and some are harmful

but what's right for one person may be wrong for another and you can never get a right fit

Do what youre doing Fanny- give her unconditional support and love - no advice and leave her to work out a strategy that works for her ( even if it doesn't sound right for you )

Good luck
 
Service is Monday
and
looks like I'm looking after our child, so it will be a day of colouring books or maybe a cake making day mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 
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