Needed to say

thks so much guys and girls and really appreciate the kind words

all i can do is hold her hand and be there every step of the way but knkw its going to be a rough ride and intend to contact macmilon when we get to maidstone for advice and help

most appreciated and means alot being amongst friends

gary

Singvogel said:

That's **** rotten luck Gary.

I understand how you must feel and empathize totally.

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Singvogel said:

Check this site - sound people.

How we can help - Macmillan Cancer Support

Keep us posted when you're able - we're all thinking of you and supporting you every step of the way.

Singvogel.

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They are indeed wonderful people. At the right time the hospital or GP will contact MacMillan and a nurse will contact the patient. The palliative care they provide is funded by the NHS and is superb. They will order all drugs necessary and monitor the patient. Their care is vital as the problems faced are too difficult for a close relative to manage.

thks so much , hope this doesnt sound daft but has been a great help by me coming on here and just talking and venting my views and also getting some great advice

i just cannot begin to say thank you enough for all your support and for that im truely thankful for

im still trying to get my head round this

when i went into the hospital found out senga had bed sours, i was not a happy bunny, spoke to the sister and she said the nurses should have checked, the nurses got miffed with me as i went down to the hospitals chemist ans got some sudicrem and came back up and put the cream on myself, this may sound horrible but didnt give two ****s of the feelings of the nurses it was my wifes health that i was concerned about,

then asked may i have a support air matresss please and they said they needed the consultants permission, so i just went down to the pals, and low and behold a matress appreared,

dont get me wrong i admire the hospital staff in what they do and my wife isnt the only patient, but shes my wife and wont put up with any ****

hope that doesnt sound rude but senga is my number one priority and dont want her to get an affection from bed soars where the skin starts to split

will be good to get down to maidstone so we can then start her treatment and get her better

she is going here

MTW Oncology Centre | Patient Information | Patient Information

thks again for listening and know that we will need the help of mcmillion , i will of course do anything thats required of me but of course being emotionally involved will need specialist help

gary

Make sure you raise any concerns you have straight to the ward sister and don't be afraid to talk to the consultant as he will go nuts if the care is not up to scratch

hiya

sengas home now for a fortnight, then she has got to have some stents fitted in her urither then onto chemo

i managed to see the matron and she was not a happy camper with the nurses ans to say **** hit the fan was an underestimate

at least now i can ensure she is looked after properly and kept clean and fed , just so upsetting seeing her white as a sheet and lost so much weight, down to 7 stone but she is only 4 foot 11 , but sad to see her like this

have registered now with the district nurse and a macmilon . nurse as well

been looking for a good air mattresss etc

thks so much for such kind words means alot

gary

Thoughts are with you all. Draw on the strengths within yo family. You are all in it together.

It's an awful disease. May your God be with you.

So sorry to here Gary but your strength and support will be just as vital in your good ladies recovery wishing you all the best mate and when you need a pick me up just jump on here and let loose I'm sure we will all help out

ATB
Paul

Morning Gary,

Good to hear that Senga is at home for a couple of weeks.

You were right to complain to the ward sister and the consultant. Most of the regular nurses are truly 'overworked and underpaid' but there is absolutely no excuse for not paying attention and missing things like bedsores.

I've been through the cancer thing with both my mum and my dad and had a scare with Mrs S over Xmas when she started coughing up blood. It took her six months to get over that, and we just had the last hospital visit (hopefully) a couple of weeks back.

Attitude and the old expression 'keeping the spirits up' is pretty important. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer some 20 years ago - as soon as she new the schedule for the chemo-therapy she was booking a holiday in Turkey.
She was a tough old bird my mum - she died a couple of years ago - but nothing to do with cancer. She had a double mastectomy and carried on being active, going on holidays to Spain with her pals, and doing everything she did before, well into her 90s.

My dad had/has skin cancer and has just finished a month in hospital having radiation-therapy. He's taken up bird-watching from his lounge window. He didn't know a starling from a seagull last year. Nice cheap hobby too.

So try to find a brand new common interest would be my best advice, and plan ahead for when the chemo is over.

I really do empathize with your situation - so keep on coming back on the forum to discuss anything you want Gary.

Excuse me rambling on.

Best regards to you and Senga.

SV.

thks guys

had a bad night but am expecting that

i was horrified and heartbroken, when i got her undressed her pjs were soiled and she was covered in bed sores, for #### sake, gave her a nice wash, creamed all the sores gave her her a top to toe wash and clean pjs, all clean bedding , sheets , pillow cases and tucked her in

made her laugh when i said now ur taking the **** from our wedding vowels of better for worse, lol

she has got to have a ureteric stent from her kidney to her bladder in the next fortnight

senga managed to eat two spoon fulls of bran this morning , but then found out the nurses have been giving her lactose every day, holy **** know wonder she ended up soiling her self
we are going back soon and will be having a word with the matron and christ **** will hit the fan , im disgusted and burst in to tears when i went out the bedroom as i didnt want senga to see me upset

tucked her back in, a nice cold drink of ribania with a straw and ive cubes, and senga has nodded off,

just the food intake worries me and trying to get her to eat, she has gone off, build ups, yogurgt, ice cream, trifles , trying to find something

any ideas plse

also been trying to find some wipes that when u wet them soap comes out of it,but cant find any yet so can keep hygene to the highest level also going to buy some disposable gloves

using sudecrem for the bed sores , and the christ the skin hasnt split yet, but the muscle wastage upsets me to , as she is very weak and got to face surgery and chemo yet

thks so much again for allowing me to come here as its been a great help to me as im partially disabled with my back and hurting like hell, but dont give a ****, can collapse when shes better, lolol

gary

gstuart said:

hiya

sengas home now for a fortnight, then she has got to have some stents fitted in her urither then onto chemo

i managed to see the matron and she was not a happy camper with the nurses ans to say **** hit the fan was an underestimate

at least now i can ensure she is looked after properly and kept clean and fed , just so upsetting seeing her white as a sheet and lost so much weight, down to 7 stone but she is only 4 foot 11 , but sad to see her like this

have registered now with the district nurse and a macmilon . nurse as well

been looking for a good air mattresss etc

thks so much for such kind words means alot

gary

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send me a pm later in early evening, I will phone my disabled dad- he knows all about air mattresses and what is most comfortable after years of them- think his is supplied by community project or red cross- I will ask

Talking is best way, people do want to listen and offer help/advice

Check for a drink called 'Fortisip' - a special high nutrition drink - you can get them on prescription or at any chemist. My dad has 4 a day because he was off normal food and was losing weight rapidly. Lots of different flavours too.

As for hygiene wipes - you could try Andrex kids moist ones - or Boots baby moist cloths - designed to prevent baby nappy rash.

All big supermarkets - Tesco, Asda, etc. usually have a whole aisle of 'feminine hygiene products' that most of us men never venture down.

warm water and cotton wool are recommended for babies or unscented wet wipes.

I can also ask about dressings and creams etc

Dad says
District nurse recommend, nurse recommended bed supplied and maintained by health authority it is a pressure sore bed with pump.

electrolytes- you don't need dioralyte own brand super market the same- get doctor to prescribe next week.

I have experienced similar with my best friends mum, I may not have answers to all your questions-but I do understand

oh bless u, thks guys, thats great

got the district nurse coming in on monday and hopefully she may be abke to also guide me on the dos and dont's

will also write down the products youve advised me on so can then talk to her gp, so can get some on prescription etc

also noted the maidstone hospital parking charges are £1.80 per day so maybe as ive got a blue badge they may help me with that and also find out if i can get help with fuel costs

i put in 25 quid and gave me around 160 miles which i think is very good and thk god its not in london and only about half hour away

know its going to be very hard fir senga to walk into the cancer unit but all i can do is hold her hand and help her get through it, just hope there sympathetic and pleasant

thks again so much for the sound advice and also for allowing me to come here and chat

gary

With a blue badge you shouldn't have to pay for parking at all - and definitely not at a hospital.

Not wanting to sound at all nationalistic, but at least the Scottish Government did away with all hospital parking charges - staff, patients, visitors - the lot.

And toll bridges.

What a palaver we used to have when my Dad crossed the Forth Bridge with his blue badge - you used to have to fill in a form rather than be waved through.

They are all free to everyone now.

End of rant - but I hate tolls.

thks

will see if i can get any further discount at the hospital,

darenth charge a quid and its adding up but dont mind really cause i thought were else can i park for only a pound for the day

but 2 pound a day and diesel on top will defentely hurt, but hopefully macmilion may be able to help me

as it would be around 60 quid for a 6 week period, but know i can say , mamma, lol

so nice to have my mum and dad still, there in the 80 s and still very fit which is so nice

gary

gstuart said:

thks

will see if i can get any further discount at the hospital,

darenth charge a quid and its adding up but dont mind really cause i thought were else can i park for only a pound for the day

but 2 pound a day and diesel on top will defentely hurt, but hopefully macmilion may be able to help me

as it would be around 60 quid for a 6 week period, but know i can say , mamma, lol

so nice to have my mum and dad still, there in the 80 s and still very fit which is so nice

gary

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Macmillan will help with forms to fill in for special considerations etc.
most hospitals now charge even if BBadge holder, but ask in the oncology ward they may do a 'special' ticket - but you have to ask - they don't tell you
If you need anything ask Macmillan and they'll point you in the right direction ... most stuff will come via 'Mediquip' they deliver from the warehouse, ask for a 'Occupation Therapy' assessment as 'urgent' -

That'll get you most stuff, even a hoist so you can move Senga around safely ...
You shouldn't have to buy much - if you do, keep the receipts, you may be able to claim it back ...

Also don't forget to have a carer assessment done so you are on the list for respite care - cause you need to be on top of your game as well ...

Big hugs and take care mate ...

Sent you a pm for certain things

British red cross loan medical equipment- if your wife is weak then a wheel chair to conserve strength.

Also hospital porter will assist if her mobility is poor.

Ask about hospital car service-will drop you right to the door.

Dippupud is right about respite, think the local authority do it for my uncle who my aunt cares for.

So very sorry to hear of your Wife's illness. Our local Hospital in Truro exempts cancer patients families from parking charges, hopefully yours may offer the same exemption.