just bought me first Defender 90

As it says above!

Im Phil from Wales (no sheep shaggin jokes please as i'll have to kill you!!)
Im 24 and a motorcycle technician


HELLO

Welcome. If you put their back legs down the front of your wellies (while you are wearing them) put their front legs on the edge of a cliff they push back better. There you go got that out of the way. Lots of banter on here , grow a thick skin and have fun. Its mad here

so you'll be no stranger to getting wet and freezing cold, have you uprated your tie down points? sheep mmmmmm barrrrrrbara

Ba ba baaa ba baaa ba abaaababababa bbbb ab babababab ,.....

Hello and welcome to LZ

Alright mate:welcome2:

Nobody posted the joke that ends in the farmer's wife saying, no they're in the Landy bibbing the horn!
I thought was the most appropriate one / most inappropriate.

I know they're not as civilsed as Discos, Rangies Freelanders and the likes, but I still like the Defender / pre-Defenders best.

Let me refresh your memory....


A novice farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.

The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.

So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.

"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls knackered into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.

did yu hear about the icelandic bloke who's car breaks down in Wales? Local mechanic has a look under the bonnet. pops his head up and says "sorry mate nowt I can do with it, you've blown a seal"

Icelandic guy says FFS yu shag sheep but we'd still fix your car if it broke down in Iceland.

Welcome...

Here's a tip, fit seat covers or they'll wear out right quick if you don't take you velcro trousers off before getting back in the car!