A tail of woe

ok I just thought I would let you all know the fun I have had today specially as its my birthday.

Desided this morning as I wasn't working it would be the ideal opertunity to fit new shocks to me shed.

1. read manual and thought that looks easy enough !!!
2. went and bought new shocks (heard scream from bank manager alway across barnsley)
3. got home and opened up the workshop and inserted said shed,
4. desided to start with what looked the easiest the back ones.
5. guess what all the bolts were rusted to buggery
6. Desided to get gas axe out to cut bolts of me not buggering about
7. As expected set bushes on fire
8. droped tourch to get fire extiguisher and set workshop on fire again lololol
9. finaly got rear shocks off and replaced without further insident.
10. started on front shocks.
11. gues what sheared off two of the mounting bolts for the turrets ho hum
12 quick dash back to spares man in ball and chains normal road car YUCK
13. OUCH !!!!
14. Got back home and finished removing old strut with aid of gas axe again.
15. put spring compressors on in order to drop the spring low enough to get that stupid plate out that has them stupid week mounting bolts in it.
16. Found out to my suprise that a spring compressor clears the top of the house when it slips off a disco spring.
17. retrived spring compressor from back garden
18. finally got supid plateout and new one back in.
19. trapped fingers putting spring back in.
20. got new strut in with no events
21. all put back together all for shocks replaced.
22. got in disco to reverse out and test drive to see how new shocks felt.
23. discovered I'd forgot to remove axle stand from under chassie with a loud bang.
24 phew no damage !!!


now after this eventfull afternoon my disco now drives lovely. but I have 2 questions for you all

1. should I be allowed n e where near the workshop again.

2. is there an easy way to do this fookin job !!!!

Answers on a post card to barnsley lunatic asylum please.

1. No! 2. Get someone else to do it

You didn't need to use the spring compressor.

http://www.landyzone.co.uk/lz/f7/how-replace-200-tdi-defender-front-shock-absorber-57044.html

What's the story here?

The whole affair looks like page from a LandyOwners DIY Manual.

It's not as if he's done something all the rest of us have managed.

I mean, what other way is there to do what he did?

CharlesY

I did this post just to poke fun at my self and my shed was only supposed to give u a laff and to prove i aint safe when left unsupervised lolololol

Tøxïc§øX™;712580 said:

to prove i aint safe when left unsupervised lolololol

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Tøxïc§øX™;712275 said:

16. Found out to my suprise that a spring compressor clears the top of the house when it slips off a disco spring.
17. retrived spring compressor from back garden

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NO **** sherlock

Tøxïc§øX™;712580 said:

I did this post just to poke fun at my self and my shed was only supposed to give u a laff and to prove i aint safe when left unsupervised lolololol

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You have to learn to keep on laughing when working on LandRovers.

I mean, the whole machine is a joke, right?

CharlesY

it makes my saturday a positive breeze

CharlesY said:

I mean, the whole machine is a joke, right?
CharlesY

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Are you refering to vauxhall vectra`s again???????????

I've found that the Disco bottle Jack, strategically placed twixt chassis rail and axle makes a fine spreader ... and will spread 'em just enough to fit a +2" spring ... WITH a bit of help and leverage applied ('ammer .. feckin' big 'ammer) but WITHOUT pulling the brake lines apart or having to undo calipers etc. Made the job dead easy ...

Most people would also have, knowing they were going to take bits apart at the weekend, been out every day squirting PlusGas/WD40 over any nuts/bolts for the previous week.

Just so you feel better, Tøxïc§øX™ ....

PS: Happy birthday .. er ... for whenever it was ...

Tøxïc§øX™;712580 said:

I did this post just to poke fun at my self and my shed was only supposed to give u a laff and to prove i aint safe when left unsupervised lolololol

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Happy Birthday. Welcome and it amused me anyhow. :welcome2:

barnsley lad
couldnt stop laughing about spring compressers clearing house :hysterically_laughi so funny

Just as a matter of interest I discovered by a happy accident many years back that a 50-50 mixture of diesel and kerosene is an extremely effective penetrating fluid.

Slap a gallon of the mix in a pail and drop small stuck things in and leave them for a week. On bigger things I apply it with a half-inch paint brush.


CharlesY

CharlesY said:

Just as a matter of interest I discovered by a happy accident many years back that a 50-50 mixture of diesel and kerosene is an extremely effective penetrating fluid.

Slap a gallon of the mix in a pail and drop small stuck things in and leave them for a week. On bigger things I apply it with a half-inch paint brush.


CharlesY

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Question as im having a proper lol, Whats a happy accident???? pmsl

J.P.S said:

Question as im having a proper lol, Whats a happy accident???? pmsl

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Serendipity.

J.P.S said:

Question as im having a proper lol, Whats a happy accident???? pmsl

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My eldest son ...

We had a party at home, loads of friends round, and somehow the game 'Twister', amongst others, got brought out and we all had a drunken laugh. So party ends, wife and I decide to carry on playing .. somehow it ended up being 'Strip Twister' ...

Eldest son (now 16+) was the 'happy accident' that resulted ...

certianly got me laughing when i read your message,....cheers