110 300tdi soft top.

This site contains affiliate links for which LandyZone may be compensated if you make a purchase.
itsaheaterpipethisis**** said:
you havant got the balls to buy it.

**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Click to expand...

If my balls have to be involved in the transaction I think I'll give it a miss thanks :eek:
 
blue beasty said:
If my balls have to be involved in the transaction I think I'll give it a miss thanks :eek:
Click to expand...

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1· EXT. RUSSIA -- NIGHT




We open on a GUARD sitting in front of a sentry post. He is
wearing a heavy fur hat that covers his ears and a military-
jacket. Behind him is a list of instructions (in Russian).
He 'sucks in a cigarette as though he's a drowning man lookin
for oxygen. A CAR comes to a stop by the sentry post, the,
guard looks, asks a couple of questions and is given an
-envelope which he quickly examines, he then attempts to stick
his head in the car. A gun barrel is promptly stuck in his
face and a couple of angry words emanate from the back, the
guard jumps back and quickly raises the barrier.



This next section will be intercut with the credit sequence.

«·'


2 INT. BACK OF RUSSIAN CAR -- NIGHT

On the back seat is FRANKY FOUR -FINGERS, (New York street
wise Jew) who is clutching a fancy looking briefcase which
is handcuffed to his wrist. He is flanked by TWO RUSSIAN
HOODS. This next section will be subtitled.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

How much further do we have to go?
Just then the car comes to a standstill. The window is wound
down and a gun barrel is stuck through. The RUSSIAN DRIVER
looks dramatically calm.

RUSSIAN

Pass him the money.
Franky hesitates for a second.

RUSSIAN (CONT'D)

Franky you know you have no choice.
So please can we get on with it?
Franky knows discussion is futile. He flips the case open
and pulls out a transparent plastic bag full of American
dollars. The package is pulled out of the window, the driver
doesn't move, we dissolve for a passage of time, the anxiety
is more than obvious, but Four Fingers can do nothing. All
of a sudden a package comes through the window and the car
speeds off without waiting for an inspection of the delivery.













(CONTINUED)





2 CONTINUED:

Franky opens the package and he reveals a stone the size of
a fist. He shines a torch onto it and puts a stone inspectin
monocle to his eye. He's satisfied.

CUT TO: MUSIC,A CLOSE UP OF THE DIAMOND. MIX TO: ANOTHER


DIAMOND BEING HELD BY AN OVERWEIGHT BLACK MAN. CUT TO: MONTAG


INVOLVING ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THE FILM. DEALING OR HAVING


SOMETHING TO DO WITH DIAMONDS OR THEFT. ONE SHOT AND SET UP


TAKES US SEAMLESSLY INTO ANOTHER SHOT AND SET UP. THIS GOES


ON FOR THE DURATION OF THE CREDITS. CUT BACK TO:




Franky Four Fingers opens a fancy case, presses a hidden
catch, this reveals a second wall within the case, he then
carefully places the stone within this secret compartment
and firmly closes the case. The Russian next to him is
playing with a revolver, he spins the chamber.

RUSSIAN (CONT'D)

If you need a man in London then
call this number.
Franky takes the card looks at it and repeats the name.

. FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Boris?

RUSSIAN

Boris, Boris can get you anything
you need.

CUT TO:CU OF SPINNING GUN CHAMBER


:


3 INT. LONDON - AMUSEMENT ARCADE -- DAY


C UT TO:CU OF SPINNING GUN CHAMBER




We are in the back room of an amusement arcade and can hear
fruit machines beeping in the distance. Meet BORIS THE BLADE
and TOMMY who is toying with a heavy-looking revolver.

TOMMY

It's a bit heavy isn't it Boris?

BORIS

Heavy is good. Heavy is reliable.
If it doesn't work you can hit him
with it.
Tommy practices a couple of gun slinging maneuvers. He's
impressed. At that moment the door opens and in walks a MAN
carrying two heavy sacks of coins. He's a rough looking
bastard, he's massive, and extremely ugly. Meet GORGEOUS

GEORGE.








(CONTINUED)





3 CONTINUED:


TOMMY

Yes Gorgeous?
George looks at the weapon and can see that he's interrupting.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

Sorry Tommy, I hope that I am not
interrupting.

TOMMY

Oh of course you're not interrupting
Gorgeous, I put the do not disturb
sign on the door because I wanted
you to join us.
George isn't too bright

GORGEOUS GEORGE

What are you doing Tommy?

TOMMY

I am baking a cake Gorgeous, not
that i t ' s any of your business. Put
the takings down, and be a good chap.
-. George puts down the coins. Tommy implies he should leave.
Gorgeous isn't too bright and continues to stand there looking
stupid. Tommy goes to turn around but can see that he hasn't
left, so he turns back,

TOMMY (CONT'D)

Is there anything else Gorgeous, a
cup of tea perhaps? No? Well in
that could you kindly **** off and
shut the door behind you?



Tommy turns round to Boris with a slight shake of his head.

TOMMY (CONT'D)

Not too bright but he hits like a
train. OK I ' l l take it. You're a
gambling man Boris, so I'll toss you
for it. Heads it's mine, tails I'll
give you twice the price.
Boris chews this for a second.

BORIS

I ' l l toss the coin.
He tosses the coin

CUT TO: CU OF SPINNING COIN





4 INT. NEW YORK_OFFICE -- DAY





CUT TO :CU OF SPINNING COIN

Meet HANDS. On the phone. Cool young street wise NY diamond
dealer. He catches a coin.

HANDS

Twenty carats?

5 INT. HEATHROW AIRPORT -- DAY

Franky's on the phone.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Best stone I've seen in years.

HANDS

Good man Franky, you done a good
job. What time you back?

FRANK Y FOUR FINGERS

I gotta move the smaller stones here;
it shouldn't take me long. I ' l l be
a couple of days.

HANDS

Speak to my cousin Doug.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Doug the Head?

HANDS

Yeah, Doug the Head. But get some
security. I mean it, get it today,
speak to those Russians, they can
get you anything. And. . .



Dramatic pause

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

And what?

HANDS

No ****in around in any casinos, you
hear me? You've done a good job
Franky, don't go and **** it up.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

I hear ya Hands. I see ya Hands.
The phone goes down and Hands looks up at a COLLEAGUE.

HANDS

He's got it.




6 INT. BORIS1 HOUSE

On the phone subtitled

RUSSIAN

Yes he's got it. He might call, he
might not, but if he does be ready.

BORIS

I' l l see what I can do.

RUSSIAN

He can't know that it's you Boris.
We do too much business together.
You're gonna have to get someone
else to hit him and there is no way
it can relate to us. You understand?

BORIS

Yes I understand.

RUSSIAN

One more thing, he loves to gamble.

7 EX.T. BACK ALLEY MAKESHIFT BOXING RING -- DAY

BRICK TOP (aka MR MCLEAN) is a heavy looking fella. He is
observing a giant of a man, BOMBER HARRIS, boxing a sparring
partner.

BRICK TOP

Two hundred and sixty pounds, that's
****ing pedigree pal.
He's talking to LIAM and GARY, a couple of employees.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

He doesn't look bad does he?

GARY

Oh no Mr Mclean, he looks great.

LIAM

Yeah great.

GARY

He'll kill him, he'll do you proud
governor.

BRICK TOP

Do you reckon that's what people
should do for me, do you Gary, do me
proud?

GARY

That's what you deserve Mr Mclean.




(CONTINUED)





7 CONTINUED:


BRICK TOP

Pull your tongue out of my arsehoie
Gary. Dogs do that, and you're not
a dog, are you Gary?
Taken aback by the change in tone.




GARY

Err no, I am not.

BRICK TOP

However, you do have all of the
characteristics of a dog Gary, all
except loyalty.
There is a definite change in temperature.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

And people like dogs Gary, for the
principal reason that they're loyal.
So I don't quite know where that
leaves you my old son, other than
re****inpugnant. . .
There is a problem

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Which one was it that kept the four
grand from the Clapham job?
Pause

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Don't let me ask again. I would
like answers, but I am not in the
mood for asking questions, get busy
lads, or it's feeding time, oink,
oink, know what I mean?
Liam takes a step to the side and moves his eyes in a sideways
action implying the guilt lies with Gary. Gary catches this
and opens his mouth to protest. One of Brick Tops's henchmen,
ERROL, sticks a belt in there as quick as it opens and smashes
a bar across Gary's legs, he buckles. The henchman man pulls
out a plastic bag and a roll of tape.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D')

You know what to do with that don't
you Liam?

CUT TO FIGHTERS. SMALLER FIGHTER IS DISTRACTED.


HARRIS

Don't look for your sake.




(CONTINUED)





7 CONTINUED: (2)




POV of Smaller Fighter, we witness Liam putting the bag over
Gary's head and tying tape round his neck. Gary tries to
resist but it's futile and we vaguely witness the demise of
poor Gary.




CUT TO BRICK TOP


BRICK TOP

You're a ruthless **** Liam, I' l l
give you that.
Brick Top turns away at this point to admire his fighter.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

But I got no time for grasses.



We cut to see Liam's panic filled eyes. The bar comes down
again. Brick Top finds more interest in his fighter.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Feed em to the pigs Errol.
With a short beat.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

He's looking good, Bomber, is he
not? How's their man getting on?
We whip pan off Brick Top's boxing ring...

8 EXT. ANOTHER BACK ALLEY MAKESHIFT BOXING RING - - DAY

...And the whip pan shot takes us into this boxing ring.
Meet TURKISH, he is Tommy's partner. Turkish is older and
wiser than Tommy, they are both watching Gorgeous go through
his paces. Gorgeous George is head butting a heavy punch
bag. The sound that emanates is disturbing, and Tommy is
distracted.

TOMMY

Is he allowed to do that?
Turkish is drinking milk from a bottle

TURKISH

It's an unlicensed boxing match Tommy,
not a tickling competition. These
lads are out to hurt each other.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

Oi Turkish, can I have a drink?
Turkish looks over his shoulder and then points to himself
v




(CONTINUED)





8 CONTINUED:


TURKISH

What do I look like to you George, a
****in water boy?
Turkish looks at the WATER BOY.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Oi son, look lively.



He turns .back to Tommy.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Look at it.



He turns to see the remnants of a caravan where they keep
the training gear and administration for the fights

TURKISH (CONT'D)

How am I supposed to run this thing
from that? We gonna need a proper
office.
He looks at the caravan again and sighs, it is quite pitiful

TURKISH (CONT'D)

I want a new one Tommy and you 're
going to buy it for me.

TOMMY

What's wrong with this one?
Turning back to Tommy and ascending the steps in to his "I
have seen better days" caravan, TURKISH'S foot goes through
one of the stairs and the.door comes off at the hinges as he
tries to open it.

TURKISH

Oh nothing Tommy, it's tip top, it's
just I am not sure about the colour.
He passes him a piece of paper

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Here it's all arranged. You just
gotta pick it up. Here's an address.
Tommy looks at the address and frowns.

TOMMY

I t ' s that campsite.

TURKISH

That's right, you're buying a caravan,
caravans live in campsites.




(CONTINUED)





CONTINUED: (2).





TOMMY

They aren't pikey are they?

TURKISH

I don't know what they are, all I
know is they have a caravan, and we
want a Caravan.

TOMMY

I hope they're not pikies. I hate
****ing pikies.

TURKISH

You're a sensitive boy, ain't you
Tommy? You got ten grand and I want
to see change.
He is distracted by the bulge in Tommy's trouser front.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

**** me, hold tight, what's that?

TOMMY

It's my Gucci belt, Turkish.
Pointing quite clearly at the gun.

TURKISH

No Tommy, there's a gun in your
trousers. What is a gun doing in
your trousers?

TOMMY

It's for protection.

TURKISH

Protection from what, the Germans?
The war ended fifty years ago. Err
what's to stop it blowing your balls
off every time you sit down? Where
did you get it?
Looking down onto his gun.

TOMMY

Boris the Blade.

TURKISH

You mean Boris the sneaky ****ing
Russian.
Turkish pulls the gun out of Tommy's front.







(CONTINUED)





8 CONTINUED: (3)





TURKISH (CONT'D)

I t ' s a bit heavy isn't it?



H e spins the chamber




CUT TO: CU OF GUN CHAMBER


INT. BORIS1 HOUSE -- DAY


9





CUT TO: CU OF GUN CHAMBER


BORIS

The weight is a sign of reliability.
I always go for reliability.
Boris is showing Franky a large pistol.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

I ' l l take it. How much do you want
for -it?

BORIS

Nothing.
Pause

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Ok, so what do you want for it?

BORIS

I want you to do something for me .
Franky nods for him to go on .

BORIS (CONT'D)

There is a fight in a couple of days:

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

What kind of a fight?

BORIS

Unlicensed boxing.
The camera tracks into Franky: he has a problem and it's
been exposed.

BORIS (CONT'D)

There is a bookies I know that will
take bets. If you place one down
for me we will call it quits.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Why don't you put it down yourself?







(CONTINUED)





9 CONTINUED:





BORIS

Well there isn't too many bookies
that take those kind of bets, and I
already have an outstanding debt
with the house. I know something
most don't. Why don't you put a few
pounds down yourself?



Frankie shrugs and implies he wants to hear more.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

What do you mean? ·

10 INT. NEW YORK OFFICE --DAY

On the phone.

HANDS

Play the game Doug.

11 INT. DOUG'S OFFICE




DOUG THE HEAD is an east London Jew, about forty five, almost
completely bald and proud of it, he sits with his two twin
daughters ALEX and SUSI - they look like Prada models but as
soon as they open their mouths, it's clear that they aren't,
they have extremely rough London accents. Doug is on the
phone to Hands.




DOUG

I am playing the game Hands. That's
what I ' l l give ya.
Hands shakes his head in disbelief.

HANDS

You gotta haggle fairly Doug,
otherwise it'll make your hair fall
out you'll see. .

DOUG

You know I won't buy poop.

HANDS

He isn't selling poop.

DOUG

Listen if the stones are kosher then
I'll by em. Now I gotta business, to
run.
He puts the phone down.










(CONTINUED)





11 CONTINUED:





DOUG (CONT'D)

That was my cousin Hands, Have I
told you about my cousin Hands?

ALEX

Yes Dad, you have.




DOUG

He's an important fella.

SUSI, . .

Yes Dad, you told us.

ALE X

Is that a prawn sandwich you're
eating?
Doug looks mildly embarrassed

DOUG

Is it?

ALEX

You're Jewish Dad.

DOUG

Yes. I was last time·I looked.

ALEX

Well you can't eat shell fish, Dad,
i t ' s against your persuasion.

DOUG

What persuasion myself or the prawns
belongs to is not the issue, the
issue is how a ****in shrimp managed
to sneak in to' my sandwich.
Pause.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Sneaky bastards.



He throws the half eaten sandwich out the window.

12 EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BOOKIES -- DAY




We cut to an enormous and frightening looking dog sniffing
the half eaten prawn sandwich, before he is yanked away by
his master. The dog is a lively young thing. We raise the
camera to see the man that is walking it. Meet VINNY. Vinny
is a very large black man - the size is due to dumplings not
dumbbells. He .stops outside a shop. We see it clearly.
I t ' s a pawnbrokers.




(CONTINUED)





12 CONTINUED:


VINNY

Move it, come on move" i t .
Vinny enters the pawn shop.




13 INT. PAWN BROKERS -- DAY




Meet SOL, who's behind the counter, Vinny's partner in the
pawn shop. He's concentrating on the deal at hand with BAD
BOY LINCOLN and has a stone-inspecting monocle to his eye.

VINNY

Alright Sol, Lincoln.
They are in deep discussion and only Lincoln responds.

B AD BOY LINCOLN

Vin.

SOL

It's a mosinite.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

A whatinnite?

SOL

No, a mosinite.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

How much a night?

SOL

No, a ****in mosinite. It's the
updated zirconia.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

Enough of bosinites and mosonias,
talk English to me Sol?

SOL

Zirconias are artificial diamonds,
they look pretty good to the novice
like you Lincoln. But you could
break them with a hammer, so they
came up with mosinites.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

What are you saying?

SOL

I am saying it's worth **** all.
Lincoln's face drops







(CONTINUED)





13 CONTINUED:





BAD BOY LINCOLN

**** what?

.SOL

I t ' s worth more than **** what, but
not a lot more.

VINNY

We have told you before Lincoln, you
· stick to being a gangster and leave
this game to me and Sol.



Sol looks round properly at Vin and can see that he's
accompanied by a dog. '

SOL

What's that Vince?

VINNY

Err, it's a dog Sol.

SOL '

Where do you think you're going with
that Vince?. You can't bring that
thing in here.

VINNY

It's in here, what's the problem,
it's only a dog.

SOL

I know full ****ing well what it is
Vin. Where did you get it?

VINNY

Those gypsies, they threw it in with
a load of moody gold.
Sol considers this and decides it can't be all bad.

SOL

It better not be dangerous.

VINNY

Does it look dangerous?

SOL

Yes, it ****ing does Vin. If it so
much as farts it's out.

VINNY

If it farts we'll all be out.










(CONTINUED)





13 CONTINUED: (2)




Vin turns around and runs into Boris, who's entered the shop
without making a noise.

VINNY (CONT'D)

Jesus, where did you come from?

BORIS

Uzbekistan.

VINNY

Oi Sol, Boris is here.

SOL

Boris, what's up?

BORIS

I have a job for you.

SOL

Go on.

BORIS

I want you to hold up a bookies.

SOL

How high do you want us to hold it?
Steady on George. We deal in
jewellery Boris, we don't hold up
bookies.
We can hear Vinny in the background

BORIS

Hear me out. This one is different.

14 INT. TOMMY'S VAN -- DAY

Tommy is driving down a country lane with Gorgeous George in
the passenger seat.

TOMMY

Don't you worry Gorgeous, he's a big
man granted but you gotta bigger
punch than Judy.
Cut to a caravan camp site comes into view. It's the PIKEY

ENCAMPMENT.


GORGEOUS GEORGE

Jesus what's that?

TOMMY

That's what we are looking for.







(CONTINUED)





14 CONTINUED:


GORGEOUS GEORGE

I t ' s a camp site. It's a pikey
campsite.

TOMMY

Ten points.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

What are we doing here?

TOMMY

We are buying a caravan.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

Off a pack of ****ing pikies? What's
wrong with you? This'll get messy.

TOMMY

Not if you're here.

GORGE OUS GEORGE

Oh **** off Tommy you never said
anything about pikies.

TOMMY

Calm down, we are buying and then we
are off.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

Oh you bastard, I hate ****in pikies.
They arrive in the camp site and the car is immediately
surrounded by KIDS. The kids (most of whom are on bikes)
speak with a sort of Anglo-Irish mix that sounds as rough as
the kids look. ,

KID 1

That's a flash car Mister.

TOMMY

Not as flash as your bike though is
it?

KID 1

Who you looking for?

TOMMY

Mr O'Neill.

KID 1

Do you want me to go and get him?

TOMMY

Good lad.




(CONTINUED)





14 CONTINUED: (2_) .




There is a pause, the boy doesn't move.

TOMMY (CONT'D)

Well are you going to go and get
him?

KID 1

Yeah.
There is another pause.

TOMMY

Well what are you waiting for?




KID 1

The five quid you are going to pay
me.
Chuckling.

TOMMY

Oh **** off, I'll find him myself.

KID 1

Two fifty.

TOMMY

You can have a quid.

KID 1

Oh you're a tight ****er aren't ya?
A man shouts from the background. He's a young fella with a
hard but friendly face (when he smiles). He's covered in
grease and facial hair, and his trousers are done up with
string. But he's wearing a Cartier watch and Gucci shoes,
and a large gold identity bracelet. This is MICKY O'NEILL.

MIC KY

What are you doing Paul? Get out of
the way boy. Are you Tommy, have
you come about the caravan?

TOMMY

Mr O'Neill?

MICKY

**** man, call me Micky.
Micky comes up to the car, cleaning his grease covered hands
with a hand towel.

TOMMY

How are ya?




(CONTINUED)





14 CONTINUED: ( 3 )





MICKY

I am well sir, well, quite well, the
weather is being kind to us but the
engines aren't.



Gorgeous George steps out of the car. Micky takes a step
back.

MICKY (CONT'D)

**** me, would you look at the size
of him, Jesus man how big are you?
Hey kids how ****ing big is he?

KID 2

He's a big man that's for sure.

MICKY

Would you look at the size of his
muscles? And then look at the size
of his fists. Hey Mum, come and
look at the size of this fella.
The kids start to feel his arms. Gorgeous George plays the
game and raises the kids on his biceps. Micky's MUM comes
out to see.

MICKY (CONT'D)

Would you look at the strength of
the man? I bet you can box a little
can't you sir? You look like a boxer.

MUM

Get out of the way Micky and see if
the fellas would like a drink.

TOMMY

I could murder one.

MUM

There won't be any murdering done
around here, I don't mind telling
ya.

MICKY

Would the big fella like a cup of
tea?

MUM

Don't be silly Micky, a man didn't
get that size from drinking cups of
tea. Offer the man a Guiness boy.

KID 2

Lift me up would you Mister?

(CONTINUED)





14 CONTINUED: ( 4 )





KID 3

I bet you can't lift us both at the
same time.
Tommy and Gorgeous follow Micky who's walking past a kennel.
The dogs are in good condition, and are happy as you like to
see. Micky stops and gives one of them a stroke.

MICKY

Good dogs, do you like dogs?

TOMMY

Sure, yeah, I like dogs. I like
caravans more.

15 INT. TYRONE'S CAR

We open on Vinny's dog, now sitting in a car, it's breathing
heavily and doesn't look well, and Sol doesn't see the funny
side of the dog sitting next to him. The man driving is
called TYRONE: he's a white guy who thinks he's black. Vin
is also in the car.

TYRONE

I don't want him dribbling on my ,
seats man.

SOL

Give him another of those biscuits.
They shut him up.

VINNY

They give him wind.
Tyrone turns round to complain, and narrowly misses a car.

VINNY (CONT'D)

Hey watch the road! **** me, you
want this man to drive us Sol? Can
you drive mate?

SOL

No Vin, he can't tell the difference
between a steering wheel and a man
. on the moon. That' s why I got him.
Sol gives the dog another biscuit.

TYRONE

Don't you worry about me, jus worry
about the dog on my seats man!
Tyrone gets out of the car to put some petrol in.







(CONTINUED)





15 CONTINUED:


VINNY

Sol why's he talking like a black
man?

SOL

I don't know Vin. Oi Tyrone, Vin
wants to know why you talk like a
black man?

TYRONE

Roots and ting, seen?



Sol and Vin raise their eyebrows.

VINNY

Roots and what?

SOL

I don't know. You get that gun from
Boris?

VINNY

Got it. It wasn't exactly what I
was expecting, mind. Mean looking
bastard though, that's for sure.
Sol unzips a bag. Inside is a ridiculously powerful shotgun.

SOL

What's that?

VINNY

It's a shotgun Sol.

SOL

I t ' s a ****in anti-aircraft gun Vin.
What are you planning on shooting,
the angels out of the clouds? That's
gonna raise more than pulses.

VINNY

It will raise hell my old son.

SOL

I don't think I really want to see
· hell Vin. What's wrong with a normal
gun?

VINNY

The are psychological advantages to
a gun that looks like it can perforate
the moon.










(CONTINUED)





15 CONTINUED: ( ? )




Tyrone gets into the car, starts it up again and puts some
money in the car wash machine.

SOL

Can you get this ****in dog to stop
dribbling on me?
Vin pulls the dog back.

SOL (CONT'D)

I worry about you Vin, Jesus, talk
about overkill. One look at a crack
desperate brother and you could wave
a knife and fork around, and I am
sure they would lick the salt of
your scrotum.
The car wash starts.

VINNY

What the **** are you doing?

TYRONE

I never do a job unless I have a
clean car, I like to make my wheels
look crisp.

VINNY

Are you serious,? You' re a getaway
driver, you're not here to show your
****in car off. ··.
The machine starts. They do the windows up and that point
the dog lets out a fart. The water starts to hit the
windshield so they can't undo the windows. There is more an
atmosphere of disbelief than of concrete anger.

16 EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE




Gorgeous George fastens the caravan to the back of their
Land Rover and pulls away. They wave at Micky and he
reciprocates.

MICKY

He's a good dog. He'll get a little
homesick for a while but he'11 get
over it.
Tommy has a dog that looks distressed about leaving Micky
sitting next to him.




17 INT. CAR -- DAY


TOMMY

I don't know what all your fuss was
about. They aren't bad fellas.
Just then the wheels of the caravan come straight off and
the caravan is dragged until the car comes to a sudden stop.
The dog jumps out the window and goes bounding back to the
campsite.

18 EXT. CARAVAN -- DAY




They are looking at the damage. Of course i t ' s completely
useless now.

. GORGEOUS GEORGE

I don't think it's supposed to have
done that.

19 EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE -- DAY




The dog is behind Micky's legs happy to be back.

MICKY

The deal was you bought it how you
saw it.
Tommy goes to interrupt but he doesn't get a chance

MICKY (CONT'D)

Look, I have helped ya as much as I
am gonna help ya. You still got a
car and I suggest you use it before
you're not welcome anymore.
There is a silence for a while. The atmosphere has gone
more than frosty and a few more gypsies are hanging around.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

Hey...
Interrupted

MICKY

It was only a question of time before
you got some attention. Nobody brings
a fella the size of you unless they
are trying to say something without
talking.

TOMMY

Just give us my money and you can
keep your caravan.










(CONTINUED)





19 CONTINUED:





MICKY

Why the **** do I want a caravan
that's got no ****in wheels? I am
not going to do that.



Gorgeous George steps forward.

MICKY (CONT'D)

Where the **** do you think you're
going? You want to settle this with
a fight?

MUM

You'll do no such thing Michael.
You'll...

MICKY

Alright Mum, we shan't, we'll settle
it some other way, now don't get
upset.

MUM

I won't have you fighting, Micky.
Micky's Mum is getting upset and it's consequently upsetting
Micky.

MICKY

Okay mum okay. You need to sit down.
Micky calls to one of the lads standing by.

MICKY (CONT'D)

Darren look after Mum. Get her
sitting down.
We see Mum being led out by Darren; Micky looks genuinely
concerned for his mum. Pause as Micky waits for her to be
well gone.

MICKY (CONT'D)

I ' l l fight you for it.



Tommy looks at Gorgeous George. Gorgeous George raises his
eyebrows.

20 INT. HORSE BOX, PIKEY CAMP -- DAY

The two fighters start pacing. It looks a bit ridiculous,
Micky is dwarfed by comparison. Gorgeous George takes a
swipe: it was an .impressive punch, but Micky is a quick littl
bastard and sidesteps. Micky does nothing to retaliate; his
hands are still by his,side.







(CONTINUED)





20 CONTINUED:




Gorgeous George lunges out and grabs Micky by the throat and
groin, picks him up like a sack of spuds and throws him
against the car door. All eyes are on Micky for a second or
two, then he rises and appears little bothered by this, he
gets up brushes himself off and starts to pace again, hardly
even looking at the big man.

GORGEOUS GEORGE

You want to stay down my friend, I
promise you, you want to stay down.
Micky ignores this and continues to pace, the big fella grabs
him and puts him in a headlock and charges him into the stable
door. There is a terrible noise.




GORGEOUS GEORGE (CONT'D)

Now you ****ing stay down boy or you
won't be coming up next time.
It appears as though this is going to get messy and any humour
that might have been around has now evaporated. Micky raises
his head there is still no damage to speak of. All of a
sudden he starts jumping up and down like he's warming up,
throwing a few shadow punches, taking off his shirt. This
reveals a heavily tattooed and scarred torso, and underneath
these embellishments is a physique that warrants some respect.

GORGEOUS GEORGE (CONT'D)

This is sick. I am outta here.

MICKY -

You're not going anywhere my friend.
You stay until the job is done.
Micky starts pacing, and throwing out a couple of shadow
punches with his back to Gorgeous George, he still hasn't
really acknowledged his opponent. Gorgeous George moves in
for the coup de grace, Micky spins on his feet and catches
the big man under the jaw.

CUT TO BLACK

FADE IN: We see Gorgeous George lying on the floor with a
head the size of a water melon. There is blood streaming
out of every orifice in his head - he's in.big trouble. We
are in slow motion;- there's a lot of activity going on around
the body on the floor, their mouths are open but we can't
hear what they are saying, all we can hear is the voice over
given by Tommy.




TOMMY (V.O.)

This isn't good, if George doesn't
wake up in the next few minutes I

(MORE)





(CONTINUED)





20 CONTINUED: (2)





TOMMY ( V . O . ) (CONT'D)

have a problem. I am scared, really
****in scared. There is something
coldblooded and practical about what
these people are thinking. They
will pop me like a hot sausage if
George doesn't wake up. Why do they
want to go to the trouble of
explaining why a man died in a
campsite? These people don't exist
in society, you can't find them,
they live under their own laws and
ignore everybody else's. I am scared,
I am really ****in scared.




21 INT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE 1 -- DAY

We see Turkish with a somewhat serious expression on his
face he has his customary pint of milk on one side, he takes
a sip and "ohhhs" and "arrrs" for a while.

.TURKISH

So you're telling me he would have
run you through if Gorgeous hadn't
woken up?

TOMMY

No, his Mum stopped it. If his Mum
hadn't turned up, well, I ' d be pikey
****in sausages.

TURKISH

What were you thinking of? Why the
**** did you put Gorgeous George
into a bare knuckle boxing match two
days before he had to fight the
Bomber?

TOMMY

He was half his size.
He pantomimes a man that would reach his navel

TOMMY (CONT'D)

I didn't expect him to get hurt.

TURKISH

You put the man into a bare knuckle
boxing match.
He raises his voice













(CONTINUED)





21 CONTINUED:


TURKISH (CONT'D)

What the **** did you expect? A
grease down and a shiatsu?

TOMMY

Who took the jam out of your donut?

TURKISH

You took the ****in jam out of my
donut Tommy, you did.

TOMMY

You said get a good deal so...

TURKISH

Tell me the correlation between a
hospitalized boxer and a good deal?
Pause there is no correlation as Tommy knows.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

How are we going to explain to Brick
Top that his fight isn't going to .
happen?

TOMMY

We replace the fighter.

TURKISH

Oh what, and hope he doesn't notice?
And who the **** are we going to
replace him with?

TOMMY

John "The Gun?" Or "Mad Fist" Willy?

TURKISH

You're not exactly Mr Current Affairs,
are you Tommy? Mad Fist went mad,
and the "Gun" shot himself.

TOMMY

What about Clam Hand Tony?

TURKISH

Got his fingers caught in the till.
He's no good to anyone.

TOMMY

Why not?













(CONTINUED)





21 CONTINUED: (2)





TURKISH

A bare .knuckle boxer isn't a lot of
good without any ****in knuckles,
Tommy.
Pause for thought, then Turkish has the look of a man that
has come across a really bright idea.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Jesus!




TOMMY

What?




TURKISH

Let's use the ****in pikey.

22 INT. DOUG'S OFFICE -- DAY

Doug the Head and Franky Four Fingers are doing a deal.
Doug has a case open and is admiring a couple of stones.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

From Russia with love. You
interested? .

DOUG

I told you I was interested.
Pause. Franky's in a rush.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

I got stones to sell, fat to chew
and many different men to see about
many different dogs, so if I am not
rushing you, could you spit shine
the top of your smoothie and move a
little faster?

DOUG

Hold tight Franky, when in Rome.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

I am not in Rome Doug, I am in a
rush.
He looks at his watch

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS (CONT'D)

I gotta make the bookies.




DOUG

Bookies? What you betting on?







(CONTINUED)





22 CONTINUED:





FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Some guy called Bomber Harris.

DOUG

The unlicensed boxer? You know
something I don't?

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Maybe.
Doug raises his eyebrows




DOUG

You get busy Franky. Put a couple
of hundred down for me.

23 INT. PIKEY ENCAMPMENT -- DAY





TURKISH

What do you say?

MICKY

How much you going to pay us?

TOMMY

Ten k.

MICKY

I lose more than that running for
the bus. I ' l l do it for a caravan.

TURKISH

A what?

MICKY

No a caravan.

TOMMY

A what?

M ICKY

You are sitting in one if that makes
things easier. I want a top caravan.

TOMMY

It was us that wanted a caravan.-
Anyway what's wrong with this one?

MICKY

It's not for me, it ' s for me Mum.

24 INT. DOUG'S OFFICE -- MORNING

Doug is on the phone to Hands.




(CONTINUED)





24 CONTINUED:


DOUG

I overpaid Hands, I want you to
recognize charity when i t ' s offered.

HANDS

Do shut up, where is he now?

DOUG

I don't know Hands, I ' m not his
mother. But I am seeing him later.

HANDS

When?

DOUG

He wants cash so he's coming back
after he has been to a fight.
There is a serious expression of alarm on Hands's face - the
camera crashes in.

HANDS

What do you mean a fight, you mean a
boxing match? Is there gambling
involved?

DOUG

I t ' s a boxing match Hands.
Hands isn't happy.

HANDS

Did he have a case with him?

DOUG

Yes.

HANDS

And he's gone gambling? That's Franky
"I have a problem with gambling"
****in Four Fingers, you are talking
about Doug.

DOUG

What am I, telepathic?

HANDS

Franky is good at buying stones Doug
but he's a ****in liability when it
comes to gambling. That has cost
me. So in turn rit' s cost him. He
gets distracted and chopping off a
digit seems to focus his attention.







(CONTINUED)





24 CONTINUED: ( 2 )





DOUG

How much can he lose?
Hands pulls a face like "what kind of a stupid question is
that?" He them starts to shout

HANDS

I ' l l not forgive you Doug, I am coming
over, get me that car.
The phone is slammed down.




CUT TO:


25 EXT. AIRPLANE --




We see the undercarriage of Concorde taking off.

26 INT. BRICK TOP'S PUB --




Tommy and Turkish walk into a pub and approach the BARMAN.
They reach the bar. . .

TURKISH

We are here to see Brick Top.
The barman looks them up and down a bit. He's not doing
anything.

BARMAN

I am very busy at the moment.

TURKISH ·

I am not asking you to break sweat,
. I am asking you to call Brick Top.

BARMAN

Who?

TURKISH

Brick Top.

BARMAN

Never heard of him.

. ... : TURKISH :

Well make a call and see if someone
else has. Say it's Turkish.
The barman looks bothered by the fact he has to move but
wanders off. Turkish looks at the pool table.










(CONTINUED)





26 CONTINUED:


TURKISH (CONT'D)

You know what he's done to people on
that pool table?
They both give the table an eyeball.




TOMMY

What, potted more balls than any
other player? What else can you do
to people on a pool table?

TURKISH

Quite a ****in lot if you nail 'em
to it.



TWO HEAVY LOOKING FELLAS appear out of the woodwork.

HEAVY FELLA

You Turkish?

TURKISH

Yup. -

HEAVY FELLA

Follow me.
The heavy fella opens up the bar and beckons Turkish and
Tommy through. They go through another door and the corridor
turns into a mass of dogs barking, snarling 'and whining in
cages. The mood is sinister..they reach another door, they
open up and we are introduced to a dog fight. A load of
HEAVY GEEZERS are commenting on the performance of the dogs,
one dog is being carried out by a single leg, it's covered
in blood. Another dog is left in the ring, it too is covered
in blood but it's survived.

TURKISH

They can charm the paint off walls
these fellas.

27 INT. BACK OF PUB - DOG FIGHT -- NIGHT

A circle of blunt faces are exchanging money with one another
A few faces turn round to examine Tommy and Turkish, they
frown slightly but carry on about their business once they
see they are accompanied by the muscle.
The heavy walks over to Brick Top. The heavy taps him on
the shoulder and whispers. He acknowledges, and gives his
drink to the heavy. He walks over. There is a cage next to
Brick Top which has a pit bull in, and Brick Top who is
carrying a cane pokes it through the cage doors. The dog
snarls back.







(CONTINUED)





27 CONTINUED:


BRICK TOP

Look mean now you hairy ****er won't
ya?
He looks at the appalled faces of Turkish and Tommy.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

****s itself when you put it in the
ring, but poke .it with a stick and
watch his bollocks grow. You like a
dog fight, Turkish?

TURKISH

I like my dog to growl at the post
man.

BRICK TOP

Gorgeous ready for tonight?

TURKISH

We don'c have a Gorgeous anymore.
Brick Top turns round and indicates that he would like the
noise around him to drop. It does marginally.

BRICK TOP

You're going to have to repeat that.

TURKISH

We have lost Gorgeous George.
Brick Top turns round again at the already subdued crowd, he
doesn't raise his voice but the crowd reacts.

BRICK TOP

I said keep the noise down.. . .
A tangible silence between the men reflects Brick Top's
authority.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Well, where did you lose him? He
isn't a set of ****in car keys is
he? And it's not as though he is
incon****inspicuous is it?

TURKISH

I am not backing out.

BRICK TOP

You can bet your bollocks to a barn
dance you're not backing out.










(CONTINUED)





27 CONTINUED: .(2)





TOMMY

We are changing the fighter.
Brick Top wasn't expecting anything out of Tommy.




BRICK TOP

Oh **** me your lady friend has got
a voice. And who might you be
changing him to, sweetheart?

TURKISH

You won't know him.
Pause: a look of you're kidding comes over his face.




BRICK TOP

Are you taking the ****?

TURKISH

No, there was an accident.

BRICK TOP

I'll show you a ****in accident.

TURKISH

You've still got your fight.

BRICK TOP

No, I lose all bets at the bookies.
You can't change fighters at the
last minute, so no, I don't have my
fight do I, you ****in prat!

TOMMY

You could take bets at the fight.

BRICK TOP

Put a lead on her Turkish, Before
she gets bitten.
Pause

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Make sure your man goes down in the
fourth. You're on thin ****in ice
my pedigree chums and I'll be there
if it breaks.

28 EXT. BOOKIES

The black guys pull up in'Tyrone's car outside the bookies
Vin is playing with the dog in the back.










(CONTINUED)





28 CONTINUED:


SOL

I am not happy about that dog Vin,
you can't bring a dog on a job.

VINNY

You can't leave him on his own, not
to begin with, he gets homesick.

SOL

Homesick, for ****s sake.

VINNY

He does. If he gets the chance he
runs back to the gypsies' campsite.

SOL

Ohh shut up, how can he find it?

VINNY

I don't know Sol, I am not a dog.
Ask him. It' s like he's got a ****in
homing beacon. Give him the chance
and he's off.

SOL

You're going soft Vin? Here pass me
a sandwich.
Vin throws a sandwich to Sol but the dog catches it whilst
i t ' s in flight and swallows it in one gulp.

SOL (CONT'D)

Jessssus, he didn't even chew it.
The car has stopped.

VINNY

What have you stopped here for?
What's wrong with that space?

TYRONE

It's too tight.

VINNY

What are you talking about, tight?
You could land a jumbo ****in jet in
there.

SOL

Leave him alone, he's a natural.
Tyrone gets a little over-excited with the accelerator and
reverses with a crashing sound into the rear of the van behin
them (ie it:s parked back to back with them).




(CONTINUED)





28 CONTINUED: ( 2 )





VINNY

A natural ****in idiot. Tyrone,
what have you done?

TYRONE

Look, you hassle me, see what happens.
Tyrone makes to move the van forward again.

VINNY

Well don't move it now, otherwise
people will see the damage. What
did you do that for? ^

TYRONE

I didn't see it there.

VINNY

Eh? It's a four ton truck. It' s
not as though i t ' s a ferret ****in a
flea is it?

TYRONE

It was at a funny angle.
Vin is confused as to this last statement.

VINNY

Funny angle? It was behind you
Tyrone, whenever you reverse things
come from behind you. I am not happy
Sol.
- The dog starts whining.

VINNY (CONT'D)

Give him something to shut him up.



Sol throws a plastic squeaky dog ball that was in the front.
The dog grabs in and swallows it in one gulp. The brothers
look on in shock.

SOL

He can't swallow a whole ball.

TYRONE

He swallowed it.
The dog looks up having completed the task. Vin who looks
quite alarmed holds the dog by the ribs and squeezes, there
is a squeak.




29 EXT. AIRPORT. --

Doug and Alex are waiting to pick- up Hands.

DOUG

Did you get Hands that car?

ALEX

I got him one like it.
Doug is in shock.

DOUG

What do you mean one like it?

ALEX

I got him the Volante.

DOUG

What did I say? What exactly did I
say?

ALEX

You said get him the Vantage.

DOUG

That's right, I clearly said get him
the Vantage. So why did you get the
Volante? ;

ALEX

Because they look the same.

DOUG

The Septuagint scholars mistranslated
the Hebrew word for "young woman" in
to the Greek word for "virgin",
because they thought they looked the
same, coming up with the prophecy
"behold a virgin shall conceive and
bear a son". But there is a world
of difference between a virgin and a
young woman like there is between a
Volante and a ****in Vantage.
'.Pause: she thinks about this.

ALEX

Are you saying that the fact that
your cousin Hands is driving a Valiant
instead of a Vantage is a profound a
mistake as a whole religion?

DOUG

Yes I ****in am!

(MORE)





(CONTINUED)





29 CONTINUED ·





DOUG (CONT'D)

Cars are his religion. He can drive
a Valiant in the States but I can't
drive a Vantage because they won't
tolerate the emissions. Well, it's
too late now, that's Concorde.

SHOT OF CONCORDE'S WHEELS TOUCHING DOWN


30 EXT. AIRPORT -- DAY




Hands and his sidekick Rosebud are coming out of the sliding
glass doors towards Doug who's now standing by the car with
his arms crossed. Hands is quite clearly looking for a car.

DOUG

How about a hug for your old cousin
Doug?
He stops looking for his car and focuses on Doug.

· HANDS

**** off you fat bald bastard - and
where's my car?

31 EXT. BOOKIES

The black guys are sitting in the car still. The occasional
squeak comes from the dog.

VINNY

How am I going to get it out?

SOL

He'll probably cough it up.

VINNY

Do you think he'll be alright?
Sol shrugs.

SOL

Hope not.

TYRONE

What are we waiting for?

SOL

We are waiting for a man carrying a
case.

(


TYRONE

Why?







(CONTINUED)





31 CONTINUED:


SOL

Because the deal is that we give the
Russian the case and we keep the
money.
He rubs his fingers symbolically together




TYRONE

What's in the case?
Sol turns round to talk to Tyrone.

SOL

****in 'ell Tyrone you ask a lot of
questions. You concentrate on the
driving okay?
He turns back just as a MAN is stepping into the bookies: he
is carrying a case.

SOL (CONT'D)

****, was that him?

.' VINNY

Don't ask me, you're the one supposed
to keep an eye on it. How many
fingers did he have?

SOL

Are you serious? I am sorry but I
couldn't get the binoculars out in
time.

VINNY

Well let's not stand on ceremony,
let's start the show.
They get out of the van and go up to the bookies, leaving
Tyrone in the van. There's a double set of glass doors.
Sol pushes them open, and Vinny walks in first, while Sol
hangs back with the shotgun.

32 INT. BOOKIES -- DAY

Inside is the MAN with the case, busy filling in a slip, and
TWO CLERKS behind the betting counter. Vinny doesn't mince
around and goes straight to the counter, where the HEAD CLERK
PAULINE, comes up to help.

PAULINE

Yes sir, how can I help?













(CONTINUED)





32 CONTINUED:





VINNY

You can start by giving me all your
money.




PAULINE

Does Sir know who this bookies belongs
to?

VINNY

It. belongs to me now.
Vinny then leans over the counter to get menacing. Pauline
looks more than a little concerned

VINNY (CONT'D)

If you know what's good for...
He is cut short, as Pauline triggers a button under the
counter and a security screen comes flying up at a very rapid
rate of knots protecting all the counters. This has the
unfortunate consequence of taking Vinny with it. Poor Vin
is shot straight to the ceiling, all we can see is half a
body and his desperately searching for ground legs. Needless
to say this leaves Sol in a bit of a bewildered state. He's
looking the wrong way at the critical moment and is left
wondering what happened, not having seen Vince impaled on
the ceiling. Sol extracts the enormous shotgun.




SOL

Vi nce ? Vince??
He spins round looking for his colleague. A muffled noise
tells him to look up. ,

SOL (CONT'D) .

What are you doing Vince? And what
the **** are you doing up there?
A few groans emanate from the other side of the counter.
Sol panics some more, and decides that emergency action is
called for. .

SOL (CONT'D)

I have got your man out here. If
you don't put down the screen I'll
blow his ****ing head off! You hear
me?

PAULINE ( O . S . )

I don't care, you can do what you
like he's not related to me.

SOL

You think you can try me?




(CONTINUED)





32 CONTINUED: (2.)




Sol raises the gun and fires into the side .of- the wall.
There's an enormous explosion and a clear hole is made in
the side of the wall. The powerful kick from the gun also
makes Sol momentarily airborne.




33 EXT. BLACK GUYS' VAN -- DAY




We see Tyrone grimace at the sound of the shotgun.

34 INT. BOOKIES -- DAY




Sol pulls himself together and marches up to the hole in the
wall that the shot created and pokes the gun through.

SOL

Drop the screen now! You just seen
what it did to this wall so think
what it could do to you.
Pauline knows she has lost this one and looks genuinely
scared.

PAULINE

(to the other clerk)
. Do it. . . . I said do it.
The screen comes down with a thud. This means that Vince
comes down with just as serious a thud. He lets out another
groan.

SOL

How you doing Vince?
A weakened voice retorts.

VINNY

How do I look like I am doing you
****ing idiot? I would be doing a
lot better if you would stop using
my name.
Consoled that his colleague is not dead it's back to business
for Sol. He raises the gun and pulls his fiercest face.

SOL

Now fill this bag. . . ' . - . -

PAULINE

All bets are off.

SOL

I am not here to make a ****in bet.










(CONTINUED)





34 CONTINUED:





PAULINE

All bets are off.

SOL

Are you ****in stupid? I don't care
if the ****in bets are off. I want...

PAULINE

If all bets are off then there can't
be any money, can there?
There is a pause. Sol knows he's ****ed. She points to a
black board that clearly states "ALL BETS ARE OFF"

SOL

I ain't buying that.

PAULINE

I ain't ****in selling it, it's a
fact! . ''.
Pause

SOL

Well, what have you got?

PAULINE

Nothing, I mean we got a few coins
but no notes.

VINNY

Can we just get out of here please.
I am not feeling too funny.
Sol's temper does have a limit.

SOL

Well I am not feeling too ****ing
funny myself, let me tell you!
Sol points at the man on the floor who is carrying the case.

SOL (CONT'D)

Let me see your hands.
The man holds his hands up. He has got a perfect set of
five fingers on both hands. Sol puts his head in his hands.
Pauline and the other clerk put two bags full of coins on
the counter. Sol picks them up and frowns, he's not happy
with a bag full of change. He puts his gun down and starts
to rifle through the bag. Pauline can see Vinny's pistol on
the counter, dropped after his encounter with the screen.










(CONTINUED)





34 CONTINUED: (2.)





SOL (CONT.'D)

Copper coins? What do you mean copper
****in coins?
Pauline sees her opportunity and grabs the pistol. Sol .goes
for it too, but he's beaten to it. Sol ducks, pulling Vince
with him, Pauline lets out a series of shots in their
direction, Sol counter blasts over the top of the counter.
The security screen comes flying back up.

VINNY .

Get me out of here now Sol.
Vinny does sound convincingly desperate.

SOL

We're going Vin.
He grabs the bag of copper coins, grabs Vince and marches
towards the double'doors. They open the first set and then
they try to open the second. They push the door nothing
happens. There is no going back. Sol starts to kick the
glass door, but it doesn't budge. With panic rising swiftly,
Sol doesn't **** around he takes aim with the handgun and
fires, the bullet shatters the glass but it doesn't break
through, and the bullet now ricochets off both glass doors
shattering bullet-proof glass all around them. Vinny's panic
filled eyes attempt to follow its trajectory. Sol is unaware
of the ricochet and before Vin has time to warn him, Sol
fires another bullet. Now he observes the problem and waits
for the inevitable. The bullet tears through the bag of
coins, which then empties its contents at Vin's and Sol's
feet. Eventually the bullet hits poor Vince in the thigh.
Sol sinks to the floor, he has given up. Amongst the yells
emanating from Vince we can hear Sol's pathetic and desperate
whimpering.




SOL (CONT'D)

No security, eh?
At that point Tyrone appears and pushes the door open. The
door was open the whole time - only Sol was pushing it the

,, · '

wrong way.

TYRONE

What the **** are you two doing?
They stumble out into the street. Vinny is in big trouble.
They throw him into the van. Just as Sol gets into the back,
we hear kicking noises on metal from the van behind. Tyrone
pulls out. And the rear doors of the van behind them fly
open. Franky Four Fingers appears from the back of this ·
van. He was locked in due to the fact that the black guys'
van was blocking his exit.




(CONTINUED)





34 CONTINUED: (3.)





SOL

Tyrone get us outta here.
Tyrone takes an interest in the man from the van (ie Franky)
seeing that he's carrying a case and the case is connected
to his wrist.

SOL (CONT'D)

I said, get us outta here Tyrone!

35 EXT. CAESARS PALACE STREATHAM




The Aston Martin comes to a screeching halt outside. Doug
is quite pale from the ride. Hands looks almost satisfied
with the car.

HANDS

...-.! gotta say it's not bad.
He then looks at the sign of the rundown venue, his eyes
squint incredulously.

HANDS (CONT'D)

Caesar's Palace?

36 INT. CAESARS PALACE STREATHAM

Doug approaches the entrance.

DOORMAN

Private night tonight chaps.
Doug passes him a ticket. The doorman steps to the side.
They continue to walk past several other doorman who all
inspect the ticket.

HANDS

Jesus are we ever going to get in
there?

DOUG

You gotta understand that this isn't
exactly Vegas and it's not exactly
legal.

HANDS

I am not looking for Vegas, Doug, I
am looking for Franky Four Fingers.

DOUG

Well he said he was going to be here.













(CONTINUED)





36 CONTINUED: .


HANDS

If there's gambling involved, he'll
be here.
They get nudged aside by an entourage of men coming through.

HANDS (CONT'D)

Hello, who's your man?
Hands points out Brick Top who is being crowded by minders.

DOUG

Horrible bastard, it's his fight,
made all his money in.



He touches the side of his nose and inhales.

HANDS

Original.

DOUG

So he doesn't need to do this, but
he's got dark taste for fights and
blood, he wants to impress London's
criminal royalty..
He points out JACK "THE ALL SEEING EYE" and SALT PETER:
they are surrounded by heavies.

DOUG (CONT'D)

..with a tip on when who hits the
floor. Any man with veins in his
brains knows Brick Top knows the
answer.
Cut back to Jack and Salt Pete.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Those boys make Brick top look like
a skirt clinging thumb sucker. And
i f y o u p l a y wi t h f i r e . . . ·
Cut to a few still shots of atrocities committed by the men
in question. ,




.: CUT TO: TURKISH & MICKY


TURKISH

So Michael, you got it clear? It's
the fourth round. I'll tap you anyway
to let you know when to go down.










(CONTINUED)





36 CONTINUED: ( 2 )





MICKY

Just make sure the man doesn't kill
me before the ****in fourth.

CUT TO:BRICK TOP & ERROL


:








BRICK TOP

As long as we keep them happy.
Brick Top nods at Jack and Salt Peter, they nod back.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Make sure they are kept sweet. The
last thing I want is them ****in
moaning.

37 INT. BOXING RING -- NIGHT


REF .'·

In the blue corner I have the young
and only unchallenged cutthroat of
calamity, meaner than Beelzebub's
conscience cleaner. Give it up for
the bone crunching one punch machine
gun -- Micky.
A murky sound of displeasure emanates round the arena. The
audience don't know who he is and don't care either.

R EF (CONT'D)

And in the other corner a man that
needs no introduction to destruction,
the solo warrior of Walthamstow,
sometimes known as Buckshot Peter,
or sometimes known as the dictator .
to the devastator, he put the ' e ' in
eradicate, the ' o ' in obliterate and
the ' a 1 in annihilate, you know this
monster of a monster, the sinister
prime minister.. . . "Bomber the
"mad man" Harris"!
The audience goes mad. It's hard to tell whether it's out
of affectionate enthusiasm or just enthusiasm.

R EF (CONT'D)

Now I want a good dirty fight lads,
So now it's that time again.. . .
Let's. . . . Get ready to
rrrrrrummmmmble.
The two come out to fight. Bomber Harris lifts his monster
hands to do damage. They pace each other for a second.
Then Micky lets one go. <




( CONTIN UED)





37 CONTINUED:

It hits Bomber Harris square on the jaw this has the effect
of forcing blood out of his ears the man is positively out
cold. We crashtrack into various characters' reactions:
Brick Top, Turkish and Tommy etc. All are in shock. The
ref (who is obviously paid off as well) tries to resuscitate
Harris/ but it's not happening, he catches a look of
desperation from one of the villains and is eventually left
with little choice but to hold Micky's hand up. We cut to
the nasty looking characters that we saw before they have
approached with their heavies, and they are obviously not
satisfied. .

SALT PETER

Tha-nks for the tip, Brick top.

JACK THE ALL SEEING EYE

I have just said goodbye to forty
large because of you, what's the
crack?

:


38 EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BOOKIES -- DAY




(NB: the first half of this scene happens about midway scene
28 - as Tyrone parks the van )
We cut back to Frankie Four Fingers getting out of his van.
He takes a quick look around and enters the back of his van.
There he raises the spare tire and picks up his gun, he
examines it and places it in his trouser front. He then
turns to exit. At which point there is a loud smash and
Franky is knocked backwards (as Tyrone hits his van).

WE CUT TO BLACK. '


WE FADE UP

(Time-wise, we're now at the end of scene 34)
Frankie wakes up. He has a trickle of blood dripping down
the back of his neck, he looks at his watch and panics. He
kicks the doors a couple of times - nothing happens, but on
the third kick the doors spring open. Franky brushes himself
off and makes his way to the bookies.

39 EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BOOKIES --DAY




We cut to Tyrone. Tyrone clocks the case attached to Franky'
wrist. Gets out and slams the end of the gun across Franky
Four Fingers' head. He falls to the ground. Tyrone tries
to take the case off him but i t ' s handcuffed to his wrist.
So he has little choice but to pick him up and throw him in
to the back of the car with the other two.




40 INT. PAWN BROKERS -- DAY

We cut to the black guys trying to open the case. They have
Franky's hand up on a desk and are fiddling with the handcuff,
whatever they are trying to break in with snaps off. Vinny
is frustrated and illustrates his dissatisfaction.

SOL

Where ' s the Russian?

VINNY

He should be here in a minute. Well
get him to open it.
Vinny turns to Franky who has tape over his eyes.

VINNY (CONT'D)

Oi, you, Four Fingers, how are we
going to get into your case?

FRANKY THREE FINGERS

If you take the tape off my eyes ·
I Ml tell you.

SOL

What do you need the tape off your
eyes for? You talk out of them?

· VINNY

Just tell us the combination.

FRANKY THREE FINGERS

I can't remember the combination I
can only do it if I see it .
Pause

VINNY

You look at us and it's good night.
Vinny takes it off. Franky blinks at the revelation of light.
And gets busy opening the case .

SOL

Come on.
He opens it - and it's got about a grand inside.

VINNY

And?

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

And here's the money.













(CONTINUED)





40 CONTINUED: .





VINNY

I don't believe this. Why are you
carrying round a case with this little
in it? . .



Vin turns to Sol and Tyrone who is leaning on the big shotgun
At which point Franky pulls out the gun from the secret
compartment in the case.

FRANKY FOUR FINGERS

Now be a bunch of good fellas and
lie down on the floor.



Tyrone goes for the big gun and Franky pulls the trigger.
Nothing happens other than a big click, there is silence for
a long second and the black guys open their tightly shut
eyes. :




TYRONE

Whoops.
Tyrone also looks into the case and sees the. open secret
compartment: this also reveals the stone.

TYRONE (CONT'D)

Hello what have we got here?

41 EXT. PAWN BROKERS

Boris is admiring the outside of the shop. He walks in.

42 INT. PAWN BROKERS

Franky is tied up on a stool, in front of him is the case
and it's open. Boris waves the black guys to come into the
corridor so they can talk without being heard.

BORIS

What are you doing with him?

SOL

The case was attached to his body.

BORIS

So why didn't you chop it off?
Sol looks horrified by the thought.

VINNY

Err, because we didn't. Now Boris
we have or rather you have a problem.

BORIS

What?




(CONTINUED)





42 CONTINUED:


. SOL

There wasn't any money there. v



Boris pulls out a wad of notes

BORIS

There's ten grand.

VINNY

Keep it. We want this, or at least
half of this.

<


,

Vin holds up the stone: the atmosphere changes.

BORIS

What was in the case was mine, what
was in the bookies was yours, ok
there wasn't much but, here's ten
large to help the situation.

VINNY

I am afraid it's too late for that
Boris. -
He holds up the diamond. Boris1 eyes follow him as he walks
back into the room where Franky is and puts the diamond back
into the case while he's talking and changes the combination.

VINNY (CONT'D)

We want half and that's because we
are being generous. We could by
rights keep the whole ****in stone.
Boris grimaces and pulls out a gun from god knows where, and
within a second shoots poor Franky in the face. Franky's
body disappears off the stool that he was sitting on. The
black guys are stunned into silence.

BORIS

You ****in idiots. He couldn't know
who I am. Now open the case and
give me.the stone.
The black guys are left with their mouths open, everything
just changed gear and they weren't expecting that.

BORIS (CONT'D)

Who's next? You have the ten grand
now give me the stone.
The pause continues. Boris lets a shot off that tears
worryingly close to Sol's head.







(CONTINUED)





42 CONTINUED: (2.)





SOL

The only man that knows the
combination you just shot.
Boris appears little bothered by this and whips out a four
foot machete that he was concealing about his person. He
pulls the case towards him and brings the machete down with
full force. We can tell by the expression on Tyrone's face
that it must have been some part of Franky's anatomy.
Pointing to the ground:

BORIS

He's your problem now. You can keep
the" ten grand along with the body,
but if I see you again...well look
at him.
He points to Franky. While he is saying this he bends down
and picks up the case from the floor and wraps the severed
arm in newspaper. He then walks out of the shop casual as
you like.

43 EXT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE LONDON -- MORNING




Turkish pulls up outside his arcade and has a look around:
all seems to be clear.

TURKISH

I ain't going in the front.

TOMMY

I don't think it's a good idea you
going in at all.
The car surges off round the back.

TURKISH

Unless you are going to
transcendentally extract the passports
and cash from out of a steel safe, I
can't see any other way of getting
them. Keep your eyes peeled.
Turkish has another look around the back

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Well I can't see anyone. After I
have got in go round the front and
call me if you see anything.

44 INT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE

Turkish lets himself in and walks through. Everything seems
to be fine. ·




(CONTINUED)





44 CONTINUED:




He walks into his office, has a quick look around and makes
his way to the safe under the floor. He decides to put the
kettle on, does so, and his attention is caught by something,
he looks at the cups on the side and sees that one is waiting
to be made. He stands back and looks at the cupboards he
sees that they are all open. Then he sees that the kettle
is already boiled.




ERROL

Oink, oink. Where do you keep the
sugar?

TURKISH

**** you scared the life outta me.

JOHN

You wait till you see what the pigs
do to you.

TURKISH

What brings you two here, run out of
pants to sniff?

ERROL

That's very good Turkish.

JOHN

Very cool Turkish.

TURKISH

Well what do you want?

EROL

I want two sugars in my tea. What
do you want John?

JOHN

I want to see him lying cold and
still, but we aren't here for what
we want are we Errol?
Errol shakes his head slowly. Turkish's phone rings. They
let it ring for a while.

ERROL

Well aren't you going to answer it?
Turkish does.

45 EXT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE LONDON -- MORNING

Tommy on the phone.










(CONTINUED)





45 CONTINUED:


TOMMY

Brick Top's just landed, he's walking
in the front, I would move it if I
were you Turkish...
Turkish puts down the phone

ERROL

What's happening with the tea?

TURKISH

Help yourself. You have to every
thing else.




ERROL

That sounds like hostility, doesn't
it John?

JOHN

Oh we don't like hostility do we
.Errol?

EROL

No John we don't, but I am sure he
could be pacified, what do you think
John? Here you hold his arms, and
I ' l l hold his legs.
In walks Brick Top before the boys have had a chance to get
a grip.

TURKISH

Brick Top.

BR,ICK TOP

Turkish. Got the kettle on?
Turkish adapts to his new circumstances.

TURKISH

You want sugar?

BRICK TOP

No thank you Turkish, I am sweet
enough.

TURKISH

If I turn my back am I going to get
a hole through it?

BRICK TOP

Don't be silly Turkish, if I wanted
you dead would I be talking?. . .

(MORE)





(CONTINUED)





45 CONTINUED: (2)





BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Carry on. You've provided me with a
problem, which you gonna have to
remedy. I gotta bare knuckle fight
in a couple of days. I want to use
the pikey.




TURKISH

Of course.

BRICK TOP

Of course ****in of course, I wasn't
asking I was telling. But this time
I do want him to go down in the
fourth. And I do mean it this time.
Pause

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Now I know you,came back. to. open
your safe, so now you can open it. .
There is nothing Turkish can do.

46 EXT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE

Brick Top exits with Errol and John and grimaces with.the
light. He's holding the contents of Turkish's safe.

BRICK TOP

He's been a busy little bastard that
Turkish.

ERROL

I think you have let him get away
with enough all ready gov.
Brick Top looks round with some concern.

BRICK TOP

It can get you into a lot of trouble
thinking Errol, I shouldn't do so
much of it. ·
Pause as Errol wants the ground to swallow him up.




BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Well that takes care of one little
piggy, now find me the silly sods
that blagged the bookies. Find em
today.




FADE OUT:








(CONTINUED)





46 CONTINUED:





FADE TO BLACK:





FADE IN:





47 EXT. PORTACABIN




The film stock is 1970s, and things seem more dated. This
is confirmed by the dress of our man TONY. Tony is standing
outside a scrap metal yard and he is kicking the door of a
portacabin. ..

TONY

Open up Charlie.

CHARLIE

**** off. The only thing I'11 open
up is you.

TONY

I t ' s lucky you .got me Charlie, it
could have been one of the other
lads, and then think how much trouble
you' d be in.

CHARLIE

You come through that door and you'll
be going out prostrate.

TONY

It doesn't belong to you Charlie.
He kicks open the door. CHARLIE is standing behind his desk
holding a pistol directly at Tony. On the table is a bag of
what we must believe is coke, it's open, and Charlie has it
all over his nose. .

TONY (CONT'D)

You silly ****er, you can't go running
off with other people's gear. How
much you put up your nose?
Charlie opens up, he fires four shots straight into Tony who
buckles and falls to the floor. Tony seems only shaken and
he holds his hands out to inspect them, he's bleeding.

TONY (CONT'D)

Oh you silly ****.
Tony stands and walks towards Charlie. Charlie is
understandably shocked and fires another. It goes straight
through Tony and we see the blood hit the wall behind.

CHARLIE

Go down-boy, go down.




(CONTINUED)





47 CONTINUED:

Tony keeps going for him. Charlie raises the gun and points
it at Tony's face and fires the last shot. The bullet goes
straight into his mouth but it went in at an angle and it
exits his cheek. Tony is standing there with six. bullet
holes in him and bleeding all over the carpet. As he talks
blood courses its way down his front and a strong lisp is
frustrating the words.

TONY

Ohh you'f in twouble nowf.



Tony slowly extracts a short sword from behind him. Fear
has set into Charlie's face and has rendered him useless.




FADE IN:


48 INT. VANTAGE ·

The car comes to a halt again.

HANDS

They, have only made forty this year.
You could find the maker of this
engine's signature on the engine.
But you can't find me Franky.

DOUG

No it's true. I can't find'him, but
I know a man that can.
Cut to a shot of Hands encouraging him to continue.

DOUG (CONT'D)

Tony. Bullet Tooth Tony. He'll
find Franky for you.

HANDS

Who's he?
Susi interrupts.

SUSI

·What is he?' Would be a more
appropriate question.
Doug frowns at Susi, but continues.

DOUG

He's the best chance you have of
finding Franky.













(CONTINUED)





' ' '


.


48 CONTINUED: .


SUSI

He has upset every bad boy in town,
at some point, or another but nobody's
got the nuts to knock him off because
they aren't sure whether you can
kill the bastard.

HANDS

You really think he can find him?

SUSI

He'll find you Moses and the burning
bush if you pay him to.




HANDS

Ok so let's get hold of him.

DOUG

Firstly you gotta understand he's a
little strange. .

HANDS

.He could swing from trees wearing
rubber dresses as far as I am
concerned, all as I care about is
whether he can find Franky.

4


49 INT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE --DAY




Turkish and Tommy pull up outside the pikey camp. Micky's
Mum is sitting in her chair surrounded by kids.

MUM

They're very nice Tommy. Thank you.
Tommy has produced a bunch of flowers from somewhere. Turkish
finds this a great surprise.

TURKISH

Where did they come from? You're a
snake in the grass Tommy.

MUM

You looking for Micky?

TURKISH

'Do you know where I can find him?

MUM

Yes.
Pause ·










(CONTINUED)





49 CONTINUED:





TURKISH

Well would you like to share that
information with me Ms O'Neill?

MUM

I don't want you getting my boy in
to any trouble you hear me? He's my
only boy and he's a good boy.

M UM (CONT'D)

He's coursing, he's a couple of fields
that way.
Pause

TOMMY

What's coursing?

50 INT. CAR ·





TURKISH

Hare coursing. The gypsies can't
get enough of it.

TOMMY

What the ****'s a hare?

TURKISH

I t ' s a big rabbit.

TOMMY

Why don't they call em big rabbits
then?

TURKISH

Because they call em hares.
Tommy shrugs.




TOMMY

So what's coursing?

TURKISH

They set two lurchers, they are dogs
before you ask, on a hare, that's
the big rabbit. And the hare has to
outrun the dogs.

TOMMY

What happens if he doesn't?

TURKISH

Well the big rabbit gets ****ed
doesn't it?




(CONTINUED)





50 CONTINUED:

Tommy looks a taken aback by this statement.

TOMMY

Come on, what, proper ****ed?

TURKISH

Yeah before the Germans get there
Tommy. How can a dog **** a
rabbit?...eh? If eats the bastard.




51 EXT. SEEDY STREET

Errol is curb crawling down a particularly seedy street in a
car with John. They come to a halt, at the feet of some
touter.

ERROL

Excuse me mate, d'ya know Mullet?
The man looks a little 'further down the street. Errol follow
his eyes, squints and seems to focus on something.

ERROL (CONT'D)

Cheers pal.
Errol puts on the gas a little-, the car surges forward and
slows at the feet of Mullet - seedy looking character with
big ears and a moody haircut, who smokes fat cheap cigars
and wears his top shirt button fastened.

MULLET

Errol, John. Alright chaps? How's
the gov'nor?

ERROL

Very well Mullet, I am sure he'll be
flattered you inquired.

MULLET

Yeah let him know that I asked.

JOHN

We'll be sure to. Now come on Mullet
what have you got for us about the
gov'nor's bookies?

MULLET

I did find something out as it
happens, I knew a driver who was
grafting that day.

ERROL

Don't stop with the foreplay.







(CONTINUED)





51 CONTINUED:





MULLET

White geezer, bit of a bounty.

EROL

Eh?

MULLET

Bounty, black on the outside, white
on the inside.

JOHN

Go on.

MULLET

He was doing a job for a couple of
brothers in Smith Street. I think
it was a pawn shop.

JOHN

Porn as in filthy dirty?
i

MULLET

Pawn as in I have run out of money
and here's my wedding ring.

ERROL

Good boy Mullet.

52 EXT. FIELD

Turkish and Tommy have found Micky who is in the middle of a
field and is betting on with various dodgy characters.

TURKISH

Well do you want to do it?

MICKY

That depends.

TURKISH

On what?

MICKY

On you buying this caravan.
He pulls out a catalogue on fancy caravans and points to the
picture of the Rolls Royce of caravans.

TURKISH

That's not the same caravan.

MICKY

This isn't the same fight.







(CONTINUED)





60.





52 CONTINUED: _ -


TURKISH

I t ' s twice the ****in size of the
last one.

MICKY

The fight is twice the size. And my
mum still needs a new caravan.




TURKISH

Micky you are lucky we aren't worm
food after your performance, I think
buying a tart's mobile palace is a
little ****in rich.



There is a pause while Micky frowns. Turkish looks a little
sheepish.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

I didn't mean that your mum was a
tart. I just meant...

MICKY

Save your breath for cooling your
porridge. I'll bet you for it.

TURKISH

What like Tommy did last time? Do
me a favour?

MICKY

I ' l l do you a favour, you have first ,
bet. If I win I get the caravan, if
I lose I'l l do the fight for free.
Turkish considers this, uneasily. He looks at the dogs they
look keen and fit.

TURKISH

Okay, I reckon the hare gets caught.
But he's in. Gypsy Romany Music starts. Cut to slow motion,
CU of dogs' enthusiasm, CU of pikeys and their fingers
skillfully dealing in money, inhaling cigarettes, etc.

53 INT. CAR --

Slow motion. Errol and John are looking for Tyrone.

54 EXT. FIELD

Slow motion. Cut back to the dogs. The chase starts.




55 INT. CAR




Slow, motion. They see Tyrone, Tyrone starts to run.

56 EXT . FIE LD




Slow motion. The hare sees the ,dogs and starts to run.

57 EXT. STREET




Slow motion. They bail Tyrone into the back of a car.

58 EXT. FIELD




Slow motion. The dogs move out in a pincer movement.

59 INT. BOOT OF A CAR




Poor Tyrone is bleeding in the boot of a car.

60 EXT. FIELD




The dogs move in.

61 EXT. CAR




They bail Tyrone out of the car and into Brick Top's pub.
Brick Top is waiting there. Brick Top asks questions. We
can't hear what he's asking, but we can see that Tyrone isn't
playing the game.

62 EXT. FIELD




The dogs are moving in.

63 INT. DOG HOUSE




A door is opened and Tyrone is thrown in. A rabid Neapolitan
mastiff pitbull hybrid that is attached to the end of a long
pole with a lasso at the other end is brought in, it will
quite clearly savage anything in its way.

64 EXT. FIELD




The hare gets caught and a pile of fur comes up

65 INT. DOG HOUSE ·




The dog bites Tyrone in the leg.



Tyrone shouts in panic, the music breaks, we come out of
slow motion and into real time.

TYRONE

Ok, I'll ****in tell you.




66 EXT. FIELD .




The hare escapes the jaws of the dogs and is off.

67 INT. CAR

Turkish is getting into his car. . ..

TOMMY

You're are as mad as mars you are,
why did you take that bet? What
happens now?

TURKISH

We buy him a caravan Tommy.




TOMMY

There is something very wrong with
this, it was us that wanted to buy a
caravan off him.

TURKISH

Why didn't you "bus a cap in his
ass" then Tommy? Mind you, you would
do more damage if you threw it at
him.

TOMMY

You saying I can't shoot?

TURKISH

Oh no Tommy I wasn't saying you can't
shoot, I know you can't shoot. What
I was saying is that six pound piece
of **** stuck in your trousers there
would do more damage if you fed it
to em.

TOMMY

Are you saying it doesn't work?

TURKISH

You tried it?
Tommy frowns

TURKISH-(CONT'D)

.=.. . That Russian saves the shooters that "'
work for the faces, and I don't want
to be the one that breaks it to you
Tommy but you ain't a face. Go on
try it.
Tommy sticks the gun out the window and pulls the trigger.
Nothing happens.







(CONTINU ED)





67 CONTINUED: .





TURKISH (CONT'D)

Whoops.




TOMMY

I want to see that sneaky ****in
Russian.

68 INT. BACK ROOM PAWN BROKERS




Vin and Sol are trying to wrap Franky's body up. Bad Boy
Lincoln has been called in to help.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

What happened to him?

SOL

He got shot in the face Lincoln, I
would have thought that was obvious.

BA D BOY LINCOLN

Well what do you want me to do about
it?

SOL

Sort it out.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

The only way to sort it out is to
bring him back to life and I am not
a ****in witch doctor am I?

SOL

Villains are supposed to know how to
get rid of bodies.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

Err, yes, but I have never actually
got rid of one. Who is he?

SOL

He's a man with a hole in his face
Lincoln. Who cares who he is?

BAD BOY LINCOLN

Err well, let's wrap him up.

SOL

What do you want to do that for?
, He's not a ****in Christmas present.

69 INT. CAR

Brick Top is on the phone and Errol and John sit opposite.




(CONTINUED)





69 CONTINUED:. .





BRICK TOP

Like I said I wasn't giving you a
choice. I am telling you that ****in
gypsy has got to fight.

70 INT. AMUSEMENT ARCADE

Turkish is on the other end of the phone to Brick Top. Tommy
is trying to listen in to what is being said.

TURKISH

I am sorry, but he's a stubborn
bastard, he says he's had enough, he
says he's got to look after his old
mum.

BRICK TOP

His what? ·.-· . ..

TURKISH '

His mum.

BRICK TOP

Are' you taking the **** again?

TURKISH

That's what he said, she's a nice
old girl his mum.

BRICK TOP

You're on thin ice Turkish, and I am
going to be there when it breaks.
He puts the phone down and inhales.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Anything for an easy life. That
****in pikey being difficult. Hello,
we here?

71 EXT. PAWN BROKERS

We see Errol outside with a glass cutter. He puts it around
the door and creates a circle with the sharp side, pulls it
out and puts his hand through to kill the alarm. He's in.

- ERROL

You coming John?

JOHN

Is a trout's head water proof Errol?
I wouldn't miss it for the world.










(CONTINUED)





71 CONTINUED:





ERROL

Get the governor John.
John goes back to the car which is parked down the street.
The window slides down.




JOHN

It looks like we are in gov.

BRICK TOP

Oh goodie gum drops. Get us a cup
of tea would you Errol?

72 INT. BACK ROOM PORN BROKERS

Vin, Lincoln and Sol are arguing

SOL

Hold him by his legs.

BA D BOY LINCOLN

What do you think I am holding him
by, his ****ing ears?
The interconnecting door opens slowly.

BRICK TOP

Hope it ' s not a bad moment.
Sol looks at Vin, Vin looks at Lincoln: they are
understandably surprised. Brick Top looks around the room
the silence continues. Brick Top helps himself to the most
comfortable seat.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Do you know who I am?

BAD BOY LINCOLN

Yeah I know.

BRICK TOP

Good. That will save me some time
then.

VINNY

Well I don't.

BRICK TOP

What you gonna do with your man there?
You're always gonna have problems
lifting a body in one piece.
Apparently the best thing to do is
cut the corpse up into six pieces
and pile it all together.




(CONTINUED)





72 CONTINUED:


SOL

Would someone mind telling me who
you are?

BRICK TOP

After you got six pieces you gotta
get rid of 'em, of course you can't
just leave it in the deep freeze for
your mum to discover, can ya?
Pause while the black guys are still holding the body. The
door opens and in walks Errol. He passes Brick Top a cup of
tea in a take away container.

VINNY

Lincoln, who is this man?

BRICK TOP

And then I hear the best thing to do
is feed 'em to pigs. You gotta starve
the pigs for a few days, then the
sight of a chopped up body looks
like curry to a drunk. You gotta
shave the heads of your victims and
pull the teeth out, you could do
that after of course, but you don't
want to go sieving pig **** do you?
Ever seen the size of one of their
molars? ·



He holds up his fist

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

They go through bone like i t ' s butter.
You gotta have a few pigs though you
need about sixteen they will go
through a body that weighs two hundred
pounds in about eight minutes that
means that a single pig can consume
two pounds of uncooked flesh every
minute,. . .
Pause

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Hence the expression greedy as a
pig.
Pause

VINNY

Well thank you, that's a large weight
off my mind.

(MORE)





(CONTINUED)





72 CONTINUED: (2)





VINNY (CONT'D)

But would you mind very much telling
me who the' **** you are? Other than
a man that feeds people to pigs of
course.
The door opens and we see John, who is wearing a pair of
extremely large plastic gloves, showing Brick Top the shotgu
that he has found.

JOHN

Would you look at the size of this?




BRICK TOP

Golly that is big isn't it Errol?
He looks back at the brothers

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Do you know what Nemesis means?



There is a pause

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

A righteous infliction of retribution
·by. an appropriate agent, personified
in this case by a horrible ****.
Me.
Brick Top stands and opens the door. We can see that a coupl
of ropes have been slung over the rafters and a couple of
buckets are underneath them. SIX VERY LARGE MEN (including
Errol and John) are standing around wanting to get busy. -
Tyrone is with them, all trussed up.

73 INT. DOUG'S OFFICE

·BULLET TOOTH' TONY is in front of Hands, Rosebud and Doug.

HANDS

Can I call you Tony?

BTT

You can call me Susan if it makes
you happy.

ROSE BUD

You got nice teeth Susan.
Tony demonstrates an interest in Rose Bud's.

BTT

You don't, you should comb em some
time.




(CONTINUED)





73 CONTINUED:

Hands interrupts

HANDS -

Tony, I want to know if you can find
me a man.

BTT

Well then it depends on all the
elements in the equation, how many
, are there?

HANDS

About forty thousand.

BTT

Where was he last seen?

DOUG

At a bookies.

BTT

A bookies eh? Susi, pass us the
blower.
Susi reaches for the phone.

74 INT. PAWN BROKERS




The black guys are hanging upside down. Errol and John are
now wearing industrial pinnies.

ERROL

Is this how you want him gov?

BRICK TOP

No spin him round, I want him sunny
side up.

SOL

Mr Mclean I kid you not. Why do you
think we have a dead man, missing an
arm in our office? Give us four
days and we'11 bring you a stone the
size of a home.
Brick Top considers this, and has a look at Errol who is
more than enthusiastic to get on with the job at hand.

BRICK TOP

What do you think Errol?

ERROL.

I think we should drip dry em
governor, while we have the chance.




(CONTINUED)





74 CONTINUED:

Brick Top again frowns at Errol.

BRICK TOP

It was a rhetorical question Errol,
what have I told you about thinking?
He turns back to the brothers.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

You got forty eight hours.
He looks at Lincoln.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

I am going to take your man here.
Pointing to Tyrone.

BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

You can keep this silly ****er.

.LINCOLN

Hold on..

ERROL

Shut it or I'll cut ya. . .

BRICK TOP

In forty eight hours I'11 set the
dogs on him and then the pigs on the
remains.
Brick Top nods at Errol who looks extremely disappointed.

75 INT. CAR




BTT and Hands are driving along. Rose Bud is in the back.

BTT

A bookies got blagged last night.

HANDS

Blagged?

BTT

Robbed. I gotta see a man who looks
like he might know something, but it
can't be done on the phone if you
know what I mean.
He turns to Rose Bud.

ROSE BUD

I need a cun.




(CONTI NUED)





75 CONTINUED:


BTT

No you don't, Rose Bud my old son,
you need me.

76 INT. PAWN BROKERS




Tyrone looks desperate. .

TYRONE

He set the dogs on me. Look.
He shows his wounds to Sol and Vin.

VINNY

No wonder that sneaky ****in Russian
didn't want to do it.

SOL

First things first, one of us, Tyrone,
you get round to-the Russian's. The
second you see him call us.

TYRONE

You better be round with something
substantial, don't turn up with a
frown and a wagging finger.

SOL

I am on it Tyrone^.

77 EXT. SEEDY STREET

BTT is in the car with Hands and Rose Bud. The car is parked
at the feet of Mullet, who is in discussion with another
horrible character. Mullet is extremely nervous about seeing

BTT.


BTT

Alright Mullet?

MULLET

Tony, alright mate? I thought.,
well I thought you weren't about
anymore.

.:·.····


: : BTT

Well what do you know? It's still
warm the blood that courses through
my veins. Unlike yours Mullet.
Bt.t has a quick look down the street.










(CONTINUED)





77 CONTINUED:





BTT (CONT'D)

This job does have prospects after
all, you travel to pretty places,
meet interesting people.
Btt looks at who Mullet is talking to, the man has a try
hard mustache and interjects.

MAN

Who the **** gave you such a big
mouth?

BTT

Someone whom you might shortly meet.

MAN

You threatening me?

BTT

Only with wings and a halo.
Mullet gives the man a furtive kick and makes eyes to shut
up. ,

BTT (CONT'D)

Clean the breakfast7off your top
lip/ and make yourself busy sunshine.
The man moves off

BTT (CONT'D)

I want to know who blagged Brick
Top's bookies.

MULLET

Oh do me a favour Tone?

BTT

I will do you a favour Mullet, I'll
not bash the living **** out of you
in front of all your girlfriends
here.

· MULLET

I don't know anything about that

·


·

Tony.. .

BTT

If you play hard to get 'Mullet you'll
wish you'd never been caught.
Mullet looks uncomfor'table about the fact that he's thinking.
j ' · · ·




(CONTINUED)





77 CONTINUED: (.2)





MULLET

Make it worth my while at least.
Jesus Tone you know how it is.
Btt turns to Hands.

BTT

Give us your wallet Hands.
Hands makes eyes and digs into his back pocket and produces
his wallet. BTT takes out some notes and proffers them to
Mullet, Mullet nervously reaches forward. As quick as you
like Btt has Mullet by the collar and pulls Mullet into the
car. He then raises the electric window on Mullet's throat
until it has fastened Mullet to the roof of the vehicle.




BTT (CONT'D)

Comfortable Mullet? ,



Mullet has already gone pink.

BTT (CONT'D)

You can take as long as you like
Mullet.
Btt starts to pull away so Mullet has to keep walking with
him.

MULLET

****in hell what are you doing?

BTT

I am driving down the street with
your head stuck in my window. What
do you think I am doing you penis?
He does the window up a bit tighter. And grabs him by the
nose. He pulls a face when he smells his breath.

BTT (CONT'D)

You been using dog **** tooth paste
Mullet?
He speeds up even more.

.. MULLET . . - . - ·

Slow down.




BTT .

Err no I don't think I'l l slow down
Mullet, I think I ' l l speed up. I
could play you some music if you
like.







.(CONTINUED)





77 CONTINUED: (3)




BTT turns on the radio. A song comes on that he loves.

BTT (CONT'D)

Oh I love this track. Yes Mullet.

MULLET

It could be Tyrone Conway.

BTT

Tyrone Conway?




MULLET

White geezer, thinks he's black, did
a job for a pair of brothers who
have a pawn shop in Smith Street.

BTT

Tyrone Conway?

MULLET

Yes that's what I said. I t ' s ****in
Tyrone Conway.

BTT

It may be ****in him, but wait and
see what I can do to you.
He puts his foot down and Mullet loses his footing, and is
dragged along. '.

HANDS

What about?
He points to Mullet. BTT pulls an, 'oh yes I forgot about
him1 face. He doesn't even look at Mullet. He lowers the
window, and Mullet falls by the way, in god knows what
condition.

78 INT. PAWN BROKERS

The music continues, and we have a montage of the black guys
dealing with Bullet Tooth Tony and Hands as they arrive at
the pawn shop. We see the corpse, we see Hands get irate
and it looks like it's going to be the end of the black fellas
again. The black guys try to whip out the big gun but Tony
disarms them and takes the gun off them. The music ends
along with the scene when Sol breaks.

SOL

It's the Russian, well to be technical
an Uzbekistan.













(CONTINUED)





78 CONTINUED:


HANDS

Russian? The sneaky dogs. I been
doing business with those sneaky
dogs.

SOL

Boris.



BTT looks familiar with this name.

BTT

Dear oh dear, you do know some
horrible people.




79 INT. DOUG'S OFFICE


HANDS

Russians, I didn't think it would be
the Russians.

DOUG

Boris the Blade? I heard of him,
isn't he supposed to be a short little
****er that's covered in scars?

BTT

Sneaky little **** one of the Russian
dissidents, killed more men
than,...well he's-killed a lot of
men. Deals in arms, that he gets
off some of the old school.
We cut to the security monitor that observes the shop, it
sits on Doug's desk. The door opens and in walks Boris. As
bold as brass he walks up to the counter.

DOUG

Hold on. What's going on here?
Doug picks up the phone to the downstairs shop. Susi picks
up the receiver at the other end.

SUSI

Yes Dad?

. --- - DOUG

What does that man want?

SUSI

I t ' s hard to say, he's got a thick
Russian accent.




80 INT. DOUG'S .OFFICE DOWNSTAIRS




They are obviously going to move in on the Russian.

BTT

He's a bit sneaky this fella, so
watch out.

ROSE BUD

I hate Russians. I'll sort him out.
Hands and BTT both look at Rose Bud and look relieved for
the offer.

BTT

He's all yours Rose Bud.

81 EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE

Micky is looking at his caravan; it's in flames, real proper
roaring flames. People are desperately trying to put the
flames out. Micky is covered in dirt from his futile efforts.
One of the other pikies who's involved in trying to extinguish
the fire turns round and sees Micky standing there motionless.
He can see he's upset.

PATRICK

What's wrong with Micky?

DAREN

His mam was in there Patrick. They
burnt his mam.
All real sound recedes and we drift in to music. The camera
slowly tracks in on Micky. It's hard to read how devastated
he is. The camera reaches Micky's face, the reflections of
the flames can be seen in his water swollen eyes, but his
cheeks remain dry. .

82 INT. BTT CAR

BTT is driving, Hands in the passenger seat and Rose Bud in
the back. BTT's got a bleeding eye and his hand is wrapped
up in a bandage. Rose Bud is clutching his stomach.

HANDS

Sneaky was a bit of a ****in
understatement wasn't it?

BTT

What do you want me to do? Your man
there thought he could take him. I
told you he was dangerous.

HANDS

How you doing Rosey?




(CONTINUED)





82 CONTINUED: .

Hands looks at Rose Bud who's holding his midsection.

ROSE BUD

You're going to have to get me to a
hospital, let's shoot that ****er.
Then get me to a hospital.




HANDS

We gotta get this stone first Rosy
and then we'll get you to a hospital.

83 INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S




Vin and Sol are going through a selection of keys they have,
trying to open the front door.

SOL

Lincoln's got some tools here, when
he has had a few drinks he gets em
out and runs around the house holding
a pistol in each hand, telling me
about what a bad boy he is.

VINNY

Do you know where he keeps em?
They find the right key.

SOL

Well they ain't gonna be lying on
the kitchen table Vince, we gotta
have to look. Flick tlie switch.
I t ' s dark, they flick the switch. They look onto an
immaculate pad. Music fades up along with the lights.

VINNY

Jesus. What's going on here?

SOL

He likes his drum does Bad Boy
Lincoln.
The dog goes bounding in.

SOL (CONT'D)

Well let's get busy.

EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE


84




BTT's car pulls up outside Boris1 house. BTT and Rosebud
pull Boris up in the boot. Tyrone who is hanging about nearb
keeping watch, witnesses this. Rosebud places a blade at
the Russian's neck.




(CONTINUED)





77.





84 CONTINUED:





ROSE BUD

I think you have got something to
tell us.

HANDS

Take it easy Rosy, take it easy.



BTT looks at the blood that's already starting to pierce the
skin from where the blade is pressed against the Russian's
neck. BTT then looks at Hands with concern.

BTT

You want him to be able to talk or
not?

85 INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S

Sol and Vin have found the weapons and are tossing them from
hand to hand.

SOL

I didn't know did I? They always
looked the **** to me.

VINNY

What are we gonna do with em Sol?

SOL

Shut your mouth Vince, this is all
we got, so this will have to do.
Sol's mobile rings.

SOL (CONT'D)

Yes?




86 EXT. BORIS' HOUSE


TYRONE

Boris is here.

87 INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S


SOL

Now.

TYRONE

That's why I am calling you.

SOL

We're coming over. Hold him there.
Sol puts the phone down before he has to hear what Tyrone
has to say.




(CONTINUED)





87 CONTINUED: . S7


SOL (CONT'D)

Leave that dog here Vince, we gotta *
go.
They shut the dog in the main room and go out of Lincoln's
house.

88 EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE 88


TYRONE

(continuing after *
Sol's put the phone *
down) *
He's not on his own.




89 INT. TYRONE'S CAR 89




We cut to Vinny and Sol tearing round to Boris's.. They're
driving Tyrone's car. As they arrive, Tyrone jumps out in
the middle of the road. They screech to a halt, narrowly
avoiding squashing Tyrone.

SOL

Where is he?

· .


TYRONE

I t ' s not just a he, there are three . *
of them in the house with him.

SOL

Why didn't you tell us Tyrone?
Tyrone pulls a "I tried" face.

VINNY

Do they look hard?

TYRONE

They look ****ed up.

SOL . " *

Well get in and let's load up.
Vin whips out a gun.

VINNY *

Load them up with what? *

TYRONE *

What's wrong with them?

VINNY

. They're replicas.







(CONTINUED)





89 CONTINUED:





TYRONE

Hold tight rudy, are you ****in mad?
Do you know who these people are?

SOL

No I don't Tyrone, but I do know I
don't want to be eaten by pulled
apart by dogs and then eaten by ****in
pigs.




90 EXT. PIKEY ENCAMPMENT




Tommy and Turkish are looking on to the burned out caravan. .
They are in shock. There is a whole gathering of dodgy,
angry looking pikies standing around, giving Turkish and
Tommy some bad looks.

TURKISH

Jesus I am sorry Micky. I am really
sorry. He's a mad bastard.
Darren decides to interject.

DAREN

Who are these the boys Micky?
Darren's eyes are full of poison. Tommy and Turkish suddenly
feel very uncomfortable.

MICKY

Back off Darren. What kind of ****
would turn up here if they knew what
had happened? Leave my business to
me boy.
Darren spins on his heel

MICKY (CONT'D)

I got a message that he wanted me to
**** you two off, that's why I wanted
you back. I' l l do the fight before
he causes any more carnage, but I ' l l
only do it if you're there.

TURKISH

Why?

MICKY

Because I know he ****in hates ya. . ·

91 INT. TURKISH'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS




Turkish and Tommy are driving. Turkish is drinking a pint
of"milk (as usual). There is silence for a while.




(CONTINUED)





91 CONTINUED:





TOMMY

It's not warm the blood in his veins
is it?

TURKISH

I gotta say .1 don't like this Tommy.
This has got very ****in messy.
Jesus you know how he felt about his
old girl. I think we should get you
a new gun Tommy, but this time try
. . . '. it.

TOMMY

How far is the Russian's?

TURKISH

We'll be there in a minute.
He takes a sip of his milk. There's a pause.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

It's not the same.

TOMMY

What?

TURKISH

Milk, in these cartons.
i

TOMMY

You shouldn't drink that stuff any
way.

\


TURKISH

Why, what's wrong with it?

TOMMY

It's not in synch with evolution.

TURKISH

Shut up!

T OMMY

Cows have only been domesticated in
the last eight thousand years, before
that they were running around mad as
lorries. The human digestive system '"'
hasn't got used to any dairy products
yet, it takes a lot longer than that.

TURKISH

Well **** me Tommy, what have you
been reading?

(MORE)





(CONTINUED)





CONTINUED: (2)


91





TURKISH (CONT'D)

Cows mad as lorries eh? You hear
about the two cows having a chat in
a field? One says to the other,
"what do you think about this mad
cows' disease then? The other one
looks back and says "doesn't bother
me, I'm a duck.
Turkish looks back at him blankly.

TOMMY

Here let me do you a favour.
He reaches over and grabs the carton from Turkish, and throws
it out the window. The milk obviously hits an on-coming car
. in the other direction. There is a terrible crashing noise.
Tommy and Turkish come to a standstill, and look back to see
a small pile up on the other side of the road.

TOMMY (CONT'D)

What was in that milk?

92 INT. BORIS' HOUSE




BTT, Hands and Rose Bud are standing over a safe. They are
looking at a whole pile of money. The case is open and Hands
is holding the stone.

HANDS

He's a sneaky ****er that Russian.
Well shall we go?

BTT ·

What you want to do about the Russian?

HANDS

I want to bury him.

EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE


93




Hands, Tony and Rosebud walk out.

94 INT. TYRONE'S CAR




The black guys witness this. Tyrone's now in the front seat
driving. .

VINNY

Well come on let's have em.
Pause while they consider this.







(CONTINUED)





94 CONTINUED: -





VINNY (CONT'D)

Well come on.




SOL

Not so fast Vin we can't get em now
we gonna have to follow them.
B TT's car moves off. The black guys follow.




TYRONE

I ' l l move in. It'll be ok.




SOL

OK is very close to KO, and KO is
close to R.I ****ing.P. You know
what RIP stands for Tyrone?

TYRONE

It stands for.

SOL

It stands for .shut your ****in mouth
Tyrone and leave the talking to us.
Let's get these ready.

TYRONE

Do they fire?
Pointing to the guns.

' SOL

Of course they ****in fire?

VINNY

How do you know? They're replicas,
what do you know about replicas?
Sol looks at the gun and frowns, "what does he know about
replicas"? He pulls the trigger. He fires one shot. It is
very loud, the gun goes off near Tyrone's ear, he buckles in
. pain. The car does a massive swerve and everything nearly
ends in disaster, all the windows shatter including the
windshield (but the glass stays put). Tyrone regains some
control over the car.

VINNY {CONT'D)

What the **** do you think you're
doing Sol?

SOL

Jesus, I didn't know it was that
loud.







(CONTINUED)





94 CONTINUED: -<2)





VINNY

Well just how ****in loud did you
think it was going to be? It's a-
****ing gun Sol, guns are renowned
for making a loud ****ing noise
whenever you pull the trigger.

SOL

You wanted to see if they worked.

VINNY

I didn't mean try it in the ****in
car Sol.

SOL

Well they work, I reckon they are
really going to put the ****s into
em.

VINNY

Right now I am not concerned with
putting the ****s into em Sol, I am
" " . concerned about taking the pain out
of my ringing ****ing ears. Look
what you did to poor Tyrone. Tyrone
you alright?
He taps Tyrone on the shoulder. Tyrone looks up.

VINNY (CONT'D)

Are you alright?
Tyrone spins in his seat and answers a little too loudly.

TYRONE

I am ****in deaf! What have you
done to my car?
They crash into the car in front. Boris the Blade comes
flying through the windshield.

95 INT. BTT CAR -- NIGHT

(This scene runs concurrently with scene 91)

HNS


AD- .......

How we going to get rid of him?

BTT

You want to shoot him?

HANDS

I t ' s a bit noisy isn't it?







(CONTINUED)





95 CONTINUED: -





BTT

Well you want to stab him?

-HANDS

That's a bit cold blooded isn't it?

BTT

You want to kill him or not?

ROSE BUD

I' 1 1 cut him.

BTT

That's the spirit. There's a sword
back there.
He points to behind a seat: there is a bloody great sword
concealed. Tony skillfully passes the sword to Rose Budd,
who attempts to pull it out of its scabbard. Tony turns
round to Hands.

BTT (CONT'D)

You, you want a knife?
He passes Hands a knife.

HANDS

I wouldn't know what to do with it.

BTT

It's not a ****in rocket launcher.
It's a knife for gods sake, what
have you used for to keep your fork
company for all these years? It's
got a sharp side and a blunt side.
You want a lesson?
There is a sudden bang on the windshield and BTT turns back
to the front only to see the windshield covered in milk.
Tony can't see where he is going and searches for the
windshield wipers. While this is happening the car swerves
to the side and hits a lamp post. They crash and the boot
(trunk) has flown open and Boris the Blade tries to lift
himself out. Rose Bud looks down at the sword he has been
extracting he can see he very nearly cut himself in two.
Tony pulls himself up from the steering wheel he has a trickle
of blood running down his face. There's a crash and a car
hits em from behind.

96 INT. TYRONE'S CAR --NIGHT




They too are recovering from the accident. And Boris has
now come headfirst through the windshield.







(CONTINUED)





96 CONTINUED: -





VINNY

You idiot what have you done?

SOL

Is that Boris?




97 INT. BTT'S CAR


HANDS

What happened?

BTT

We hit something and something hit
us.
He turns and sees that Rose Bud has got a sword sticking
though him. It's gone through him and the seat that he is
sitting on.

98 INT. BLACK GUY'S CAR





SOL

Let's hit em now.

VINNY

The is a dead Russian on my lap Sol
I am not thinking about hitting
anybody right now.

SOL

Well you better start thinking Vince
because otherwise you'll be ****in
lucky if you end up looking like
that.

99 INT. BTT'S CAR .





BTT

You alright?

HANDS

No I am about a rocket ride from
right Tony.

BTT

I mean do you feel alright?

HANDS

Ohh yeah, I feel like I am lying on
the naked lap of Aphrodite, cooled
by the tumbling petals of spring
roses, how the **** do you think I
feel?







(CONTINUED)





99 CONTINUED: -





BTT

Hold tight big man, and put your
guns away. Let's get going.

HANDS

What about Rose Bud?

BTT

Well you can bring him with you if
you want but which bit do you want
to bring?




100 INT. BLACK GUY'S CAR


SOL

They are getting out.

VINNY

Well get down, the last thing we
want him to see is three brothers
wearing ski masks.

1.01 INT. CAFE

BTT and Hands, covered in blood, walk off the street into a
cafe.

HANDS

I gotta clean up.
He goes out the back while BTT goes to the pay phone to call
Doug.

102 EXT. STREET

The black guys pile out of the car and follow BTT and Hands
at a safe distance.

103 INT. CAFE

BTT is on the phone

BTT

Doug, we are in the ****, come and
pick us up.

104 EXT. BORIS1 HOUSE

Tommy and Turkish pull up outside Boris' house.

TURKISH

He's left the door open.










(CONTINUED)





104 CONTINUED: -


TOMMY

I shouldn't think that's a good idea.
Shall we have a look?

TURKISH

I don't want to go in there, he's a
dangerous bastard, taken too many
disco biscuits in the heat of Russian
disputations, he's got as many of
these nuts as those nuts.



He grabs his groin and circles his finger and his temple

TOMMY

I don't care if he's got ****in hazel
nuts, I want a gun that works.

TURKISH

Well come on then before the Germans
get here.

105 EXT. CAFE . .

The black guys have followed BTT and Hands and are waiting
outside, readying themselves for action. .

SOL ' .

. Now Tyrone you go... Tyrone, oi
Tyrone.
Tyrone can't hear a thing.

VINNY

I'11 never forgive you Sol.
Sol taps Tyrone on the shoulder.

SOL

When we get in you wait by the door
I am number one, Vin number two and
you are number three.

106 INT. CAFE

The black guys enter. BTT has just finished his phone call
and sat down. . -.

SOL

I don't want a fuss and I don't want
to put a bullet in your face, but
unless you give me exactly what I
want there will be murders.
BTT shakes his head in amazement.




(CONTINUED)





106 CONTINUED: -


SOL (CONT'D)

Number three pull the blind down.



Tyrone can't hear this request.

VINNY

lo number three, he said pull the
blind down.
He still can't hear him. This is minorly embarrassing.

VINNY (CONT'D)

I'll sort it. .




SOL

Stand up!

BTT

Excuse me, but who the **** are you?

SOL

You hear what .1 said? Stand up,
unless you're crippled.

BTT

Do I look crippled? ,

SOL

You'll look ****ing dead, unless you
stand up.
Sol cocks the gun and Tony pulls a sarcastic 'I am shocked'
face.

BTT

You got ballsl

SOL

You want to test em?

BTT

There are two types of balls, there
are big brave balls and there are
little mincy faggot balls.

'-- - * ' . - ·

·p- WNNY .
You're a dead man talking. These
are your last words so make them a
prayer.
Vinny takes aim.













(CONTINUED)





106 CONTINUED: (2)





BTT .

So you're obviously the big dick,
and they on either side of you, must
be your balls.
Vin goes to hit him with the gun but it's caught by Tony,
Vin tries to pull the nose out of Tony's hand but he can't
move it. Sol steps forward and raises his gun.

SOL

Let go of the gun.



Vinny cocks his gun. There is a pause and eventually Tony
lets go of it.

BTT

I am talking for your benefit. Now
dicks have drive, and clarity of
vision.
Tony starts to build himself a complicated looking weapon
under the table, unseen by the black guys. He takes bits
out of one sock and bits out of another sock.

BTT (CONT'D)

But they're not clever, they smell
pussy, and they want a piece of the
action, and the dimmer the dick, the
less he cares about the consequences,
and you thought you smelt gooood ol
pussy, and have brought your little
mincy faggot balls along for a gooood
ol time, but you have got your parties
muddled up, there is no pussy here,
just a dose to make you wish you
were born a woman.. . .
We cut to the shell shocked brothers, and the almost
completely built weapon.

BTT (CONT'D)

And just like a prick, you are having
second thoughts; you're shrinking,
and your little balls are shrinking
with you.
They stare on. The brothers have lost this one and they
know it. They start to reverse. BTT lets the odd chicken
cluck out the corner of his mouth, Vinny misses his step and
waves his gun about in a futile effort to look mean. They
back away into the corridor down to the back door of the
cf. . .
ae ·




107 INT. CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS

...and just as they turn the corner they bump into Hands
still drying his hands, they can see that he's carrying a
case that they recognize. The brothers adapt to their new
scenario:

VINNY

Pass it me.
Hands hesitates.

108 INT. CAFE.-- CONTINUOUS




BTT can hear that the black guys and Hands have run into
each other and pulls out the complicated looking gun which
is now in one piece. BTT cocks the gun and aims it at the
wall which the brothers would be behind, he follows the wall
simulating the speed of their journey.

109 INT. .CORRIDOR -- CONTINUOUS





.-.'-.. VINNY

I won't ask again
He raises his gun. A covey of bullets perforates the wall,
one hitting Vin in the hand. The brothers take the
opportunity to duck. Hands dives for cover too and drops
the bag. A continuation of bullets comes flying through the
wall. The black guys take the opportunity to pick the bag
up and leg it.

110 INT. CARAVAN





I AM AFRAID THAT THIS SCENE HAS TO WAIT UNTIL I HAVE BEEN TO


A IRISH TRAVELERS WAKE. I'LL BE ABOUT FOUR MINUTES LONG.


IF YOU HAVE ANY IRISH RELATIVES THAT HAVE DIED RECENTLY DON'T


HESITATE TO CALL.





111 INT. BRICK TOP'S PUB




The brothers are standing in front of Brick Top, they move
uneasily from foot to foot. Brick Top examines the stone.
He looks up.




BRICK TOP

Quite a lump. Alright you can go '
now . '

SOL

Any chance of taking Lincoln with
us?

BRICK TOP

That's where Errol's taking ya.







(CONTINUED)




Ill CONTINUED:
They turn and Errol is waiting for them.

ERROL

Follow me.
They go out of one room into another, and Errol shuts the
door behind them. Vin looks uncomfortable. Another door is
opened and a man brings out Lincoln. Lincoln is in bad shape
and is relieved to see familiar faces, they are now shut in
a room .

SOL

You alright Lincoln?

ERROL

Do you know why the governor is the
governor?

VINNY

Err. .

ERROL

I t 's because people are scared of
him. You know why they are scared
of him?

SOL

Err .

ERROL

It's because of stories. I am sure
you've heard one or two of those
stories. For example, did you hear
about the three black fellas that
did a very bad thing, however they
made some effort to redeem that very
bad thing, so the governor saw fit
not to kill em. He thought it would
be a more advantageous concept to
let them kill each other and let the
survivor live to tell the tale.
That way everybody wins, well, all
except the two that died of course.
We look at the table where we see three large kitchen knives
sitting provocatively. Tyrone rushes for one of the blades
grabs it and runs at Vin, Vin sidesteps and Tyrone keeps
running straight into the arms of Errol who raises his gun
at the last moment. Tyrone slides the blade into Errol 's
ribs and Errol fires a shot straight at Tyrone. The bullet
passes through Tyrone and hits John in the throat . Vin,
Lincoln and Sol are left wondering what the **** has just
happened .







(CONTINUED)





111 CONTINUED: (2)





BAD BOY LINCOLN ,

Grab it.




SOL

What?




VINNY

The gun you prick.
Sol goes for one, and Vin goes for the other.

112 INT. CARAVAN, PIKEY CAMPSITE




There is a wake in motion. We cut to Micky and Turkish. It
is obvious that a lot of hard core drinking has been going
on, and there is an Irish band playing. The is a coffin in
the middle of a caravan that is closed for obvious reasons
i t ' s surrounded by heavy looking lads. The is a man dancing
on one of the tables.

THIS SCENE I SHALL BE FILLING IN SHORTLY BUT I AM AFRAID YOU


HAVE TO WAIT TILL I HAVE BEEN TO A IRISH WAKE. ALL AS I


KNOW IS THAT RATHER IRONICALLY THEY ARE FUN. HOWEVER I LIKE


JUXTAPOSITIONS OF MICKY SINGING AND CRYING SIMULTANEOUSLY.


113 INT. DOUG'S OFFICE '

All three black guys are sitting in front of BTT and Hands
and Doug. There is silence as the white guys have just been
told something disturbing. BTT eventually breaks the silence

BTT

Well you gotta admire their balls.

HANDS

_ I don't want to admire balls that I
want to chop off.

SOL

What choice did we have?

VINNY

I know sorry doesn't mean **** all,
but we are game on, what do you want
us to do?

·HANDS

Get us that stone back.

BTT

So Brick Top has now got the stone?

VINNY

He's got it.




(CONTINUED)





113 CONTINUED:


HANDS

You wouldn't be lying to us would
you now?

SOL

Why should we? Could just have
disappeared.
Cut to Hands who's thinking.

HANDS

Okay.

114 INT. BRICK TOP'S PUB




BTT and Hands are at the bar.

BARMAN

You got some front coming round here
ain't ya Tony?

BTT

Never mind what I got , I am looking
for Brick Top?

BARMAN

You mean Mr Mclean.

BTT

You know who I mean you ****ing fringe
now find him.
Pause: the barman looks truculent.

BTT (CONT'D)

Chop chop.



The barman walks down the end of a bar and picks up the phone.

HANDS

What was it you did exactly Tony?

BTT

I had a little run in with a few of
the chaps.

HANDS

How ' s that ?

BTT

They're all brainless, they got white
powdered angels sitting on their
shoulders telling them what was what,
all too busy. . .




(CONTINUED)





114 CONTINUED: -

He sticks his finger by the side of his nose and inhales.

BTT (CONT'D)

If they weren't sniffing the dust
they where flicking the ash. And
never trust who puts anything other
than a finger up his nose.
KEN, another of Brick Top's men, appears from somewhere and
approaches Tony with another heavy, SEAN.

KEN

Follow me.
They do and end up in a corridor. The door .shuts behind
them and the door in front hasn't yet opened. Ken turns
around and faces Tony.

KEN (CONT'D)

Did you know that it was my cousin
Lorrie you stabbed?
There is a pause. The situation is volatile.

BTT

Yes I know I stabbed a man called
Lorrie, but no I didn't know he was
related to a tub a ****.
Ken knows it's on.

KEN

Shut that door Sean.

BTT

Lock that ****in door Sean.
BTT takes a step forward and puts his hand, into the back of
his trousers. He starts to growl.

BTT (CONT'D)

You're a big man, but I don't care
if you're ten foot ****in tall, you
still got eight pints of blood and
you'll bleed like any bastard. And
. when.I drop .ya, and I will ****in
drop ya, I'll open you up like a
packet of crisps.



Pause to take in what has just been said then he continues.

BTT (CONT'D)

You're a bully Ken, but remember, I
am a bigger bully.




(CONTINUED)





114 CONTINUED: (2)




The door opens and they are interrupted by another HEAVY.

HEAVY FELLA

Ha, Ken what' s going on? Bring em
through. The governor wants to see
em.
Ken is relieved by the interruption, and he leads the way
with a truculent "you're lucky" stare. They enter Brick
Top's office.

BRICK TOP

I gotta say you have got some front
coming round here Tone, you know the
lads are picking straws. . .
Interrupted

BTT

You gotta diamond and it doesn't
belong to you, it belongs to my
colleague here.

BRICK TOP

That's what I love about you Tone,
no small talk.

BTT

I said we should come round and raise
****in hell, you know shoot a few of
the boys and that, but he said he
thinks we would have more success if
we paid for it. So I am going to
have a drink and let you two discuss
what you have to discuss.
Btt walks to the bar. Ken is sitting there with Sean.

BTT (CONT'D)

Alright big man, I hope you aren't
bitter about your cousin Lorrie.
If you listen carefully, you will hear a slight zip of flies
being undone.

KEN

You know you're alright when they're
are talking business, I ' d like to
see you gob off outta here.

BTT ·

Ohh do me a favour Ken, you've always
been mouth and no trousers.







(CONTINUED)





114 CONTINUED: (-3)




We cut back to Brick Top and Hands

HANDS -

I 'l l pay for it, I won't pay you the
top ****in whack but you'll never
get that anyway. You got it?

BRICK TOP

I can't sell you something I haven't
got now can I?
BTT returns to them - there is a scream from Ken

KEN

You're a dead ****in man. You listen
to me Tony you're a dead ****in...
Brick top frowns at Ken, and Ken shuts up quickly.

BRICK TOP

What did you do to upset Ken, Tony?
Tony shrugs

KEN

He's ****ed in my ****in pocket,
look!
Ken shows off a wet-sided jacket and a damp set of trousers.

BRICK TOP

Do shut up Ken. That was a bit
naughty Tony.
Tony shrugs. Brick Top puts his hands in to his pocket and
withdraws the stone. We cut to Hand's expression.

HANDS

Well come on, let's have a look.
Brick Top passes the stone to Hands. All goes quiet while
everybody focuses on the stone. Hands lifts it up to his
eye.

HANDS (CONT'D)

What are you playing at? -
He drops the stone: it smashes on the ground.

HANDS (CONT'D)

It's a zirconia.
We crash track in to Brick Top's expression of shock.




115 INT. VAULT(DOUG'S OFFICE)




The four black guys are trying to pick the lock of the vault,
having been locked in it by Bullet Tooth, Hands and Doug.

VINNY

I changed the stone.

SOL

You what?

VINNY

I changed it. I know Brick Top knows
nothing about stones.

SOL

Yes but Doug the ****in head does!




VINNY

Yeah well I didn't expect them to
lock us up in here did I?

SOL

Ohh your one clever bastard Vin, you
really are. Where is it?

VINNY

It's at Lincoln's.

BAD BOY LINCOLN

What the ****'s it doing at my place?

VINNY

Waiting for us to pick it up.

SOL

What happen if they find that it's a
fake stone Vince?

VINNY

Well we are going to get ****ed Sol
what do you think is going to happen?
The door opens.

BTT

Ohh yes you are going to get ****ed
Vince. -

116 INT. DARK.




A distant voice is shouting

TURKISH

Oi Micky. Oi Micky.




117 ' INT. VAN -- NIGHT

We fade out of black to Micky's pov. Thisis shot in slow
motion. Micky opens his eyes, in the backof.a large van,
there is only one faint light that moodilyilluminates his
tired eyes.

TURKISH

You feeling alright Micky?

MICKY

I've felt better.

TURKISH

We are nearly there. They are a
horrible bunch this lot Micky so pay
attention to what you are doing.
Micky just yawns.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Put up some kind of a show, he's a
hard bastard this "good night"
Anderson so don't get too clever, he
used to be a pro. Just keep moving
round the ring, and let the odd one
go when push has come to shove.

MICKY

Let's get on with it, shall we?

118 INT. WAREHOUSE - '

A temporary ring has been erected, four scaffolding posts
with welded on hoops make the arena, the ropes that are
threaded through the hoops are industrial nylon and free of
padding. Around the ropes it's starting to fill. Brick Top
approaches Salt Pete and Jack 'the all seeing eye'.

SALT, PETER

I hope we gonna get a better show
this time.

BRICK TOP

This will make up for it. Micky's
going down in the fourth. Terry
over there is in charge of the bets.
Now you'll have to forgive me.
Brick Top leaves with Ken.




BRICK TOP (CONT'D)

Have we got the lads at the- camp
site?







(CONTINUED)





118 CONTINUED:


KEN

Yeah they are there.
Cut to a shot of some of Brick Top's heavies waiting in a
car outside the campsite.

BRICK TOP

Where's that ****in pikey?

119 INT. BACK OF WAREHOUSE




Brick Top is standing in front of Micky whose eyes are still
semi open.

BRICK TOP

What's wrong with you? You stoned?
Is he ****in stoned?

TURKISH . -

He's like that before a fight.
He turns his attention to Micky.

BRICK TOP

Now you know when you're going down?

TURKISH

Of course he knows when he's going
down.

KEN

Hey **** face, who's speaking to
you? He asked him didn't he?

TURKISH

**** face? I like that, I ' l l have
to use that one next time -I want to
impress your mum Ken.

MICKY

The fourth... or was it the fifth..

BRICK TOP

There's a campsite full of pikies
that might not think you're so ****in
funny when they 'are putting the flames
out on their children's backs.
Cut to a shot of Brick Top's boys lighting a cigarette in
the car outside the pikies.




120 INT. WAREHOUSE

Micky appears from a small door at the back of the warehouse.
He approaches the ring accompanied with shouts of
encouragement and counter shouts. He's wearing a pair of
semi cut tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt with grease marks
down the front. Turkish walks behind him, Micky still looks
bored. He climbs into the ring. Then from the same door as
the one through Micky came out walks a larger character with
a nose that appears to have seen countless rounds with a
frying pan: HORACE 'GOOD NIGHT1 ANDERSON.

THE REFF

Alright lads no eye gouging no biting.
Do your worst. Back to your corners.



We drift again into Micky's pov, his world is becoming more
and more surreal. He can faintly hear Turkish whispering
words to him, but he's not really listening. A bell comes
from somewhere, and Micky instinctively walks to the center
of the ring. "Good night" is already there, they pace one
another for a second or two, Micky avoids a punch or two and
then he takes a hard one and he knows it, we flash to white,
Micky's in trouble: he lets one of his missiles go and BANG
it shakes "good night" to his core, all goes quiet. We go
to super slow motion: his knees buckle and "good night" is
in trouble. Micky maintains a frown as he watches his
opponent's knees threaten to betray him. The crowd tries to
digest what is happening. After a period of silence reality
dawns. Brick Top mouths the words in silence."Don1t go down
you ****er". The crowd wants Micky to finish the job. But
common sense reins back the coup de grace. "Good night"
eventually regains control of his legs and stumbles forward,
after a few sleepy punches he starts to provide a serious
onslaught.




TURKISH

I don't like the look of this Tommy,
bring the van up to the back door.
This goes on for two rounds (which is montage down to a few
seconds). We go in the mind of poor Micky. We break the
music just as it's starting to look dangerous... The bell
goes and Micky walks to the wrong corner. Turkish pulls him
back to his corner.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

They are on ya. You got to hurt him
Micky. Otherwise we are
rumbled.... you hear me Micky? Do
-something, it looks like it' s rigged.
Micky goes out again his hands are low, BANG there is a flash
of white as Micky goes down in the dirt. Dust rises from
where he fell. He gets up quickly, his hands are still low,
BANG he goes down again, in no time he's up.




(CONTINUED)





120 CONTINUED: -

BANG: he hits the ground again and this time when he hits
the deck, he penetrates the dust covered floor, like i t ' s
made out of water. He falls through the water like he's
sinking; his eyes are open and he can't breathe, he continues
to fall, but he's unpanicked (he is now Micky 1). When Micky
1 looks up he can see himself in the corner of the ring takin
kidney punches from Good Night, he's winded and only semi-
conscious (this is Micky 2). Micky 1 makes the effort to
swim up and tries to penetrate the floor but he's stuck he
can't get through. Micky 2 takes more punishment in the
ring, as Micky 1 ' s hand continues to try to break the
underside of the floor but it stretches like rubber and forces
Micky 1 down again. Micky 1 looks up again and sees how
much trouble Micky 2 ' s in the ring. Micky 1 is panicking
now, he's running out of oxygen and Micky 2's being beaten,
Micky 1 starts -to sink again but now flames tickle the bottom
of his feet he looks up. and sees Micky 2 being smashed to
hell, his body eventually collapses and Micky 2 falls through
the floor. And as the latter falls through, Micky 1 manages
to rise from the depths and his punch manages to perforate
the surface. The punch continues its trajectory and has the
power to fell a red blooded rhino.... it catches "Good Night"
on the jaw and it's good night for "Good Night" it's unlikely
that he'll awake in the next hour. Dear oh dear everybody
is in trouble.



Again we cut to the reactions of the relevant parties.

TURKISH (CONT'D)

Tommy get the van.




TOMMY

I have it, it's waiting.
Turkish jumps into the ring and grabs Micky.

TURKISH

We are off Micky, hold tight, and
move quickly. ,
Turkish pulls Micky away. It's not as hard as it might be
trying to get out, because the crowd seems to have found its
own disputes, chairs start to fly. Brick Top's boys are
frustrated in the mayhem. Brick Top calmly dials into his
mobile telephone. It rings.

1


121 EXT. CARAVAN, PIKEY CAMPSITE

Darren picks up the phone.

DAREN .

If you would you like to speak to
your friends, you'll have to speak a
little -louder.




(CONTINUED)





121 CONTINUED:

We pull back to see four slumped heads in the car and blood
staining the windscreen. Brick Top calmly puts the phone
down.

BRICK TOP

Right lets get outta here.
Brick Top is looking every which way and trying to get out
of there, accompanied by Ken.

BRICK TOP (CONT.'D)

Where's the car Ken?




KEN

I t ' s coming now.

BRICK TOP

We are outta here.
They come out of a side entrance, their car pulls round the
corner and screeches to a halt. Brick Top opens the door as
he is about to get in, he's eyes widen to the size of saucers
as FOUR MEN (who we recognize from the wake) are sitting in
the place of his driver. They both have sawed-off shotguns
and empty four barrels into the chest of Brick Top and Ken.
The car spins away, leaving their twitching bodies on the
dirt.

:


122 INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S HOUSE .




Hands, Doug and Bullet Tooth have Vin, Sol and Bad Boy Lincol
in tow. They look at the front room of Lincoln's house.

HANDS

Very nice Lincoln.

BTT

Veeeery nice Lincoln.

BTT (CONT'D)

Well where is it?

VINNY

Next door.
They open the door.

123 INT. BAD BOY LINCOLN'S SITTING ROOM.




This room is a complete mess. All the colony leather has
been chewed up beyond recognition. They all grimace at the
smell. The dog comes running up










(CONTINUED)





123 CONTINUED: -





B AD BOY LINCOLN

Look what your dog's done to my
leather.

BTT

It's a bit funky in here.
BTT opens a window. The dog looks extremely relieved to see
someone.

HANDS

You keep a good house Lincoln. So
where's this stone?

VINNY

It was over there.
He points to a pile of chewed up cushions.

HANDS

Where?

VINNY

We left it in a box over there...
somewhere.
He walks over and finds the remains of the box.

VINNY (CONT'D)

I t ' s empty.




HANDS

Tony.

BTT

Dear oh dear.

SOL

He's not ****in about, we left it
there. It must be in the dog.
All eyes focus on the dog.

HANDS

Well let's have a look shall we?
. . . . Tn .
oy
All eyes focus on Tony.

BTT

What?

HANDS

Have a vlook in the dog.

.·





(CONTINUED)





123 CONTINUED: ( 2 )





BT T

What do you mean have a look in the
dog?

HANDS

I mean open him up..
Tony is not sure about this.

BTT

I t ' s not a ****in tin of baked beans,
what do you mean open him up?

HANDS

I mean open him up.
Hands does a movement that represents a knife across the
throat.

BTT

That's a bit strong isn't it?

HANDS

You wouldn't have a problem if it
was a person.

BTT

But it's not, it's a dog and I have
never done a dog.

HANDS

My heart bleeds.
There is another pause

,BTT

What dp I do?

HANDS

Let me take a wild and reckless guess.
Stick a knife in his guts and see if
it's got a diamond in there? I'll
hold it still and'you open it up.
Tony looks positively unsure and rocks his head from side to
side.

BTT

****in hell, alright then.

VINNY

You can't do that.










(CONTINUED)





123 CONTINUED: (-3)





HANDS

Well do it to you as well if it makes
you feel any better.
Cut to Tony having some problems trying to get hold of the
awkward dog. The dog starts to squeak. Tony passes the
blade to Hands.

BTT

I t ' s squeaking.

HANDS

What, you've never heard a dog squeak
before?... Hold him still.
The dog isn't sure about this either. Vin is in a panic and
suddenly.

VINNY

Stop! I can see it. I can see the
stone.
Hands at the point of entry stops. Vinny hops over to the
stone and picks it up. Tony lets the dog stand but keeps a
grip oh the collar. The dog is relieved to be semi-liberated.
Hands is still on his knees armed with an incredulous stare.

HANDS

Well let's see it.
Vinny holds it up. There's a sense of relief. He then throws
the stone, it cuts through the air. And the dog seeing
.another projectile runs to intercept it. There's a pause
while all now focus again on the dog. This is digested
literally and mentally. The dog recognizes all the attention
it's receiving. And goes through the motions of swallowing
it. Hands attempts an approach. The dog understandably
feels uncomfortable about the advancing vanguard and decides
emergency action is needed, and seeing the open window
launches itself out of it.

FADE TO BLACK


FADE UP


124 EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE ;

The pikies have moved overnight.

SOL

Well this is where they were.










(CONTINUED)





124 CONTINUED: -


HANDS

Well they aren't ****in here now are
they? And I can't see a dog can
you?

VINNY

They can't be far.

125 INT. CAR

Hands, BTT and the black guys are back on the road.

HANDS

You gonna have to come up with
something.
Just then they see some caravans in the distance.

VINNY

There they are.

126 INT. NEW CARAVAN CAMP SITE

All the caravans are fastened to the back of cars. Vinny,
Sol, BTT and Hands are standing in front of Micky.

MICKY

Well he's didn't come back to us.

VINNY

But he always came back.

MICKY

Well you might have noticed that we
have moved, you should have fed him
more, a dog will never leave you if
you feed it properly. It was a good
dog, he had a little flatulence
problem but was a good dog.

HANDS

Are you sure he's not here?

MICKY

I think I would have noticed if a
****in dog was sitting in my caravan
don't you? Tommy, Turkish, have you
seen a dog sitting in me caravan?

TURKISH

I can't say I have Micky.

MICKY

See there you have it.

(CONTINUED)





126 CONTINUED:


HANDS

Do you mind if we have a look around?

MICKY

What the ****'s got into you lot?
It's only a dog. I'l l give you
another one, if it means that much
to you.

127 EXT. CARAVAN CAMP SITE

Vinny, Sol, BTT and Hands descend the steps, they look like
children with their toys taken away.

HANDS

You better find me that dog, skinny
Vinny.



One of Micky's kids is on the bottom of the caravan steps as
the brothers walk by.

. KID 1

I looked after your car for ya.

HANDS

So?

KID 1

So aren't you gonna pay me?

BTT

Yeah bollocks.

KID 1

Bollocks to you, you tight git.

VINNY

Watch your mouth you cheeky ****e.

KID 1

Yeah **** ya.
The kid turns away and goes back to squeezing a toy. All
four of the chaps stop in their tracks.
Cut to shot of squeaky toy. We have seen this toy before.
Cut to freeze frame of Sol, Vin, BTT and Hands stopped dead
in their .tracks. They haven't turned to look over their
shoulders yet, but their eyes are turning to look.







THE END.
 
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