Shakespeare Unofficial

On Mon, 1 May 2006 23:35:46 +0100, "Lee_D"
<[email protected]> scribbled the following
nonsense:

>"Austin Shackles" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>
>>>A mate of mine (and yes it was a mate, not me) had a very bad experience
>>>in
>>>a Mini. The lady he was with was deployed in the only possible position
>>>on
>>>the back seat and he had both front seats lifted forward. At the crucial
>>>moment, in an attempt at sprog-avoidance, he moved smartly backwards and
>>>slipped. Remember those long gear levers in the early Minis? Apparently
>>>it
>>>took half an hour to get him off it (and half a box of tissues on the gear
>>>knob before it was fit to drive again). The girl nearly died laughing
>>>when
>>>she related it to us in the pub the next night.
>>
>> eeek!
>>
>> should've stumped up for a condom, innit.
>>
>
>Just lucky it wasn't an Auto...now that would have smarted... and the drive
>to A & E could have been interesting
>

dunno, wouldn't have neededto move across the box though, just
backwards and forwards from D to R
--

Simon Isaacs

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote"
George Jean Nathan (1882-1955)

On Tue, 2 May 2006 19:35:47 +0100, "Richard Brookman"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Those were the days when the very word c*nd*m was whispered out of earshot
>of grown-ups - not like today when they show five-year-olds how to fit one
>on a banana hands-free, as part of Year One PSE.

Are you sure? Five year olds I mean - which although I support the
idea of promoting safe sex, feel it's slightly young to be teaching
children such practical, well...

If the case, I'd ask what on earth ever happened to 'childhood'.


--
"We have gone from a world of concentrated knowledge and wisdom to one
of distributed ignorance. And we know and understand less while being
increasingly capable." Prof. Peter Cochrane, formerly of BT Labs
In memory of Brian {Hamilton Kelly} who logged off 15th September 2005

Mother" <"@ {mother} @ wrote:

|| On Tue, 2 May 2006 19:35:47 +0100, "Richard Brookman"
|| <[email protected]> wrote:
||
||| Those were the days when the very word c*nd*m was whispered out of
||| earshot of grown-ups - not like today when they show five-year-olds
||| how to fit one on a banana hands-free, as part of Year One PSE.
||
|| Are you sure? Five year olds I mean - which although I support the
|| idea of promoting safe sex, feel it's slightly young to be teaching
|| children such practical, well...
||
|| If the case, I'd ask what on earth ever happened to 'childhood'.

Maybe I was exaggerating just a teensy bit.

They do show demos of how to put one on, although not in Year One*, and not
the hands-free method to my knowledge. Although, given some of the stuff
you hear of being sent round schools in the name of life skills and
diversity, I feel it's only a matter of time.

I am sure you know that childhood is a reactionary term, used by the
oppressing classes to keep pre-adults (pre-oppressors/rapists and pre-womyn)
in a state of servitude. It never existed, except as a middle-class
construct.

* as far as I am aware .. anyone with young 'uns care to contradict?

--
Rich
==============================

I don't approve of signatures, so I don't have one.

Simon Isaacs wrote:

|| On Mon, 1 May 2006 23:35:46 +0100, "Lee_D"
|| <[email protected]> scribbled the following
|| nonsense:
||
||| "Austin Shackles" <[email protected]> wrote in message
||| news:[email protected]...
|||
||||| A mate of mine (and yes it was a mate, not me) had a very bad
||||| experience in
||||| a Mini. The lady he was with was deployed in the only possible
||||| position on
||||| the back seat and he had both front seats lifted forward. At the
||||| crucial moment, in an attempt at sprog-avoidance, he moved
||||| smartly backwards and slipped. Remember those long gear levers
||||| in the early Minis? Apparently it
||||| took half an hour to get him off it (and half a box of tissues on
||||| the gear knob before it was fit to drive again). The girl nearly
||||| died laughing when
||||| she related it to us in the pub the next night.
||||
|||| eeek!
||||
|||| should've stumped up for a condom, innit.
||||
|||
||| Just lucky it wasn't an Auto...now that would have smarted... and
||| the drive to A & E could have been interesting
|||
||
|| dunno, wouldn't have neededto move across the box though, just
|| backwards and forwards from D to R

Yup, 'twas a manual - hence the need to get him off and clean up the gear
knob before driving home (to a bath full of crushed ice, I'll wager).

If it was an auto, it might appear easier, but how would you operate the
little button that lets you shift into R? Suggestions on a postcard.

--
Rich
==============================

I don't approve of signatures, so I don't have one.

On Tue, 02 May 2006 20:26:57 +0100, Mother <"@ {mother} @"@101fc.net>
scribbled the following nonsense:

>On Tue, 2 May 2006 19:35:47 +0100, "Richard Brookman"
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>Those were the days when the very word c*nd*m was whispered out of earshot
>>of grown-ups - not like today when they show five-year-olds how to fit one
>>on a banana hands-free, as part of Year One PSE.
>
>Are you sure? Five year olds I mean - which although I support the
>idea of promoting safe sex, feel it's slightly young to be teaching
>children such practical, well...
>
>If the case, I'd ask what on earth ever happened to 'childhood'.

There is no such thing anymore it would appear. Have a bimble round
Meadowhall and look at all the pre teens pretending to be older than
they are and notice the clothes they are wearing..... Innocence has
gone.....
--

Simon Isaacs

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote"
George Jean Nathan (1882-1955)

Mother" <"@ {mother} @ wrote:
> On Tue, 2 May 2006 19:35:47 +0100, "Richard Brookman"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Those were the days when the very word c*nd*m was whispered out of
>> earshot of grown-ups - not like today when they show five-year-olds
>> how to fit one on a banana hands-free, as part of Year One PSE.
>
> Are you sure? Five year olds I mean - which although I support the
> idea of promoting safe sex, feel it's slightly young to be teaching
> children such practical, well...
>
> If the case, I'd ask what on earth ever happened to 'childhood'.

Went the same way as common sense!

--
"He who says it cannot be done is advised not to interrupt her doing
it."

The fiend of my fiend is my enema!

On 2006-05-03, GbH <[email protected]> wrote:

> Went the same way as common sense!

Common sense is hugely over-rated.. Common sense items include the
earth being flat, the sun and planets going around the earth, and that
if we make tools, who makes us, must be some big invisible bloke!

--
Blast off and strike the evil Bydo empire!

On or around Wed, 3 May 2006 11:55:33 +0100, Ian Rawlings
<[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:

>
> the sun and planets going around the earth,

There's nothing wrong with that except that it makes the maths more
complicated. You can argue convincingly that the whole universe moves in
various ways and you, yourself, stay still.

--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.net my opinions are just that
"Nessun maggior dolore che ricordarsi del tempo felice nella miseria"
- Dante Alighieri (1265 - 1321) from Divina Commedia 'Inferno'

Austin Shackles <[email protected]> uttered summat worrerz
funny about:

> There's nothing wrong with that except that it makes the maths more
> complicated. You can argue convincingly that the whole universe
> moves in various ways and you, yourself, stay still.

Have you been talking to Mrs D?

Lee

On 2006-05-03, Austin Shackles <[email protected]> wrote:

> There's nothing wrong with that except that it makes the maths more
> complicated. You can argue convincingly that the whole universe moves in
> various ways and you, yourself, stay still.

Oooh the whole universe rotates around meeee!

--
Blast off and strike the evil Bydo empire!

Austin Shackles wrote:
> On or around Wed, 3 May 2006 11:55:33 +0100, Ian Rawlings
> <[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:
>
>>
>> the sun and planets going around the earth,
>
> There's nothing wrong with that except that it makes the maths more
> complicated. You can argue convincingly that the whole universe
> moves in various ways and you, yourself, stay still.

Excepting of course post 8pts Guinness, when everything goes round or often up!

--
"He who says it cannot be done is advised not to interrupt her doing
it."

The fiend of my fiend is my enema!

On Wed, 03 May 2006 14:28:08 +0100, Austin Shackles
<[email protected]> scribbled the following nonsense:

>On or around Wed, 3 May 2006 11:55:33 +0100, Ian Rawlings
><[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:
>
>>
>> the sun and planets going around the earth,
>
>There's nothing wrong with that except that it makes the maths more
>complicated. You can argue convincingly that the whole universe moves in
>various ways and you, yourself, stay still.

it was in fact possible to walk faster than the speed of sound if we
really want to go down the route of arguing convincingly using maths
and physics......
--

Simon Isaacs

"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote"
George Jean Nathan (1882-1955)

My thanks to Graham and Emma for putting this on.

Good to be able to put faces to names, enjoyed the company greatly.

Cheers again.

Neil and Diane

(Reply via NG please)

Neil wrote:

|| My thanks to Graham and Emma for putting this on.
||
|| Good to be able to put faces to names, enjoyed the company greatly.
||
|| Cheers again.
||
|| Neil and Diane
||
|| (Reply via NG please)

How's the puppy?

--
Rich
==============================

I don't approve of signatures, so I don't have one.

On Fri, 5 May 2006 18:35:41 +0100, "Richard Brookman"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Neil wrote:
>
>|| My thanks to Graham and Emma for putting this on.
>||
>|| Good to be able to put faces to names, enjoyed the company greatly.
>||
>|| Cheers again.
>||
>|| Neil and Diane
>||
>|| (Reply via NG please)
>
>How's the puppy?

Improving - "a work in progress" is I believe, the expression!

Neil

(Reply via NG please)