Rant: AA Men

Bloody useless, dunno why I pay my fee.

Went out to the disco afterwork to drive home, pressed the plipper on
the aftermarket system that some bloody idiot fitted before I bought
it, nothing, dead, doors stay locked....

Okay, thinks I, new battery for the fob, so get a lift down to town to
get a new battery, come back, fit new battery, reset fob using the
method I used in the past...... Still nuffink

Okay, phones AA to see if they can help, idiot trundles up an hour
later, and after listening to explanation and advising him that
unlocking using the key will trigger the alarm, promptly unlocks the
door with the key..... so begins a fun few minutes of warbling
siren.... Putting the key switches on the the electrics, but will not
start due to the immobiliser.

He scratches his head, roots and pokes around, opens and closes all
the doors, tries the plipper, tries to lock back up using the key,
whioch locks the doors but doesn't silence the alarm.... Gets out his
laptop thing, and can't find a plug in the vehicle to plug into......

Me getting highly annoyed, AA disconneccts the battery and reconnects,
alarm still going, then he begins to dismantle the dash, scratches his
head, and says there is nothing he can do. Told him to wait, went
into my elctronics room, came back with some cable and side
cutters....

"Wot you gonna do?"

"Watch and learn"

Disconnected the stop solenoid and fitted a wire from the battery to
the solenoid, then make up a link so that I can fire the starter, and
she burst into life.

"Uh, nevver seen that done before" Alarm still howling, drive home.
Disconnect battery, siren still going. Ripped out the aftermarket
system including the siren, remake all connections to how it was when
built, go to turn her over.... nothing.

Get out HBOL and disco CD, work through all processes as the original
LR alarm and immobiliser are still present. Nothing.....

Went in, had a cup of tea, came back out with bURRts keys, told the
Disco if she wouldn't run, bURRt would be driving over her. Put keys
in, off she went!!!

Removed alarm siren, which despite being disconnected from everything
was still sounding, and its sat outside, although a little quieter!!

Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!
--

Simon Isaacs

Peterborough 4x4 Club Chairman, Newsletter Editor and Webmaster
Green Lane Association (GLASS) Financial Director
101 Ambi, undergoing camper conversion www.simoni.co.uk
1976 S3 LWT, Fully restored, ready for sale! Make me an offer!
Suzuki SJ410 (Wife's) 3" lift kit fitted, body shell now restored and mounted on chassis, waiting on a windscreen and MOT
Series 3 88" Rolling chassis...what to do next
1993 200 TDi Discovery
1994 200 TDi Discovery body shell, being bobbed and modded.....

Simon Isaacs <[email protected]> uttered summat worrerz funny about:

> Bloody useless, dunno why I pay my fee.

I had one of those moments. Astra GTE (This was when I had hair!), regular
intermittent fault on the ignition to starter motor wiring. When ever I went
on a long trip I had to take some one with me to bump the car. Anyway, got
to the point one day that bumping wasn't an option.

Call out the AA... over an hour later I tell chummy the problem. He says,
well we'll have to get you recovered. "Yeah, ok while your sorting that give
me 4 ft of wire and a pair of pliers."

Two minutes later vroom vroom. Gave him his wire & pliers back, told him he
may want to cancel the recovery truck and off we went.

Taught me two things.... take a spare wire and don't hold your breath for a
recovery.

Only good for spare wheel changes in the main...that said one impressed me
with his knowledge of sticking carb floats on my Dads Granny but this is
basic stuff most 17 year olds know, well least most of the ones I come in to
contact with do.

Lee D
--
www.lrproject.com

On 2006-03-13, Simon Isaacs <[email protected]> wrote:

> Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
> electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
> wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!

I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
mechanics rented out to the AA?

I've had a few experiences with breakdown companies, the first was OK,
very similar to yours but it was the mechanic who rigged up the
override to the alarm which had toasted itself.

The second was when my old Audi 90 Quattro died, I told the recovery
company that it was a quattro but they still sent a spectacle lift
despite me telling them not to. The driver and I sat there in the
national trust car park as night fell, waiting for the platform truck
to turn up, while the peaceful car park turned into the local
cottaging point while we sat in his truck, doors locked, surrounded by
Freddy Mercury lookalikes.

The third was when I missed a service point on the Landy and the
serpentine belt gave up, the garage mechanic turned up with a tiny
V-belt to replace it, then just called for a platform truck to take me
home.

The fourth was when the plastic rocket's vacuum pump bracket broke, I
didn't know owt about cars at the time so had stopped just to be on
the safe side when I heard an unfamiliar noise. The mechanic turned
up but at the same time a beaten up truck full of northerners (yeuck!)
pulled into the layby, smoking badly and insisted that he fixed their
truck. There were 6 of them and only two of us so he had a go but
after 45 minutes of putting up with them telling him what to do, he
convinced them that it was toast and hauled the rocket away.

Most of the time, the chap who has turned up has just given the car
the once-over and then called for a platform truck, so your experience
doesn't surprise me much. A friend with an MG uses them as a mobile
tool chest, and tells them to just amuse themselves while he fixes the
car himself using their tools.

--
Blast off and strike the evil Bydo empire!

>
>Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
>electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
>wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!

If you've ever seen what passes for training for motor vehicle
mechanics in colleges these days you wouldn't be surprised.

Suffice to say a large 8x4 board with a diagram of a car's system on
it, with red and green lamps, and a set of switches to simulate faults
and "clear" faults doesn't give ideal preparation for the real world.
Especially when they're told "plug the computer in, it'll tell you
what's wrong" as the easy solution.

Ok, perhaps im being unfair to the colleges, but i've worked in a
automotive college and seen people come out with C&G in motor vehicle
mainetance who don't even know how a distributor works.

Alex

On 2006-03-13, Lee_D <[email protected]> wrote:

> basic stuff most 17 year olds know, well least most of the ones I come in to
> contact with do.

I'll bet most of the 17-year-olds you come into contact with also know
how to open a locked car quite quickly too ;-)

Or have I been reading a few too many policeman's blogs tonight?

--
Blast off and strike the evil Bydo empire!

Ian Rawlings <[email protected]> uttered summat worrerz funny about:
> On 2006-03-13, Lee_D <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> basic stuff most 17 year olds know, well least most of the ones I
>> come in to contact with do.
>
> I'll bet most of the 17-year-olds you come into contact with also know
> how to open a locked car quite quickly too ;-)
>
> Or have I been reading a few too many policeman's blogs tonight?

Shame they can't be steered in to the AA / RAC..... mind you the distressed
mother with the kid locked in the car may object to the techniques empployed
by your average candidate.

Lee

On Mon, 13 Mar 2006 21:12:47 +0000, Ian Rawlings
<[email protected]> wrote:

> A friend with an MG uses them as a mobile
>tool chest, and tells them to just amuse themselves while he fixes the
>car himself using their tools.

I've done that with the RAC

I actually think that the fix we made using his 'box of bits' was
better than the proper replacement part i bought from the dealer
later. (when i broke down i was currently running using a temporary
fix i'd done about 3 months ago).

Carbed post-82 saabs use a metal pushrod with a plastic cup on the end
to drive the fuel pump. Would have been much more use if the cup was
metal or actually fixed to the pushrod properly!

"Simon Isaacs" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Bloody useless, dunno why I pay my fee.
>
> Went out to the disco afterwork to drive home, pressed the plipper on
> the aftermarket system that some bloody idiot fitted before I bought
> it, nothing, dead, doors stay locked....
>
> Okay, thinks I, new battery for the fob, so get a lift down to town to
> get a new battery, come back, fit new battery, reset fob using the
> method I used in the past...... Still nuffink
>
> Okay, phones AA to see if they can help, idiot trundles up an hour
> later, and after listening to explanation and advising him that
> unlocking using the key will trigger the alarm, promptly unlocks the
> door with the key..... so begins a fun few minutes of warbling
> siren.... Putting the key switches on the the electrics, but will not
> start due to the immobiliser.
>
> He scratches his head, roots and pokes around, opens and closes all
> the doors, tries the plipper, tries to lock back up using the key,
> whioch locks the doors but doesn't silence the alarm.... Gets out his
> laptop thing, and can't find a plug in the vehicle to plug into......
>
> Me getting highly annoyed, AA disconneccts the battery and reconnects,
> alarm still going, then he begins to dismantle the dash, scratches his
> head, and says there is nothing he can do. Told him to wait, went
> into my elctronics room, came back with some cable and side
> cutters....
>
> "Wot you gonna do?"
>
> "Watch and learn"
>
> Disconnected the stop solenoid and fitted a wire from the battery to
> the solenoid, then make up a link so that I can fire the starter, and
> she burst into life.
>
> "Uh, nevver seen that done before" Alarm still howling, drive home.
> Disconnect battery, siren still going. Ripped out the aftermarket
> system including the siren, remake all connections to how it was when
> built, go to turn her over.... nothing.
>
> Get out HBOL and disco CD, work through all processes as the original
> LR alarm and immobiliser are still present. Nothing.....
>
> Went in, had a cup of tea, came back out with bURRts keys, told the
> Disco if she wouldn't run, bURRt would be driving over her. Put keys
> in, off she went!!!
>
> Removed alarm siren, which despite being disconnected from everything
> was still sounding, and its sat outside, although a little quieter!!
>
> Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
> electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
> wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!
> --
>
> Simon Isaacs
>
> Peterborough 4x4 Club Chairman, Newsletter Editor and Webmaster
> Green Lane Association (GLASS) Financial Director
> 101 Ambi, undergoing camper conversion www.simoni.co.uk
> 1976 S3 LWT, Fully restored, ready for sale! Make me an offer!
> Suzuki SJ410 (Wife's) 3" lift kit fitted, body shell now restored and
mounted on chassis, waiting on a windscreen and MOT
> Series 3 88" Rolling chassis...what to do next
> 1993 200 TDi Discovery
> 1994 200 TDi Discovery body shell, being bobbed and modded.....


Now that is a strange co-incidence, because after years of carrying the
yellow card round in my wallet I had reason to call them out yesterday
night.

Was coming down the A470 from Snowdonia in the wife's car when that familiar
'flobble, flobble, flobble' vibration said 'flat tyre'. I hopped out, sure
enough flat drivers side front. Despite the fact that it's dark and
freezing even I can change a wheel in under five minutes...

But, of course, this is a modern high tech car. So, instead of just getting
the wheel off the back door I have to unload all the walking and diving gear
from the boot and get the pathetic half size 50mph spare out of the boot
floor. There is also a jack in there which looks more like an egg whisk.
Anyway, hub cap off and take the weight on the jack, slightly loosen four of
the nuts...

"H****, where's the special socket for the locking wheel nuts?"
From the warmth of the car "I don't know, isn't it in the boot? What does
it look like?"
Further search confirms that it's not in the boot, the glove box or any
other place in the car. It does transpire that there was a previous flat
and the nice AA man had said then that she should get a socket for doing the
locking nuts....

Aaaarrrghhhh. Ffs.

Of course we are in the Brecon Beacons, where there is no mobile coverage.
Of course it's me that ends up walking the mile in the snow to a hotel to
phone the AA..

But, the guy had turned up before I could get back to the car, under 20
minutes. Not finding me there he then came back along the road and picked
me up giving me a lift back. He then changed the wheel and checked the
pressure of the tyre and examined the tyre on the near-side and gave good
advice on the wear and the need for a check of the tracking.. (Tyre had
obviously gone because the inside was through to the cords, so much for
company car servicing.) I have to say I was quite impressed and very
grateful to be an AA member.

Obviously this wouldn't have happened if I'd had the land rover, becuase
that's my car and I look after it (and I know exactly where the locking nut
key is!). However, in years past the AA have bailed me out several times
when otherwise I'd have been completely shafted, including an occassion when
they winched my 90 off a beach at 4.00am, but that is not the topic for
discussion here. ;o)

They get a big thumbs up from me. Don't get involved with vehicles which
have aftermarket alarm systems fitted by muppets might be the real message
here.

Cheers,

M.

We used an AA mans tools to replace the gearbox on a 101 in the services on
the M1 near Nottingham- he was astounded.

>Ok, perhaps im being unfair to the colleges, but i've worked in a
>automotive college and seen people come out with C&G in motor vehicle
>mainetance who don't even know how a distributor works.


Very true It is unfortunate that they don't feel the need to spend the
time instructing on what is now and obsolete ancillary, as it will give
a much greater understanding to the workings of an engine.

You can see ex apprentices glaze over when faced with a carburettor and
run for cover when it comes to set up points.

When an engine comes in running badly the first thing they reach for is
a scope.

--
Marc Draper

Marc Draper wrote:

> Very true It is unfortunate that they don't feel the need to spend the
> time instructing on what is now and obsolete ancillary, as it will give
> a much greater understanding to the workings of an engine.

Indeed - Grandad's Austin 7 ran on exactly the same rules as modern cars
ie. if you have oxygen, fuel, compression and ignition the thing will
run. And if it won't run the first round of diagnostic checks are pretty
much identical for both ancient and modern vehicles.

>
> You can see ex apprentices glaze over when faced with a carburettor and
> run for cover when it comes to set up points.

I really enjoy that reaction from ex-apprentices - I then wind them up
about seeing if I can organise a review of their qualifications because
they appear to have failed to comprehend the most basic concepts of the
internal combustion engine.


> When an engine comes in running badly the first thing they reach for is
> a scope.

Which in a significant number of cases is of fractionally less use than
a chocolate teapot. I still laugh at the memory of a recently qualified
mechanic hooking the scope up to a vehicle with a broken cam belt so as
to diagnose the lack of spark.

--
EMB

>Indeed - Grandad's Austin 7 ran on exactly the same rules as modern
>cars ie. if you have oxygen, fuel, compression and ignition the thing
>will run. And if it won't run the first round of diagnostic checks are
>pretty much identical for both ancient and modern vehicles.

I am glad I qualified when I did !



>Which in a significant number of cases is of fractionally less use than
>a chocolate teapot. I still laugh at the memory of a recently
>qualified mechanic hooking the scope up to a vehicle with a broken cam
>belt so as to diagnose the lack of spark.
>



I was in someone else's workshop the other day, watching them diagnose a
newish Jag that would not start. Scopes connected up to everything.

It had spark and the plugs were all wet.

I had to point out that as there was no petrol smell coming from exhaust
it was not going to be a straight forward fault... I found the fuel cap
was missing and that the rain had filled the fuel tank with water !!!
The small drain tube that clears water etc. from the recessed fuel
filler was blocked.
--
Marc Draper

In message <[email protected]>
Ian Rawlings <[email protected]> wrote:

> On 2006-03-13, Simon Isaacs <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
> > electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
> > wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!
>
> I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
> mechanics rented out to the AA?
>

The AA are very rpoud of most of their patrols being their own, they
only use others as an emergency back-up.

<snip>

Richard
--
www.beamends-lrspares.co.uk [email protected]
Running a business in a Microsoft free environment - it can be done
Powered by Risc-OS - you won't get a virus from us!!
Boycott the Yorkshire Dales - No Play, No Pay

> I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
> mechanics rented out to the AA?

That's Green Flag. AA & RAC tend to use their own fleet until it comes
to recovery.

Matt

>> I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
>> mechanics rented out to the AA?
>
> That's Green Flag. AA & RAC tend to use their own fleet until it comes
> to recovery.
>
Not quite right, the AA are probably 50/50 Own staff/agent, on both recovery
and roadside.

The RAC are 99% own staff on roadside, but do use agents occasionally, and
are 100% agent on recovery.

Green flag, and everyone else are 100% agent, none of their own staff. (the
green flag liveried vehicles are actually agents vehicles, supplied cheap to
them to run in GF colours)

On or around Tue, 14 Mar 2006 09:05:43 +0000 (UTC), beamendsltd
<[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:

>In message <[email protected]>
> Ian Rawlings <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> On 2006-03-13, Simon Isaacs <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> > Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
>> > electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
>> > wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!
>>
>> I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
>> mechanics rented out to the AA?
>>
>
>The AA are very rpoud of most of their patrols being their own, they
>only use others as an emergency back-up.

in outlying areas, there are still a lot of agents. Mind, I reckon the AA
have gone downhill quite considerably since the buy-out by Centera, and I
have to admit that I took the bribe and voted for it too...
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.net my opinions are just that
If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink;
Good wine, a friend, or being dry, Or lest we should be by and by;
Or any other reason why. - Henry Aldrich (1647 - 1710)

In message <[email protected]>
Austin Shackles <[email protected]> wrote:

> On or around Tue, 14 Mar 2006 09:05:43 +0000 (UTC), beamendsltd
> <[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:
>
> >In message <[email protected]>
> > Ian Rawlings <[email protected]> wrote:
> >
> >> On 2006-03-13, Simon Isaacs <[email protected]> wrote:
> >>
> >> > Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
> >> > electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
> >> > wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!
> >>
> >> I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
> >> mechanics rented out to the AA?
> >>
> >
> >The AA are very rpoud of most of their patrols being their own, they
> >only use others as an emergency back-up.
>
> in outlying areas, there are still a lot of agents. Mind, I reckon the AA
> have gone downhill quite considerably since the buy-out by Centera, and I
> have to admit that I took the bribe and voted for it too...

I think they have just been sold again?

Richard
--
www.beamends-lrspares.co.uk [email protected]
Running a business in a Microsoft free environment - it can be done
Powered by Risc-OS - you won't get a virus from us!!
Boycott the Yorkshire Dales - No Play, No Pay

On or around Tue, 14 Mar 2006 14:16:47 +0000 (UTC), beamendsltd
<[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:

>In message <[email protected]>
> Austin Shackles <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> On or around Tue, 14 Mar 2006 09:05:43 +0000 (UTC), beamendsltd
>> <[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:
>>
>> >In message <[email protected]>
>> > Ian Rawlings <[email protected]> wrote:
>> >
>> >> On 2006-03-13, Simon Isaacs <[email protected]> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> > Why dont the AA train their muppets to learn machanics and basic
>> >> > electrics rather than hope for a socket that will tell them what is
>> >> > wrong with the vehicle. Off to write a letter to them!!!!!
>> >>
>> >> I thought that most of the mechanics were actually local-ish garage
>> >> mechanics rented out to the AA?
>> >>
>> >
>> >The AA are very rpoud of most of their patrols being their own, they
>> >only use others as an emergency back-up.
>>
>> in outlying areas, there are still a lot of agents. Mind, I reckon the AA
>> have gone downhill quite considerably since the buy-out by Centera, and I
>> have to admit that I took the bribe and voted for it too...
>
>I think they have just been sold again?

not heard of that - but this time, of course, they didn't have to have a
vote by the "members" :-(
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.net my opinions are just that
"You praise the firm restraint with which they write -_
I'm with you there, of course: They use the snaffle and the bit
alright, but where's the bloody horse? - Roy Campbell (1902-1957)