I'd say that you have two problems there.
The oil in the ECU red plug is due to the seal on the injector harness having degraded and it's allowing oil to run down the wires from the engine towards the ECU. There's plenty about it here on the forum or check out this webpage:-
http://www.discovery2.co.uk/Injector_harness.html
Your starter trouble is probably due to the starter relay (relay R2 in the engine fuse box) being stuck closed. I would reckon that's a good place to start looking. Automotive relays are cheap enough, and that one is just plug in.
The only other place which might be at fault is on the back of the ignition switch, but to be honest, that would seem unlikely, but not impossible.