Another joke lifted from VOLVO Forum

[Jon Dor]

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner..?'
(I just love this)
'For ****'s Sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN..

 

[tomcat59alan]

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner..?'
(I just love this)
'For ****'s Sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN..

I'm worried about you Mike, your spending a lot of time on the Volvo forum, do you have a vested interest?

 

[kermit_rr]

Do volvoers have jokes unsuitable for the jokes fred?

 

[kermit_rr]

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner..?'
(I just love this)
'For ****'s Sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN..

Everyone mumbles these days

 

[tomcat59alan]

Do volvoers have jokes unsuitable for the jokes fred?

If they do we want to hear them.

 

[brianp38dse]

I want to the doctors about my hearing, He said describe the symptoms. I said Homer is fat & bald, Marge has blue hair and they have 3 kids.

 

[Jon Dor]

I'm worried about you Mike, your spending a lot of time on the Volvo forum, do you have a vested interest?

BUSTED!
Yes Alan. I sold the XC70 that I got to see me through last winter...the 5th I'd have had to endure as the P38's drivers side blend motor would ONLY blow cold air and I couldn't face that again.
A few weeks ago, I then bought a 2006 XC90 with what I was assured was "no fuel getting to the high pressure pump from tank". I viewed it in the dark and trailered it home. It had been in a garage for more than 18 months....then the garage went "tits up". They'd replaced the HPP - old one in drivers footwell - and so I took a punt at £550. Interior is close to mint, brand new premium branded rubber all way round but once home, I discovered the wiring loom has been interfered with in a major way and it - of course - has other issues. It'll be a nice car when sorted, but not as straightforward as I'd hoped.
Went to investigate lift pump yesterday, but managed to put my back out just leaning in car to remove middle row of seats to get to the fuel tank.
It looks like the car is in better fettle than me!

 

[Jon Dor]

Everyone mumbles these days

SPEAK UP KERMIE!!!...

 

[saxavordian]

BUSTED!
Yes Alan. I sold the XC70 that I got to see me through last winter...the 5th I'd have had to endure as the P38's drivers side blend motor would ONLY blow cold air and I couldn't face that again.
A few weeks ago, I then bought a 2006 XC90 with what I was assured was "no fuel getting to the high pressure pump from tank". I viewed it in the dark and trailered it home. It had been in a garage for more than 18 months....then the garage went "tits up". They'd replaced the HPP - old one in drivers footwell - and so I took a punt at £550. Interior is close to mint, brand new premium branded rubber all way round but once home, I discovered the wiring loom has been interfered with in a major way and it - of course - has other issues. It'll be a nice car when sorted, but not as straightforward as I'd hoped.
Went to investigate lift pump yesterday, but managed to put my back out just leaning in car to remove middle row of seats to get to the fuel tank.
It looks like the car is in better fettle than me!

Are you selling the wardrobe full of poloneck jumpers next to the ABBA collection.

 

[Jon Dor]

Are you selling the wardrobe full of poloneck jumpers next to the ABBA collection.

Haha...My wife took the ABBA collection as full and final divorce settlement and, unfortunately, I've only ever had one polo-neck pullover- back in the early 70's - and that triggered the ABBA look. I was a "trend setter"!

 

[saxavordian]

Haha...My wife took the ABBA collection as full and final divorce settlement and, unfortunately, I've only ever had one polo-neck pullover- back in the early 70's - and that triggered the ABBA look. I was a "trend setter"!

Did you smoke a pipe having bushy sideburns or Swedish beard.

 

[Jon Dor]

Did you smoke a pipe having bushy sideburns or Swedish beard.

Did you smoke a pipe having bushy sideburns or Swedish beard.

You're my Mum aren't you!
I did indeed have bushy sideboards back in 1971...much to the annoyance of my Sales Director...and some years later smoked a pipe, until I did myself a mischief when I'd stored my pipe in my waisband, then fell over, narrowly missing spearing my right testicle with the pipe stem
Still have my home-grown, well-behaved beard from age of about 18yrs...

 

[tomcat59alan]

Did you smoke a pipe having bushy sideburns or Swedish beard.

Bit personal.

 

[saxavordian]

You're my Mum aren't you!
I did indeed have bushy sideboards back in 1971...much to the annoyance of my Sales Director...and some years later smoked a pipe, until I did myself a mischief when I'd stored my pipe in my waisband, then fell over, narrowly missing spearing my right testicle with the pipe stem
Still have my home-grown, well-behaved beard from age of about 18yrs...

 

[Jon Dor]

View attachment 258258

No idea who this caricature is of, but I'm bored now, too...

 

[tomcat59alan]

No idea who this caricature is of, but I'm bored now, too...

Back to the Volvo forum then.

 

[Jon Dor]

Back to the Volvo forum then.

Haha! Nah..I need a hot soak in the bath to get some movement into my back before I go for a medical appointment Alan....GONE!

 

[tomcat59alan]

Haha! Nah..I need a hot soak in the bath to get some movement into my back before I go for a medical appointment Alan....GONE!

Happy Birthday Mike, another year gone bath time comes around quicker doesn't it.. good luck with the appointment.

 

[dubbleRR]

and some years later smoked a pipe, until I did myself a mischief when
I'd stored my pipe in my waisband,

what a chat up line Were you trying to get your pipe smoked

 

[Rubberknees]

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner..?'
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner..?'
(I just love this)
'For ****'s Sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN..

Thats me that MIke