L322 A day in the diary of a Range Rover driver

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

I couldn't believe that the traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the Range Rover lane.

Anyway, once I was in the Range Rover lane and dawdling along at 90 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the Range Rover lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the Range Rover lane and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a Range Rover behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder.

Apparently he wants me to do a course on motorway driving courtesy.

I’ve never lectured before but I’ll give it a go.

The nerve of them
And you were in your own lane
Lord have mercy!

Well at least
Your on the lecture circuit
Now
Just tell them like it is...,

Make sure you let them know they're all inferior and driving inferior cars. Most importantly, don't forget to tell them *why*. You'll get some resistance initially because they'll refuse to believe their cars are inferior.
It's ingrained into much of society that front wheel drive is the future and that the smaller the engine cc, the better!
If you want to treat them, let them see your superior engine and explain how it's oriented the proper way, inline with the direction of travel

He was just jealous he isn't provided a proper car for the job he has.

The course syllabus is simple.

1 introduction
2 how good aRange Rover is.
3 lessons on how to get out of their way.
4 how to respect a Range Rover.
5 Any other questions No. END.

Simply

Sure you could put that together

J.

just because you have a RangeRover they think you have everything. Of course - you bl**dy do!

They always want want want...
Who do they think I am?

Diane Abbot

Q- what do you do when the car you are tailgating and flashing your lights at refuses to move over?
A- use your horn as well

That’s why they call it a bumper

Dont forget to point out range rover drivers travel at that speed to get to there destination before it breaks down !

kds said:

Dont forget to point out range rover drivers travel at that speed to get to there destination before it breaks down !

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Range Rovers don't break down, they enforce strict maintenance periods to keep you on your toes

kds said:

Dont forget to point out range rover drivers travel at that speed to get to there destination before it breaks down !

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Except in the case of the P38, they travel at speed to get to their destination before they rust away

Datatek said:

Except in the case of the P38, they travel at speed to get to their destination before they rust away

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I'll have you know my p38 has no significant metalworm infestation!!

kermit_rr said:

I'll have you know my p38 has no significant metalworm infestation!!

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Think that was the point, it's the other RR models that rust away.

I know what you mean about Jealousy, only last night mine had it's photo taken by one of those yellow box cameras at the side of the road and it didn't even ask my permission, bloody cheek if you ask me.

I tend to drive past many a peasant in my Newly acquired 730d..

Pah

Mind you i'm abroad at the moment in the newly acquired vehicle..

and in the german fast lane..

Rough road surface ?

Henry_b said:

I tend to drive past many a peasant in my Newly acquired 730d..

Pah

Mind you i'm abroad at the moment in the newly acquired vehicle..

and in the german fast lane..

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As a 7'er fan, I would be cautious doing those sort of speeds with that many warning lihghts lit...especially the ABS and Traction light!

But not worried about driving with a broken speed gauge and phone in hand

Edit - he had a go pro on his head hands free

Saint.V8 said:

As a 7'er fan, I would be cautious doing those sort of speeds with that many warning lihghts lit...especially the ABS and Traction light!

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Yes that is a wheel speed sensor, 'twas fixed after that jaunt..

Mind you i'm floating about now, no more 155

RangeRoller dt said:

But not worried about driving with a broken speed gauge and phone in hand

Edit - he had a go pro on his head hands free

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A camera sellotaped on the wheel with a 1min delay timer

Actually

Ooo, that replacing your jag?

Sexy sleeper