Have you ever bought a pup which you thought shoulda`ve been put down at birth? Meet a11y my freelander, bought from a farmer complete with farm yard and smells.Cash changed hands(are they laughing at me) and oft i go to have a deep valet on it, bootifull it looked. Of comes the the plastic cover stupid thing to leave on, of i go happy and contented (thought!!! why is my a*** wet ) or so i thought. Found out why the cover was left on,now where did i throw it, took almost 2 weeks to dry it out sure they hosed it out and charged me for the pleasure of it.Right, now to put it away for the night why do they make garage doors so small 30mins later safetly tucked up for the night good job the other half wasn`t driving, she`d still be there gap to small
Next day daughter says can we go out in it of course dear , of we trot to the garage , open door press key fob nothing try again nothing , whats the matter dad says my dear daughter?.Don`t know as i`m looking up to the sky for inspiration, try key ,open door and slither in the narrow gap stick key in ignition zilch apart from a glow from interior light(strange). I`ll bring my car down dad says my lovely daughter(she is)ok says i. Back she came right i`ll sit in car you push me out(i`m older),half out it grinds to a halt daughter`s ran out of puff and i`m stuck in it as the doors are flush with door frame, what shall we do now dad said she(call the scrap mani`ave had enoughsaid i) Well after crawling over two sets of seats managed to escape through back door(freedom) right plan "B" drag it out by its tail, stick watch mirrows stick jump leads on it , we have lift off. Fast forward to garage for the once over(cash machine ringing) water is a bit low keep an eye on it,right says i,off goes wifey to Manchester for week-end with freelande.r(tempting fate or what) Yup you`ave guessed it, phone call wont start what should i do(call scrap man ,wot again)Very nice man came out could find nothing wrong it had a new battery, alternator the lot fitted still nothing then after a while they tried again, we have lift off.She was lucky the 2 new fords had their wheels and centre consoles nicked(where they trying to tell me something)
Fast forward again this things getting thirsty,good job it doesn`t drink beer back to the garage (cash register jinglingAGAIN )head gasket !!!!! Do it (am i getting attached to it)head of skimmed pressure tested uprated gasket job done.
Fast forward again wifes car going for servicing i`ll take yours of we jolly well go to the garage (does this sound familar) open doors press fob zilch.OPen door slither in key in ignition ( glow worm is brighter) nothing.Right my dearly beloved you go for jump leads then we push it out. You`ve got it in one , we get stuck again pop the bonnet she said,the leads will reach ok how does someone manage to break a heavy duty jump start clip but can`t push a out of the garage.Just hold the bl**dy thing on the terminal i need freeing her hands got more shakes than a lambs tail, we have lift off. Quick lets go drop her car of have mine(should charge on a run) Needs petrol do i risk it (go on do it) your right it didn`t wife runs over trys to get in only one door open mine. Roll car out of garage bump start on main road, she has to get to work to pay for this blood sucking machine. I`ll get the bus she said you can take it home and cuddle it.Halfords new jump leads and charger(chap who has mine went on holiday for2 weeks) now i`m waiting for it to charge.Q Should ikeep it? skye
Next day daughter says can we go out in it of course dear , of we trot to the garage , open door press key fob nothing try again nothing , whats the matter dad says my dear daughter?.Don`t know as i`m looking up to the sky for inspiration, try key ,open door and slither in the narrow gap stick key in ignition zilch apart from a glow from interior light(strange). I`ll bring my car down dad says my lovely daughter(she is)ok says i. Back she came right i`ll sit in car you push me out(i`m older),half out it grinds to a halt daughter`s ran out of puff and i`m stuck in it as the doors are flush with door frame, what shall we do now dad said she(call the scrap mani`ave had enoughsaid i) Well after crawling over two sets of seats managed to escape through back door(freedom) right plan "B" drag it out by its tail, stick watch mirrows stick jump leads on it , we have lift off. Fast forward to garage for the once over(cash machine ringing) water is a bit low keep an eye on it,right says i,off goes wifey to Manchester for week-end with freelande.r(tempting fate or what) Yup you`ave guessed it, phone call wont start what should i do(call scrap man ,wot again)Very nice man came out could find nothing wrong it had a new battery, alternator the lot fitted still nothing then after a while they tried again, we have lift off.She was lucky the 2 new fords had their wheels and centre consoles nicked(where they trying to tell me something)
Fast forward again this things getting thirsty,good job it doesn`t drink beer back to the garage (cash register jinglingAGAIN )head gasket !!!!! Do it (am i getting attached to it)head of skimmed pressure tested uprated gasket job done.
Fast forward again wifes car going for servicing i`ll take yours of we jolly well go to the garage (does this sound familar) open doors press fob zilch.OPen door slither in key in ignition ( glow worm is brighter) nothing.Right my dearly beloved you go for jump leads then we push it out. You`ve got it in one , we get stuck again pop the bonnet she said,the leads will reach ok how does someone manage to break a heavy duty jump start clip but can`t push a out of the garage.Just hold the bl**dy thing on the terminal i need freeing her hands got more shakes than a lambs tail, we have lift off. Quick lets go drop her car of have mine(should charge on a run) Needs petrol do i risk it (go on do it) your right it didn`t wife runs over trys to get in only one door open mine. Roll car out of garage bump start on main road, she has to get to work to pay for this blood sucking machine. I`ll get the bus she said you can take it home and cuddle it.Halfords new jump leads and charger(chap who has mine went on holiday for2 weeks) now i`m waiting for it to charge.Q Should ikeep it?
skye
