reet, we do a fair bit of this at work connecting to various control panels. How we get it to work is to buy a usb to serial convertor, which will give you the 9 pin connection you need. Connect this to the laptop/pc without anything else, and it should go through the "new hardware has been found" routine and install the drivers. Once you have done this, go to device manager in the control panel, and you will find the usb to serial convertor has been assigned a virtual comm port number. You need to use this number in the software setup.
Once you are happy that you have the usb to serial convertor installed and a comm port number, turn your attention to the clifford software. make sure the comm port it uses is the same as the usb to serial convertor.
all that done, make sure you deffo have the right 9 pin lead as there are about a gazillion variations, some straight through, some with pin reversals etc.
once that done, you should have some success.
Best of luck, now and again we do come across one that just won't.