Note to Santa.

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat
Please do put a penny in the old man's hat
If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do
If you haven't got a ha'penny, then sod off you twit!

Dear Best Beloved
Rather than receive yet another bottle of 'Old Spice' this Christmas or before you consider sending a pair of saucy knickers to err.. say Norfolk maybe...What would you wish for that kith and kin might buy for your motor this yule-tide?
I'm going for some silicone hoses.

It's November .. Go Away.

Paul D said:

It's November .. Go Away.

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Now listen to me. You'll end up on Christmas Morning with nothing but a pair of socks or Old Spice.
You need to let kith and kin know what it is that you want in plenty of time. They'll need to do some on-line research, save up, order things via the internet, allow for the post, consider whether there might be industrial action that might cause an unforeseen delay. What if you had really wanted some Snow Chains for Christmas and, say, the weather had turned really bad in the last couple of weeks in December, what then? You'd be sat at home on Boxing Day with nice socks and no where to go in your motor. Why? because you dallied.
6 P rule applies here:
Proper Planning Prevents **** Poor Presents!

Some sun tan lotion and pair of budgie smugglers

Off to Tenerife on Boxing day!!

biggeeeee said:

Some sun tan lotion and pair of budgie smugglers

Off to Tenerife on Boxing day!!

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That's fine. But the question was 'What do you want for your motor on Christmas Day?'

Colonial said:

That's fine. But the question was 'What do you want for your motor on Christmas Day?'

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Dont read the instructions unless I'm really struggling - I'm a real man

biggeeeee said:

Dont read the instructions unless I'm really struggling - I'm a real man

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In budgie smugglers!

I don't want or need anything just the continued love of a good woman..my Doris.

Sorry for the slightly gay post above, I'm pizzed on vodca an something else I can't remember.
Hello ween party you knaa.

But l do lovey me Doris.xxx

Doris will now have no idea what to get you now Flossie. Be a little bit more 'positive' if you please. Do you really like 'Old Spice'?
Ah, Okay. Vodka. How will that get the Land Rover moving over the festive period?

But I would like for Xmas a new box from Ashcroft but the spend limit is £20 so chocy Brazil's and viz annual again keeps me happy.

It feels very like Christmas when an Ashcroft's parcel arrives, whatever the time of year. I like the way they've got bits of polystyrene shaped exactly to accommodate the component. Makes it feel really professional.

I've peaked early so am off to bed.
Vodka gives headache to me.

One more go on Kari ok (knell diamond) crackling Rosie, gonna nail it then bed.

So, okay, so far. Our list of wishes to send up the chimney on Christmas Eve, is a pair of very brief swimming trunks and some rust cream, (the sort that makes some ladies, and, yes, well, bigeeeee look like satsumas).
Flossie needs to pour a little Vodka (if there is any left) into his windscreen washer bottle to prevent it freezing over in the next few weeks.
Paul D will be sat by his fireside and listening to Val Doonican (wearing his best jumper) And Brown will be going through all his presents looking for polystyrene shapes that might mean something. Festive Spirit; Not yet! I'm hanging on for Silicone Hoses. (Actually, you could change the words of 'Cracklin' Rose' for 'Silicone Hose') Flossie, sleep tight.