land rover owner test

I was contemplating, while giving the disco it's monthly blast with the
pressure washer, one of those mutliple-choice tests to establish whether you
are, by nature, a LR owner...

some sample questions follow, feel free to add ones. If we get it sorted,
we can put it on the web somewhere.


1: Your vehicle has one or more oil leaks. do you:
a) Take it to the dealer to repair it.
b) Attempt to repair it yourself.
c) Decide that it's useful protection for the chassis and simply top up the
oil levels.
d) As above but put a pan under where you park, to catch the oil so you can
use it to paint the fence.

2: Your vehicle *doesn't* leak any oil at all. do you:
a) Check the oil in case it's low.
b) Panic - the oil must have run out.
c) Feel smug that your repair has worked.
d) Regard it as normal and proper behaviour.

3: How often do you wash your vehicle?
a) Once a week whether it's dirty or not.
b) More than once a week.
c) Don't understand the question / never.
d) When the weight of accumulated mud starts to affect the performance.
e) When it's looking especially dirty.

4: You're driving along and your vehicle starts to make an odd noise. Do
you:
a) Stop immediately and phone the AA or RAC or equivalent.
b) Start to accelerate, decelerate, swerve etc. in order to find try to see
what conditions make the noise.
c) Not notice, 'cos you have the 500W stereo belting out thumpy-thumpy music
at 120dB.
d) Stop, crawl underneath the vehicle and have someone rock it to see if you
can spot what's loose.
e) Ignore it, if something's about to fall off, then you'll find out what it
is when it does so.
f) b, d, and e in turn.


I suggest the following scoring:

1: a)1 b)2 c)3 d)4
2: a)3 b)4 c)2 d)1
3: a)2 b)1 c)5 d)4 e)3
4: a)2 b)3 c)1 d)4 e)4 f)5

more suggestions welcome, along with scoring, or comments.

ideally, we could get it to decide which LR product you should be driving as
well

I scored 14 from those 4 - scores will go from 4 to 18.

Austin Shackles vaguely muttered something like ...
> I was contemplating, while giving the disco it's monthly blast with the
> pressure washer, one of those mutliple-choice tests to establish whether
> you are, by nature, a LR owner...
>
> some sample questions follow, feel free to add ones. If we get it sorted,
> we can put it on the web somewhere.
>
>
> 1: Your vehicle has one or more oil leaks. do you:

> d) As above but put a pan under where you park, to catch the oil so you
> can use it to paint the fence.

e) Catch the oil to re-use it ...

> 2: Your vehicle *doesn't* leak any oil at all. do you:
> a) Check the oil in case it's low.

e) Add a can full anyway, it can't hurt, can it ?

> 3: How often do you wash your vehicle?
> d) When the weight of accumulated mud starts to affect the performance.

f) When school ask me to. (I'm a caretaker and use the school car-park ..


> 4: You're driving along and your vehicle starts to make an odd noise. Do
> you:
> e) Ignore it, if something's about to fall off, then you'll find out what
> it is when it does so.

f) ignore it whatever .. I have a wife and kids to push it if it breaks, and
a 'mate with a trailer' if it breaks and we need to go uphill.

> I suggest the following scoring:
>
> 1: a)1 b)2 c)3 d)4
> 2: a)3 b)4 c)2 d)1
> 3: a)2 b)1 c)5 d)4 e)3
> 4: a)2 b)3 c)1 d)4 e)4 f)5

I scored 15 .. '97 Discovery 3 door, no electric windows, sunroofs, mirrors
etc etc .. as basic as a Disco gets, with aftermarket Alloy wheels and 31"
BFG AT's. Local LR place didn't know the mirrors could be got without even
the internal adjuster knob thingy .. It's as close as we could get, but
suitable for motorways and towing quickly, to our old S3, whilst adding some
comfort, like a decent (Sony) CD Player .. After a year with it (After
having an S3 and a company car Renault Laguna) I find I actually miss the
electric windows and a cruise control. I think it's our ideal vehicle.

--
Paul ...
(8(|) Homer Rules !!!
"A tosser is a tosser, no matter what mode of transport they're using."

5: The Central locking has packed up on your Land Rover. Do you.

a) Park it somewhere secure and keep an eye on it.
b) Rush to the dealer and get it sorted asap.
c) Attampt to repair it yourself, in the dark, when its raining, late at
night.
d) Leave it where it is, with the transfer box in nutral.
e) As C & D and take the fuse out to the fuel pump.

Person walks up and comments on your Jeep, do you;

a) resist the urge to scream and commit an offence
b) agree that "yes it will go off road and no you are not one of those
inconsiderate school run jerks"
c) let him know that really Jeep stands for " just enough engine parts"
d) ignore him, in the knowledge that as a one time friend he is trying to
wind you up..

"Mark Solesbury"
<[email protected]> wrote in
news:[email protected]:

>
>
> 5: The Central locking has packed up on your Land Rover. Do
> you.
>
> a) Park it somewhere secure and keep an eye on it.
> b) Rush to the dealer and get it sorted asap.
> c) Attampt to repair it yourself, in the dark, when its
> raining, late at night.
> d) Leave it where it is, with the transfer box in nutral.
> e) As C & D and take the fuse out to the fuel pump.
>
>
>

What's central locking? And how many points do I get for asking?

(I got 45 on the others)<g>.

Derry

So Austin Shackles was, like

> I was contemplating, while giving the disco it's monthly blast with
> the pressure washer, one of those mutliple-choice tests to establish
> whether you are, by nature, a LR owner...
>
> some sample questions follow, feel free to add ones. If we get it
> sorted, we can put it on the web somewhere.
>
>
> 1: Your vehicle has one or more oil leaks. do you:
> a) Take it to the dealer to repair it.
> b) Attempt to repair it yourself.
> c) Decide that it's useful protection for the chassis and simply top
> up the oil levels.
> d) As above but put a pan under where you park, to catch the oil so
> you can use it to paint the fence.
>
> 2: Your vehicle *doesn't* leak any oil at all. do you:
> a) Check the oil in case it's low.
> b) Panic - the oil must have run out.
> c) Feel smug that your repair has worked.
> d) Regard it as normal and proper behaviour.
>
> 3: How often do you wash your vehicle?
> a) Once a week whether it's dirty or not.
> b) More than once a week.
> c) Don't understand the question / never.
> d) When the weight of accumulated mud starts to affect the
> performance.
> e) When it's looking especially dirty.
>
> 4: You're driving along and your vehicle starts to make an odd noise.
> Do you:
> a) Stop immediately and phone the AA or RAC or equivalent.
> b) Start to accelerate, decelerate, swerve etc. in order to find try
> to see what conditions make the noise.
> c) Not notice, 'cos you have the 500W stereo belting out
> thumpy-thumpy music at 120dB.
> d) Stop, crawl underneath the vehicle and have someone rock it to see
> if you can spot what's loose.
> e) Ignore it, if something's about to fall off, then you'll find out
> what it is when it does so.
> f) b, d, and e in turn.
>
>
> I suggest the following scoring:
>
> 1: a)1 b)2 c)3 d)4
> 2: a)3 b)4 c)2 d)1
> 3: a)2 b)1 c)5 d)4 e)3
> 4: a)2 b)3 c)1 d)4 e)4 f)5
>
> more suggestions welcome, along with scoring, or comments.
>
> ideally, we could get it to decide which LR product you should be
> driving as well
>
> I scored 14 from those 4 - scores will go from 4 to 18.

I got 14 as well. Ideally you need an "interpretation" panel - you know:

Score:
Below 6 - just get a Toymota and an AA subscription and leave us alone
7-10 - Your hands are too clean - go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect
that Scorpion Racing 2" lift kit
11-15 - You are a Haynes Manuals Valued Customer
16-17 - You need to get out more
18 - RESPECT.


--

Rich

Nullum Gratuitum Prandium

On Fri, 12 Nov 2004 15:37:28 +0000 (UTC), "Mark Solesbury"
<[email protected]> wrote:

6) The first snowfall of the winter is underway. Do you:

a) carry on regardless because you have a 4x4 so can never get stuck.
b) Twiddle your terrain knob to snow, then as per a).
c) Stare glumly at the extra levers near the gear selector and wish
you knew what they did.
d) Whoop with glee and go looking for the snowiest local roads to
rescue people from.
e) Hibernate.

Answers

a) You have a Rav4
b) You are Jeremy Clarkson (did anyone see the new Disco on the telly
last week?)
c) You are a woman
d) Congratulation, top beardy, real ale swilling Land Rover bloke.
e) You are a squirrel

On or around Fri, 12 Nov 2004 18:25:47 +0000 (UTC), "Richard Brookman"
<[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:

>Score:
>Below 6 - just get a Toymota and an AA subscription and leave us alone
>7-10 - Your hands are too clean - go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect
>that Scorpion Racing 2" lift kit
>11-15 - You are a Haynes Manuals Valued Customer
>16-17 - You need to get out more
>18 - RESPECT.

I was rather hoping for some more questions first. There are a few good uns
cropping up.

"rads" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Fri, 12 Nov 2004 15:37:28 +0000 (UTC), "Mark Solesbury"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> 6) The first snowfall of the winter is underway. Do you:
>
> a) carry on regardless because you have a 4x4 so can never get stuck.
> b) Twiddle your terrain knob to snow, then as per a).
> c) Stare glumly at the extra levers near the gear selector and wish
> you knew what they did.
> d) Whoop with glee and go looking for the snowiest local roads to
> rescue people from.
> e) Hibernate.
>
> Answers
>
> a) You have a Rav4
> b) You are Jeremy Clarkson (did anyone see the new Disco on the telly
> last week?)
> c) You are a woman
> d) Congratulation, top beardy, real ale swilling Land Rover bloke.
> e) You are a squirrel
>
>
answer d for me (been there done that) except I'm clean shaven and not keen
on real ale

> 1: Your vehicle has one or more oil leaks. do you:
>

C, only a Freelander onwer would take it to the main dealer. But then
there not *real* land rover owners are they.

>
> 2: Your vehicle *doesn't* leak any oil at all. do you:

A, as it is most odd for a S1, S2 or S3 not to leak somewhere, lol


> 3: How often do you wash your vehicle?

C, again only Freelander owners clean thier Land Rovers, because they
can get relly muddy picking the kids up from school or in the car park
of Tesco.

> 4: You're driving along and your vehicle starts to make an odd noise. Do
> you:

In a S1, S2 or S3, you hear odd noises all the time, thats if you can
hear anything.

Didn't work out my score, it's maths, don't like maths. But as you can
guess I am a *real* LRO, I got a proper S3, not some pansy Freelander.
Why LR made that I'll never know.

In article <[email protected]>,
[email protected] (rads) wrote:

> c) You are a woman

Humph

--
Niamh
4x4 Cymru
http://www.4x4cymru.co.uk

rads wrote:
>
> b) You are Jeremy Clarkson (did anyone see the new Disco on the telly
> last week?)

No, I think we all missed it. What was it again? ;-)

[email protected] (8unker) wrote:

>> 3: How often do you wash your vehicle?
>
>C, again only Freelander owners clean thier Land Rovers, because they
>can get relly muddy picking the kids up from school or in the car park
>of Tesco.

I will never forget my wife after her first tour through the woods
with her defender, pointing at the dirty car and saying "a land rover
has to look like _this_!". And a few days later, when it started
raining, she said "oh ****, its getting clean again" )



regards - Ralph

--

Want to get in touch? http://www.radio-link.net/whereisralph.txt

I score 17, now what ought I to be driving ?


--
Larry
Series 3 rust and holes



"Austin Shackles" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> I was contemplating, while giving the disco it's monthly blast with the
> pressure washer, one of those mutliple-choice tests to establish whether
you
> are, by nature, a LR owner...
>
> some sample questions follow, feel free to add ones. If we get it sorted,
> we can put it on the web somewhere.
>
>
> 1: Your vehicle has one or more oil leaks. do you:
> a) Take it to the dealer to repair it.
> b) Attempt to repair it yourself.
> c) Decide that it's useful protection for the chassis and simply top up
the
> oil levels.
> d) As above but put a pan under where you park, to catch the oil so you
can
> use it to paint the fence.
>
> 2: Your vehicle *doesn't* leak any oil at all. do you:
> a) Check the oil in case it's low.
> b) Panic - the oil must have run out.
> c) Feel smug that your repair has worked.
> d) Regard it as normal and proper behaviour.
>
> 3: How often do you wash your vehicle?
> a) Once a week whether it's dirty or not.
> b) More than once a week.
> c) Don't understand the question / never.
> d) When the weight of accumulated mud starts to affect the performance.
> e) When it's looking especially dirty.
>
> 4: You're driving along and your vehicle starts to make an odd noise. Do
> you:
> a) Stop immediately and phone the AA or RAC or equivalent.
> b) Start to accelerate, decelerate, swerve etc. in order to find try to
see
> what conditions make the noise.
> c) Not notice, 'cos you have the 500W stereo belting out thumpy-thumpy
music
> at 120dB.
> d) Stop, crawl underneath the vehicle and have someone rock it to see if
you
> can spot what's loose.
> e) Ignore it, if something's about to fall off, then you'll find out what
it
> is when it does so.
> f) b, d, and e in turn.
>
>
> I suggest the following scoring:
>
> 1: a)1 b)2 c)3 d)4
> 2: a)3 b)4 c)2 d)1
> 3: a)2 b)1 c)5 d)4 e)3
> 4: a)2 b)3 c)1 d)4 e)4 f)5
>
> more suggestions welcome, along with scoring, or comments.
>
> ideally, we could get it to decide which LR product you should be driving
as
> well
>
> I scored 14 from those 4 - scores will go from 4 to 18.

Err what central locking ?????


--
Larry
Series 3 rust and holes



"Mark Solesbury" <[email protected]> wrote
in message news:[email protected]...
>
>
> 5: The Central locking has packed up on your Land Rover. Do you.
>
> a) Park it somewhere secure and keep an eye on it.
> b) Rush to the dealer and get it sorted asap.
> c) Attampt to repair it yourself, in the dark, when its raining, late at
> night.
> d) Leave it where it is, with the transfer box in nutral.
> e) As C & D and take the fuse out to the fuel pump.
>
>

central locking
means you can reach the passenger door from the drivers seat
"Larry" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Err what central locking ?????
>
>
> --
> Larry
> Series 3 rust and holes
>
>
>
> "Mark Solesbury" <[email protected]> wrote
> in message news:[email protected]...
>>
>>
>> 5: The Central locking has packed up on your Land Rover. Do you.
>>
>> a) Park it somewhere secure and keep an eye on it.
>> b) Rush to the dealer and get it sorted asap.
>> c) Attampt to repair it yourself, in the dark, when its raining, late at
>> night.
>> d) Leave it where it is, with the transfer box in nutral.
>> e) As C & D and take the fuse out to the fuel pump.
>>
>>
>
>