excuses

righty ho yous lot i need a really good fool proof excuse. i was supposed to be having dinner with a lady of the female ilk.. thing is i forgot and now i need a really good excuse. so get posting

You were talking to a particular freelander owner & you caught dumba**** virus?
You've been to the UK & forgot the time difference?
Your dog/relative/friend has just died?
You died?
She meant this Wednesday?
You were that excited at the thought of seeing her you took too much dutch courage & fell asleep in the bath?

Where was she? You waited ages at a different venue?

ah!! a master of the excuse.. but none of them will do

Cuz after deliberation you decided she was a pig and would rather have dinner with a rabies ridden mule?

Sack cloth & ashes then....
Fall on your knees and grovel for forgivenes - after all you are just a man what does she expect?

you forgot that you had an appointment at the std clinic?

you couldn't go to dinner as you didn't have a clean bib

David said:

you couldn't go to dinner as you didn't have a clean bib

Click to expand...

i couldn't make it in time cos i had to tow a gaylander out of a patch of chewing gum

Tell her you got a S3, you'll never see her again.

ah see she knows that already and she knows i also got a jag a beamer and a maserati and of course the old trusty escort estate. if i said i had a gaylander she'd be inviting all her friends round for free hair do's

yeh, but would you trust a gaylander owner to cut your hair

only if my bum was against the wall

do it my way, grovel like a bastard, admit you are useless, then tell her she looks so sexy when she is angry, works every time

i suppose i could try that but i know what wil happen.. i'll get invited to her place for some more of her cooking

**** me i can't even get the missus to cook for me

she cooks for me when i come round

and she fooks for me when i come round. you were in a field somewhere.

saves me doing a messy job ormus

nothing wrong with messy

Just tell her you weren't hungry