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    LHD 300tdi Frankenstein's monster

    I was building this beastie to send to an African mission hospital, but life has changed, we're moving house, and it has to go. It's got a Forward Control chassis, modified beyond all recognition, and mainly Discovery 300tdi running gear. It has a cab-forward layout and nine seats. As a work in...
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    Frankentruck lives!

    Aaaand cut. We're moving house, and I basically don't have scope to store this any more, or - if I'm honest - enthusiasm to finish it. I'd like to wind the project up, send the truck on to a good home and donate what remaining funds we have to the charity we hoped the truck would serve. A bit...
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    Green laning near Derby?

    I've finally got my 4x4 on the road and reasonably sound. Anyone up for some moderate green laning in the Derby area? I've got average ground clearance but nothing compared to a lifted Disco, and no sump protection yet.
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    And after an improbably long time, it's road legal!
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Just realised I haven't posted here since October. Whoops... Well, it's running, it's mobile, and we're nearly MOT-ready:
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Well, we're still not mobile. Got distracted by shiny things instead and fitted some spotlights. Spotlights are more important than things like fixing a wheel bearing, or fitting an anti-roll bar, or any of that lot, right? So... have some spotlights. We did run a compression test together, but...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Agreed - and I guess one advantage that this thing has is that most parts aren't too massive. Easier to have my daughter working on this than, say, craning an R380 and 300tdi out. Well, I say easier; the engine bay's absolutely shrink-wrapped around the power pack such that you have to pull the...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    You'll probably be familiar with what an engine sounds like when running on open headers. The turbo quietens things down a little but it still sounds like Animal from the Muppets. So I've prioritised the exhaust before getting the engine running right:
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    These things have a plastic slam panel, most of which has long since been cut off to allow the radiator to sit a bit higher. Finally made a steel replacement, got the radiator mounted, and then tried running the engine:
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    And here's part 2. Some paint and a grille and it suddenly looks finished.
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Well... took a detour from fixing the engine and started a front bumper instead. Fun fact - a trampoline frame has exactly the same curvature as the front end of a TT... It's mostly done - mainly the upper grille opening needs bars across it, but there simply wasn't enough non-antisocial time to...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    There was always a question mark over the engine; on the dealer's back lot it was making a lot of white smoke that, "oh, I'm sure it didn't do when we parked it up..." Hmm. Somehow it had developed some remarkably serious engine issues while standing, then! Bought it anyway as it was so cheap we...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Finally filled in the big gaps in the rear wheelarches. All steel, formed with everyday tools. Well, structurally all steel; I'd be lying if I didn't say there was a skim of filler on top.
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    Frankentruck lives!

    Bit of an update on this one - I got most of the main systems in, to the point where the engine would run off a jerry can, but couldn't seem to get it over the line. So last November it went to Paul Lumley down in Bridgewater, the idea being that he'd have it for a couple of months and move it...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    It still doesn't have an engine, but surely that's not important. It's got rocksliders though...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Quick video this week. Used some Discovery spring seats to make spacers for the rear springs. Stops it looking like there's a tonne of concrete in the boot:
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Lifting it messed up the suspension geometry, not surprisingly, so the front control arms have been widened to get the camber back, cranked to keep the bushings happy, and offset to stretch the wheelbase so the tyres don't catch on the arches. Had fun getting the steering rack and driveshafts to...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Lopped various bits off the bonnet to make enough room to get a snorkel intake in. No self-respecting off-roader should be without one, right? Granted, even with the intake at roof level, it's only about mid-windscreen height on my neighbour's lifted jeep. And the Audi 1.8T has slightly more...
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    What welding kit?

    /Automatic darkening mask/ This. I use big yellow Ar/CO2/O2 (yes, oxygen) mix cylinders that are labelled as "HobbyWeld 5". Not sure of the manufacturer but mine come from SDL Minorfern who are a motor factors local to me. I pay something like £75 refundable deposit for each bottle, then about...
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    (insert hairdresser joke here) Bobtailed Audi TT

    Started lifting the front suspension. Achieved a 3" lift, but the driveshafts are running out of angle on full droop, so for now it looks the part but needs some surgery before it actually works. Fitted some bonnet catches too.
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