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Put some nuts out then had me own brekfust. They ate em all so one sat on the fence watching me. Eye looks out. He runs down the trellis and waits at the window. Eye drops a nut out. Then eye goes out to put some more nuts down. One were on me slabs. He jumps on the trellis 3m away from me but...

Just bin er sheep waiting fer kev to eat his pee nut butta. Sat int kitchen leaning on side fing. Eye has given up to night. Blocked the trap of so it dun't catch a squirrel. In bed now.

Found it. By the jam.

Try agen. Thas gorrit. Parretseatemol

Me fones startid correctin me spellin anorl.

Eye is posting live from sainsberrys. Lookering fer pee nut butter fer kev. Can't find it.

Bit like tratter restoration. There be loads ov advice on ere.

Window peeps seen have take o'fence to delaying next stage ov measuring up ferra few months. Looked at naybors. Done a nice job.

Its cold.

Seen kev today. Bin wukkin from home making somefink. Patio curtains open so eye could see me squirrels visiting. Kev was lerkin about 5pm. Ran away when e seen me but came back and braved it ferra nut.

Tratter wanting to be a freelander.

He has if e's gorra TD4 henjin. Was int FL2.

Nuts av bin put outside me trap but not innit. Lets get kev comfortable wiv being by said trap. 3 calls today from the window peeps. All ignored. Eye ain't being rushed into anyfink.

Yer post includes a quote wiv swearing. Dun't take it personal. You ain't the only one.

Nuvva one

Kev's house under me slabs is gerrin a bit wet. Can see the water coming down me harvester pipe. Tis arf inch deep snd flowing down me garage gutterin. 9.6mm fell in 8 minutes. Thas 300L flowed over the top because all me water butts are full. Squirrels are soaked but still coming back fer nuts...

Tis like givvin out parking tickets.

Rumbles ov funda. Me rain app ses we is avvin rain. About to get 6mm in one hour. Squirrels are going bonkers eating as quick as they can. They know sommints up.

Spottid kev going for me squirrels nuts last nite so eye goes out un sets the trap and put some in. As eye came out the door somefink shot int bush. Fink he's living under ma patio. Nayber ses he live under a shed 10 doors down. There be a hole int mud which eye fink he uses assa nuvva entrance...