L322 Won’t start

brasso said:

@brianp38dse @RangeRoller dt this is the battery you’d recommend, right?:

https://www.batterymegastore.co.uk/product/hankook-heavy-duty-commercial-battery-mf31-1000/

I understand it’s a tight fit? Might need to get the garage to put it in for me?

Think I’ve said it’s a 4.4 V8 petrol but making sure!

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That is the battery, fits the diesel so should fit the petrol.

brasso said:

Yes, I’m going to get the garage to check it tomorrow if possible. Jump started her today with one of those portable jump starters. Should the negative terminal have sparked?! ‘cos it did. Exciting.

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The sparks are why jump starting should be avoided as much as possible.

Make sure you put the bonnet in to service mode to help getting the battery in.

Datatek said:

That is the battery, fits the diesel so should fit the petrol.

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Thank you.

Datatek said:

The sparks are why jump starting should be avoided as much as possible.

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Yeah, it’s not ideal having to jump it every day! Must be frying that ‘new’ battery the fella who sold it to me put in it.

brianp38dse said:

Make sure you put the bonnet in to service mode to help getting the battery in.

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I’ve found a Land Rover specialist near here to fit it for me. So I’m sure he’ll know about service mode?!

Just to update with not much of an update:
1. My dad’s mechanic is an honest chap and said that, while he knows his way around that BMW engine blindfold, he’s not so familiar with Land Rover wiring. So I either try to find the parasitic drain myself or take it to an electrical/LR specialist...
2. ...which I might well do because the sunroof is going to need fixing. It’s a lot more closed than it was but it still ain’t properly shut.
3. The new thermostat, water pump housing and CV boot have been fitted/fixed at least!

Thanks again for everyone’s help here. Will update with progress (or not...) as soon as.

That’s fair he said that I think.
Familiarity is issue with RR they are quite specific

RangeRoller dt said:

That’s fair he said that I think.
Familiarity is issue with RR they are quite specific

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On the other hand, parasitic draw is just a case of yanking fuses and then working through what is on that circuit and the wiper already looks a favourite.

Grrrrrr said:

On the other hand, parasitic draw is just a case of yanking fuses and then working through what is on that circuit and the wiper already looks a favourite.

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Yeh, the BMW mechanic seemed a bit reticent to start pulling fuses in case he caused more problems?! And that’s probably put me off doing it myself tbh.

Had a trip out to keep the poor old battery charged up today. Air-con was ice cold in the sunshine and it drives like a dream (for now...)

I’ve realised very quickly why people fall in love with them, despite all the issues. Might be the best car I’ve ever owned. I imagine it’ll end up being the most expensive too!

You are now showing the signs
Starts slow but then gets worse
Sorry and welcome to the club

oakey said:

You are now showing the signs
Starts slow but then gets worse
Sorry and welcome to the club

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haha, cheers @oakey

Green oval syndrome is bad on times but good if you don’t fight it.
And don’t think getting rid of the Landy will cure it. Too late.
Found that out the hard way.

brasso said:

Had a trip out to keep the poor old battery charged up today. Air-con was ice cold in the sunshine and it drives like a dream (for now...)

I’ve realised very quickly why people fall in love with them, despite all the issues. Might be the best car I’ve ever owned. I imagine it’ll end up being the most expensive too!

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You know that Bond film where he is tied naked to the chair and the villain swings that heavy knotted rope into his knackers? That's nothing compared to 30 seconds with the Green Oval Goblin and your wallet.

Be lucky to get gearbox done with a testicles worth.

Keep thinking of the snake in "The Jungle Book" with the psychedelic eyes

Ha! What have I got myself into...

Stay safe and control the spending....keep us posted on your progress and we'll do everything we can to keep that loving feeling for your Range.
Tricky.

Christ, just realised with a start I never replied here after all the helpful suggestions! What a dreadful bloke. Anyway, my lovely RR went into the specialist and it turned out the ICE/amp was incredibly corroded. There wasn’t any obvious sign of water damage in the boot but I’ll know next time to unplug the amp and inspect the connectors. ‘cos look at them: