Flat old bag?

Austin Shackles wrote:
> On or around Sat, 28 Jan 2006 01:52:26 +1300, EMB <[email protected]>
> enlightened us thusly:
>
>> Austin Shackles wrote:
>>
>>> they should fit CTRL ALT and DEL buttons to the dash to reset it
>> Bugger that - running MS Windoze in a vehicle would make the old Lucas
>> electrics seem like the pinnacle of reliability.
>
> you sure they don't?
>
> ISTR a ****take about that, summat about a car breaking down and one of the
> occupants working for microsoft...

Three mates in a car, one is an electronic engineer, one a mechanical
engineer and the third is an MCSE (Microsoft certified software "engineer").

Their engine stalls half way down a bloody big hill. At the bottom, they
all get out and look for the problem, the electronics man says "its
obviously the ECU", the mechanical man, says "that's rubbish, its the
fuel injectors", and the MCSE says "why don't we all push it to the top
of the hill and see if it does it again ?"

Steve

On 2006-01-27, Steve Taylor <[email protected]> wrote:

> Their engine stalls half way down a bloody big hill. At the bottom, they
> all get out and look for the problem, the electronics man says "its
> obviously the ECU", the mechanical man, says "that's rubbish, its the
> fuel injectors", and the MCSE says "why don't we all push it to the top
> of the hill and see if it does it again ?"

There's also the one about closing all windows, opening the fuel cap,
opening the passenger door and turning on the aircon then seeing if
that makes it work, however with current alarm system reset procedures
that old gag stopped being funny!

--
Blast off and strike the evil Bydo empire!

....and Austin Shackles spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...

<snip: Disco II rear suspension went flat, 2 weeks into ownership>

> I reckon it was a height sensor throwing a wobbler. Or the brain got
> confused.

That's what they told me when I got it back. The dealer I bought it from
has sent it to a local garage, not a LR dealer, but they have "something"
that can reset the computers. I asked if was anything like "Rovacom" and
was told "probably". Anyhow, it works now.

Bit of a puzzle, though. It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have its
suspension at full stretch every now and again. So how come putting it on a
4-post lift with all 4 wheels off the ground should cause it to fail so
completely?

Oh, and I told them that the heated screen does not work (only demists a 1"
strip on the left) and the HRW has two elements out. "Mended, sir, they
just cleaned up the contacts". I said I doubted if that was the problem.
"Well, give it a try next time there is a frost and if it's not right bring
it back." You muppet - next time there's a frost I want it to work, not be
standing in the freezing cold testing the thing! They did manage to fit a
new spare wheel carrier, though - took a week.

--
Rich
==============================

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary
and those who don't.

In message <[email protected]>
"Richard Brookman" <[email protected]> wrote:

> ...and Austin Shackles spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...
>
> <snip: Disco II rear suspension went flat, 2 weeks into ownership>
>
> > I reckon it was a height sensor throwing a wobbler. Or the brain got
> > confused.
>
> That's what they told me when I got it back. The dealer I bought it from
> has sent it to a local garage, not a LR dealer, but they have "something"
> that can reset the computers. I asked if was anything like "Rovacom" and
> was told "probably". Anyhow, it works now.
>
> Bit of a puzzle, though. It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have its
> suspension at full stretch every now and again. So how come putting it on a
> 4-post lift with all 4 wheels off the ground should cause it to fail so
> completely?
>

<cynic mode>

It's a Discovery II, not a Land Rover ;-)

</cynic mode>

<snip>

Richard
--

....and beamendsltd spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...


> In message <[email protected]>
> "Richard Brookman" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> ...and Austin Shackles spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...
>>
>> <snip: Disco II rear suspension went flat, 2 weeks into ownership>
>>
>>> I reckon it was a height sensor throwing a wobbler. Or the brain
>>> got confused.
>>
>> That's what they told me when I got it back. The dealer I bought it
>> from has sent it to a local garage, not a LR dealer, but they have
>> "something" that can reset the computers. I asked if was anything
>> like "Rovacom" and was told "probably". Anyhow, it works now.
>>
>> Bit of a puzzle, though. It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have
>> its suspension at full stretch every now and again. So how come
>> putting it on a 4-post lift with all 4 wheels off the ground should
>> cause it to fail so completely?
>>
>
> <cynic mode>
>
> It's a Discovery II, not a Land Rover ;-)
>
> </cynic mode>
>
> <snip>
>
> Richard

Oi, you sell bits for 'em - it must be a Land Rover!

--
Rich
==============================

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary
and those who don't.

In message <[email protected]>
"Richard Brookman" <[email protected]> wrote:

> ...and beamendsltd spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...
>
>
> > In message <[email protected]>
> > "Richard Brookman" <[email protected]> wrote:
> >
> >> ...and Austin Shackles spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...
> >>
> >> <snip: Disco II rear suspension went flat, 2 weeks into ownership>
> >>
> >>> I reckon it was a height sensor throwing a wobbler. Or the brain
> >>> got confused.
> >>
> >> That's what they told me when I got it back. The dealer I bought it
> >> from has sent it to a local garage, not a LR dealer, but they have
> >> "something" that can reset the computers. I asked if was anything
> >> like "Rovacom" and was told "probably". Anyhow, it works now.
> >>
> >> Bit of a puzzle, though. It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have
> >> its suspension at full stretch every now and again. So how come
> >> putting it on a 4-post lift with all 4 wheels off the ground should
> >> cause it to fail so completely?
> >>
> >
> > <cynic mode>
> >
> > It's a Discovery II, not a Land Rover ;-)
> >
> > </cynic mode>
> >
> > <snip>
> >
> > Richard
>
> Oi, you sell bits for 'em - it must be a Land Rover!
>

We sell bits for Freelanders too......... ;-)

Richard
--
www.beamends-lrspares.co.uk [email protected]
Running a business in a Microsoft free environment - it can be done
Powered by Risc-OS - you won't get a virus from us!!
Boycott the Yorkshire Dales - No Play, No Pay

On or around Thu, 16 Feb 2006 21:27:49 -0000, "Richard Brookman"
<[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:

>Bit of a puzzle, though. It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have its
>suspension at full stretch every now and again. So how come putting it on a
>4-post lift with all 4 wheels off the ground should cause it to fail so
>completely?

The Citroens I had didn't like that - caused the system to depressurise the
suspension in an effort to get the ride height back to normal. Mind, that
was a nice simple mechanical system, so it pumped itself back up again
pronto once let down and the engine started.

--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.net my opinions are just that
Blue: The sky is blue for a reason. Blue light is a source of strength
and harmony in the cosmos. Create a blue light in your life by
telephoning the police
from the Little Book of Complete B***ocks by Alistair Beaton.

....and beamendsltd spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...

>>> <cynic mode>
>>>
>>> It's a Discovery II, not a Land Rover ;-)
>>>
>>> </cynic mode>
>>>
>>> <snip>
>>>
>>> Richard
>>
>> Oi, you sell bits for 'em - it must be a Land Rover!
>>
>
> We sell bits for Freelanders too......... ;-)
>
> Richard

Well, OK...

--
Rich
==============================

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary
and those who don't.

On Sat, 18 Feb 2006 08:55:20 +0000, Austin Shackles wrote:

>> It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have its suspension at full
>> stretch every now and again.

With the system fully powered though so it can run the compressor to pump
things back up.

> The Citroens I had didn't like that - caused the system to depressurise
> the suspension in an effort to get the ride height back to normal.

My DII didn't like having each corner jacked up when I rotated the
wheels, note using the jacking points on the suspension not a high
lift... It was flat afterwards but soon(*) pumped itself backup when the
engine was started.

Likewise it's flat when it comes of the back of low loader. You should
have seen the look on the face of the dealers service manager as he
grounded the tow hitch plate backing it off the last time it was
recovered. B-)

(*) Soon is relative, it is quite slow if you don't know it's doing it
you are hard pushed to notice. Unlike the DIII which zips up and down.

--
Cheers [email protected]
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

On or around Sat, 18 Feb 2006 08:25:31 +0000 (UTC), beamendsltd
<[email protected]> enlightened us thusly:

>In message <[email protected]>
> "Richard Brookman" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> ...and beamendsltd spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...
>>
>>
>> > In message <[email protected]>
>> > "Richard Brookman" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> >
>> >> ...and Austin Shackles spake unto the tribes of Usenet, saying...
>> >>
>> >> <snip: Disco II rear suspension went flat, 2 weeks into ownership>
>> >>
>> >>> I reckon it was a height sensor throwing a wobbler. Or the brain
>> >>> got confused.
>> >>
>> >> That's what they told me when I got it back. The dealer I bought it
>> >> from has sent it to a local garage, not a LR dealer, but they have
>> >> "something" that can reset the computers. I asked if was anything
>> >> like "Rovacom" and was told "probably". Anyhow, it works now.
>> >>
>> >> Bit of a puzzle, though. It's a Land Rover, it's supposed to have
>> >> its suspension at full stretch every now and again. So how come
>> >> putting it on a 4-post lift with all 4 wheels off the ground should
>> >> cause it to fail so completely?
>> >>
>> >
>> > <cynic mode>
>> >
>> > It's a Discovery II, not a Land Rover ;-)
>> >
>> > </cynic mode>
>> >
>> > <snip>
>> >
>> > Richard
>>
>> Oi, you sell bits for 'em - it must be a Land Rover!
>>
>
>We sell bits for Freelanders too......... ;-)

one-all...
--
Austin Shackles. www.ddol-las.net my opinions are just that
Appearances: You don't really need make-up. Celebrate your authentic
face by frightening people in the street.
from the Little Book of Complete B***ocks by Alistair Beaton.