Farmer to his wife,"When I parssed the barn Fred 'ad 'anged iself from a beam".
"Did 'ee cut'n down?" said the wife.
"No 'ee wad'n dead yet." said the farmer.
Joe: "Good hevening, Dicky, 'ow be 'ee,then? I just cum 'ere to ax 'bout that spaade yew borried las' week."
Dicky: "Aw dear, I lent 'un to Sam, iss I did. Were 'ee wantin' un?"
Joe: "No, 'tesn't fer meself. 'Tes the man I got 'un from 'oo tells me the bloke it b'long to want'un back!"
Said one Cornish bed-and-breakfast farmer to another,"I'll tell 'e, I'll be glad when they furriners stop cummin' fer the Summer. Then I can shave meself and taake me trouser bottoms out o' me boots."
