Sayings that offend the down to earth swearing class.

How about a list of realy irritating sayings that people who earn far to much money say to impress other people that earn even more than they do. And really offend the people that should be earning that kind of money but don't 'cos they've got proper jobs and swear to much.

Like :-

"Let me paint you a dream"

"Are we talking blue skies here"

"Ball park figure"

"singing from the same hymn sheet"

Maybe not, if I was the forum police I'd ban myself for writing that.

"its as reliable as a landrover"

"I was just filling up the Hummer"

"I was just paying the dealershipfor fixing my DISCO again"

These two really do my head in!:

"Lets look outside of the box"

"Can you square that circle for me"

TW*TS the lot of em!!!!!!!

"thinking outside the envelope"

What the Hell does that mean anyway?

"there's no I in team"

Being reminded that I am "Shop floor" by tossers who reffer to themselves as "Salaried" and "Production Team". I've forgotten more about my job since my Apprenticeship than these tossers will ever learn.

Regards WP.

When someone wants some welding done and they say

"can you just..........."


It's the JUST that gets me, I always want to say

"Well, if it's "JUST" that, and it's that easy, do it yourself!

But I never do.

Example: Can you JUST patch up my rear cross-member.

(When the rear cross-member in question looks like it's made of autumn leaves!)

Guitarman said:

When someone wants some welding done and they say

"can you just..........."


It's the JUST that gets me, I always want to say

"Well, if it's "JUST" that, and it's that easy, do it yourself!

But I never do.

Example: Can you JUST patch up my rear cross-member.

(When the rear cross-member in question looks like it's made of autumn leaves!)

Click to expand...

Couldn't agree more chap, my idiot sh*t for brains son in law always wants summat fabbing or welding for nowt as if its OK. The prat also tells others "Oh my missus's dad will do yer that".

Regards WP.

I'm a centre lathe turner by trade and spent a bit of time on CNC lathes programing them myself. Although CNC is by far easier than handraulic turning if you can get your head round the fact that you press buttons instead of wind handles.

Any way the companies big chief came round one day and saw someone working a CNC machine and commented to the works manager that that machine was simple to operate all you do is press buttons any one could do it. When the works manager told me as shop steward and wanted to down rate the CNC machines, I came out with the "Morcambe and Wise" line,

"Yes any one can press buttons but only a skilled person can press the right ones in the right order"

He bogged off with his tail between his legs suitably embarrassed for bringing the subject up.

I was late for work one morning 'cos I didn't set my alarm, the same manager asked if I was "Problematic in that area"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why the **** didn't he say "Do you have trouble getting up in the morning".

I hate many many things like this, from management speak to plain, good old fashioned stupidity:

...get people's buy-in... (Oh FFS! Say support instead of buy-in)

...at the end of the day... (yes, it goes dark. What you really mean is when I've stopped talking bobbins this is what I came to tell you)

...actual, as in "that'll be your actual brake pads that need replacing mate" (what as opposed to the ****tin virtual ones? and I'm not your mate BTW)

...basically...(shut up, use less words, try saying the same phrase again without it)

...you know, like, sort of... (no I effin don't - articulate properly you monkey and stop wasting my life)

...I know there's no I in team, but there is a me in it (do you know that you sound like a tw*t and it's a David Brentism ?)

...let's get our ducks in a row... (why, are we having a bath together?)

I could go on and on, but I've just got myself really angry thinking about it.

GRUNT said:

why the **** didn't he say "Do you have trouble getting up in the morning".

Click to expand...

probelly cos you would have answered "ask yer wife"

i seen that **** wayne rooney on sky news the other day he's susposed to have writen a book or summin and during the interveiw about it all he manages was, "you know" , "i mean","basically" and "at the end of the day"
****ing arse!!

hes been contracted to write 5 books for a major publisher, ffs!
(he can hardly write/say 5 words).
the guy is a certified moron.

the 20 year old manchester tosser has agreed a 12 year contract with harpercollins to write a minimum of 5 words, oh sorry books which will net him 5 million + royalties.
the first volume due to hit the shelfs at the end of july will be an autobiography of his life so far up to the world cup. FFS, I GOT UP PLAYED SOME FOOTBALL, HAD ME TEA AND WENT TO BED

he said "im excited about this deal, its a big thing for me(LEARNING TO READ AND WRITE) hopefully, there will be lots of things to read about the first book will cover from when i was 1. WELL HE'LL HAVE A **** LOAD TO WRITE ABOUT THERE THEN.

he said " ill be talking about my life in football and other things to, DOH !, there will be a few surprises in there.YOU THINK, WE ALLREADY KNOW YOUR A DUMB ARSE. it will be very good for people to see the other half of me.
NOT TO MENTION ALL THAT BLOODY MONEY IM GETTING FOR F'ALL.
FFS
rant over.

MUDDEE said:

I GOT UP PLAYED SOME FOOTBALL, HAD ME TEA AND WENT TO BED

Click to expand...

In there you need to add 'PLAYED WITH MESELF UNTIL ME EARS WENT RED'

then after he met Colleen substitute 'meself' with 'mebird'

then after signing for Man U... 'counted me pile of money and gave up'

What a ****

Wayne who?

****er wayne

its like being "super numary" .... means surplus to requirements