not waving but drowning

Hi, i've just bought a series 3 109 after convincing my missus it would be a really good idea. i had fond memories of pootling about mid wales in a 109 station wagon and a defender 10 years ago, but this thing is a very different kettle of fish, and i'm desperate not to let on to my missus that i've completely lost the plot!
it started out as a soft top (its got a tailgate), but now has a hard top fitted, the petrol tanks are under the driver and passenger seats, and seem to need the seats removing to fill up, nothing bloody works on it even though its got a 10 day old mot, the seat belts are fitted wrong (i think - they are fitted to the back of the seat, not to the hard top), the seats aren't bolted (just as well - if they were i couldn't put any petrol in it), the paint is peeling off the mud that has been used to fill the bulkhead (my fault for buying it in the dark) and steering seems to be a case of moving like a fish down the lane... i haven't driven it far enough to know what is wrong mechanically, other than a leak form the sump (by the look of it).
oh well. looks like i've got a great summer ahead of me...

it sounds like you have an ex mod landy.. they have twin tanks one under each seat and you do need to remove them to fill up. the steering is fairly easy to fix , once you locate the problem. get someone to turn the steering wheel back and forth about 4 or 5 inchs, while you put your hand on the ball joints. you will feel any wear in them.
if they are ok check the wheel bearings by jacking up the landy, then grip the wheel the 3 and 9 o'clock position, then wiggle it back and forth. any play wil show up as excess movment.
after you have done this rush out and buy a haynes manuel for what to do next

Hello ishmael and welcome,
You just think you've lost the plot thats all. I'm sure you will get it sorted out eventually. The first positive step was to register here, there are a lot of people here who are only too pleased in obliging with good advice.
If you are struggling then log on and someone will eventually try to help mate.
I'm a little dismayed with the w**ker who filled the bulkhead with crud then painted it over what an underhanded tosspot, name and shame the git if I were you.
Good luck mate and take it one job at a time.

Regards WP.