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Iffit rattles like a tin of marbles it will help it sound orfentic.

Couldn't find me nife at wuk yesdi. We has wuked together for many years. Eye were sad to fink eye'd lost him or he'd been taken. May only be an auto retracting carpet nife burrits been reliable and friendly over the years. Gorra nuvva one but it weren't the same. Near the end of the day eye...

Eye ain't gorra nap on me cotton sheet. Hence why to balls run so far wiv a little tap. Yer can spend hundreds onner nooker cloff but eye din't know if me setup would wuk so we went for the cheap option. Eye ain't gottid pockets yet. Some creativity wiv cereal boxes has solved this. Board is 8x4...

Engrave yer name in them in several places.

Chuckle

Eye has no idear. You can see random lines along the 8 foot lenf. Its a cotton flat sheet yer buy ferra bed from dunelm. 15 sovs just assa test to see iffit wuks. Table is flat. Monitoring that to see iffit bends and needs more support later on.

A cotton cloff makes yer nooker balls run fast. Eye assume less friction than the propper fing.

Cloff fitted. 6 pockets cut. Not the best pocket cuts but eye ain't bovvurd. They fold round the corners ok. Need to remark me measurements as eye have just covered them wiv cloff. Nite.

Fink its flat enuff. Staples going in now. Tis a good job me staple gun issa a propper one that dun't need me air compressor. Old hand type. Eye has watched the professional fitters ont youtube fitting a cloff anorl.

Gorra steam iron. Never used it so will experiment.

Ask yer dorris