The Official Joke Thread

[slob]

if i may be so bold as to add acouple to the above list
11. above the undertakers." pay now go later"

12. above the travel agent." go now pay later"

[Wesley Pegden]

Hi Slob. I've got to ask the burning question. The delightful young Lady who has appeared on your postings, it wouldn't by any chance be Mrs Slob would it ?

Regards WP.

[slob]

hi wes unfortunatly its not. someone had been tampering with my jamacian ready rubbed and these appeared. the doc says my hormones is ferked up. he sugested i take up something manly to counter the effect so i thought i might take up hot air balooning.

[GRUNT]

How do you know when a chavs sister is having her period????????????







His Dads knob tastes funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GRUNT]

Sorry but lifes like that round these parts.

Garry Glitter, if he gets the death penalty would like to be cremated and his ashes put in an Etchasketch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !111






So kids can still play with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GRUNT]

Did you here about the White Horse on holiday in Scotland.

He went into a whisky bar (or is it whiskey? don't know my Scotch from my Irish I just drink it).

Any old how this white horse went into a whiskey bar in Scotland and asked for a double whiskey.

The barman said to the white horse.

"What whiskey do you want? we have loads of different whiskeys we've got single malts, blended whiskies" (Whats the plural for whiskey, or even whisky?).

"we've got Glenfidich "
"weve got Glenmorangie"
"we've got Bells"
"we've got Grouse"
"We've even got one named after you!"

"What" said the white horse.








"Eric"

[slob]

irish whiskey........scottish whisky
didyou know the irish distill theirs THREE time while in scotland they only do so once. do you know why?????






cos the micks can't get it right the first two times

[topcatguzzi]

Mickey Mouse is in the divorce court -
the judge says "having big teeth is no reason for you to divorce Minnie"

Mickey says "I didn't say she had big teeth I said she was fucking Goofy!!"

thankyou and goodnight,

tom

[scott110]

Very tricky maths.

Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.

Take 1000
and add 40.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.

What is the total?



v
v
v
v
v






5000 yeah??



Well no its 4100 - go on check with the calculator!!

[danny]

went to a zoo once...
only had a small dog in it...
wasn't that good...
it was a shitzoo